Breaking Bad

Here is, uh... Here's my résumé.

I mean, technically it says "curriculum vitae,"

which I think is more professional, but, you know,

same thing, pretty much.

That's... Wow, great.

This position truly is a no-experience-necessary kind of thing.

Well, and it doesn't really say it here,

but I have a solid background in sales.

I'm pretty much a self-starter, so...

That's excellent, but... Excellent.

I just... I really feel I could be a major,

major asset to your sales force.

Ah.

I'm thinking there's a little misunderstanding.

This isn't actually a sales job.

I mean, I'd be happy to consider you for a sales position,

but all our agents need to be licensed,

have at least two years on-the-job experience

and usually a college degree.

Oh.

What you'll be doing is more like

advertising.

Hey, Jesse.

Hey, man.

Yo, man.

What up? Badger?

Where you been keeping yourself?

Nice duds.

Yeah, you too.

Thanks.

Yo, why would you wanna do this lame-ass job, anyway?

I mean, no offense.

Because I'm on probation, yo.

I gotta prove to the man I'm rehabilitated.

Upstanding citizen, all that shit.

It's really good exercise too. Look.

You can't just stand there, you have to spin the arrow.

There's all these moves you have to learn, like "the helicopter."

Wow.

Yeah. See, yeah?

That one's a bitch.

I'm not very good at it yet.

Well, you really opened my eyes to the possibilities.

Yeah. Hey, anyways,

thanks for the toke. Any time.

Speaking of which,

you think you could maybe hook me up with some crystal?

Ah, no, I've been out of the business for a while.

Actually, now thinking about retiring.

What? No. Yeah.

That stuff you made is unbelievable.

It was pretty awesome.

Retirement?

Ah! I can't be hearing this.

No, man, I had this partner who was helping me cook.

I mean, I was doing most of the work...

but he was an asshole, so...

Anyway, I mean, pseudo's getting harder and harder to come by and...

Yo, I can hook you up with some pseudo.

Major pseudo.

I got channels, bro.

We could partner up.

Huh?

No pressure.

No pressure. Just think about it, all right?

Oh, shit. I gotta go.

Yo, this way to savings.

Save your dollar bills, y'all.

Come on! Save some money.

It's a stupid gift.

No, it isn't. He'll love it.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Didn't the invitation even say "no gifts"?

Walt. What?

We have to go.

I know, I'm not complaining.

Yes, you are.

Look, we need this.

We've been through a lot lately. Okay?

Jesus, guess we didn't get the "beige" memo.

Ah, we're okay.

Yes, I look like I'm wearing a prom dress from 1985.

Honey, you look fine.

Walt, this is the only thing I could find that fit me.

God, would you look at that. The invitation said "no gifts."

So? Come on.

Sir, I'll take that for you.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Ahem. Oh, look, there's Elliott.

Oh, come on, let's go say hello.

Elliott. Ha.

Walt. You made it.

Happy birthday. Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Thank you. Skyler.

Hi. Oh. Oh, that's right.

Great to see you. You look beautiful, as always.

Oh. Well, these days a little more big than beautiful, but...

Of course, congratulations. That was such great news.

Thank you. Gretchen, look who's here.

- Oh. - Oh.

Oh, it's been ages.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Oh, it's really good. Heh-heh.

Skyler, welcome. Congratulations.

Thank you. It's really nice to be here.

- When are you due? - In about 10 more weeks.

And actually, we recently found out that it's a girl.

Oh, that's so wonderful. Yeah.

Yeah, we've been thinking about it for ourselves.

Yeah, thinking about it.

Uh, oh, hey, by the way,

securing that patent was just amazing.

I mean, the work that your company is doing...

Congratulations to both of you.

Hard work and a lot of luck. A lot. Yeah. Oh, well, now.

Elliott.

Uh, will you excuse us? We gotta say hi.

Make yourselves at home, we'll catch up later.

Sure, sure. Okay.

Okay. So glad you're here.

Thank you. Bye.

John, Missy. How are you?

Shall we?

- Congratulations. - Happy birthday.

Oh.

Wow.

Hm. Hm.

Walt?

I thought that was you.

Farley. Long time no see.

This is Walter White. Oh. Hello.

Back at Caltech, he was...

You were just a master of crystallography.

I remember this one time

we were stuck on this protein problem for weeks.

You just breezed right in,

and you had one word for us...

Synchrotrons. Mm.

It was synchrotrons, yeah.

They generate pure

and more complete patterns than x-ray beams.

Data collection takes a fraction of the time.

This is the White in Gray Matter.

Tell them, Walt.

Okay.

Well, back when Elliott and I were in grad school,

we came up with the name. Ahem.

Schwartz, black. Walter White.

So together they became Gray Matter Technologies.

Cute, huh? So you run the company with Elliott?

No. No, that's Gretchen and Elliott.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I gravitated toward education.

Ah. What university?

Oh, wow, it's a Stratocaster.

Not just any Strat.

That's one of Clapton's.

No way.

"To Elliott, sorry about the buckle rash, Eric Clapton."

Thank you. This is beautiful.

- Why is he doing this? - Beautiful.

What is he, like 8 years old?

Here, honey.

Thanks.

Oh, this is from Walt.

Oh, God. It's okay.

Hey.

Let's see what we got.

Yum Good Ramen.

This is what Walt and I lived on

for, uh, 10 months straight

while we were working on our thesis.

Sold them down at Ralstow's in the hardware aisle.

Right next to the... What was it?

- Sterno. Yeah. - The Sterno.

Yeah, 10 for a dollar ninety-nine.

To this day, I am convinced these noodles

were responsible for our success.

This was our lifeblood.

Man, where'd you find these? I thought they'd been outlawed years ago.

I love it.

Thank you, Walt.

Well...

For the man who has everything.

- No, no, no. - It was.

No, you remember the fat guy.

- Yes. - We used to call him Snot Trough.

He had that thing under his nose.

What do you call that thing? That was Dobkins.

That was the same guy who always smelled like chocolate milk.

It was. No, no, no.

It wasn't Dobkins, it was...

Anyway, I swear to Christ, he used to iron those patches

onto the elbows of his Members Only jacket

because he thought it made him look more distinguished.

Didn't it? I thought it... No.

Oh, God. Well, here's to Snot Trough.

To Snot Trough. Wherever you may be.

God bless him.

And you remember the professor who used to hate Robert Wilhelm Bunsen?

Yes. All you had to do was mention the Bunsen burner