Unpaused

Finally!

Who wears red these days?

Is she trying to start a revolution or something?

Are you okay?

Blink twice if you can hear me.

Who comes and sits right next to you on the first date?

Is there a problem?

No, why?

Are you always like this? Or did you smoke something special today?

You can tell me, I am not going to judge you.

She is just like that girl. Number 67.

Loony, bossy, crazy.

Oh God, this is going to be a long date!

Checking the time already?

This menu is shirt.

I mean, shit!

No one orders food here anyway.

Well, I am going to order!

What are you looking at?

I spelt good money on this.

I mean, spent.

Typical middle-class mentality, underneath the designer wear.

So charming...

Has anyone told you about your smile?

It lights up your eyes.

How long does it take for someone...

to fall in love at first sight?

Ahan!

Will you actually speak out loud, or just going to talk to yourself?

L-O-L.

L-O-L? Sheesh.

So, what happens after the first date?

Do people meet outside as well?

Have you ever met anyone outside--

Look ma'am, I want to make one thing clear

so that there's no confusion or any false expectations later.

I don't meet anyone outside.

This is the only place where I meet others.

You are highly delusional, you know that?

You think I want to meet "You" outside?

I just wanted to know how the system works!

-Sorry, ma'am. -What's with the "ma'am"? My name is--

Wait a min...

You've forgotten my name, right?

Is this a date or a bloody interrogation?

How many dates have you come here on?

193 times.

So, I am number 194 for you!

193.

It's 193 including you.

Okay, that's it! I'm out of here.

I need a replacement!

No, no! Please don't go!

We've paid for an hour here.

If you leave, we'll lose the money.

This place has strict "no replacement" policy.

Fine, now you talk.

How come you're wearing red?

So?

Don't you think it's negative color... red?

I mean, blood...

war, stop signals, hazmat suits, contamination zone--

Roses.

The color red has received some terrible PR!

Do you remember Valentine's Day?

Has been banned for 10 years now.

Sure. But, even if it was a marketing gimmick...

at least we got a chance to express our feelings to each other.

Red, Valentine's day, roses, dates...

Who talks like that, in these times?

Isn't she scared?

How can she be so brave and stupid...

and beautiful!

My brother, Nikhil, always tells me...

for someone with an IQ of 164...

and I'm not trying to brag here...

but I'm a bit stupid when it comes to romance.

The reason I want the vaccine to work...

is I want romance back in my life.

What I'm about to tell you... is strictly confidential!

The human trials that we are conducting with the new vaccine--

Fuck! You're a warrior!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I almost dated death!

Ahan, statistically speaking...

no one has ever been infected by virtual contact.

Shut up, Mala! I know that.

Do you really mean it?

Do you want me to shut down?

No, no, please don't shut down.

Given my bio-data, my psych profile,

and 11 months of dating history...

how could the app set me up with a warrior?

There’s a bloody glitch in the system!

There can never be a glitch in the system.

Covid-19...

Covid-22...

Covid-26...

And now, Covid-30.

Viruses are the new terrorists!

Mean little bastards.

Before Covid, I was just a software engineer.

Now, I'm a Reiki master, a civil lawyer...

Sanskrit expert... and a lot many other things.

6 million people have died in the last 12 years.

But, I'm still alive.

Call me a "hypo"! So what?

I know it's an unpopular opinion, but heroes die...

and survivors live to tell the tale.

My latest achievement.

I've grown a hybrid eggplant

which has 30% more magnesium than a normal eggplant.

Patent pending! #vocalforlocal

Skipping...

My mental workout.

My emotional spa.

Not just WFH, I do EFH.

I do "Everything From Home."

If you really want to, you can live your entire life at home.

Without ever having to step outside!

But there's a side-effect to it.

Loneliness.

The human trials for the vaccine will commence soon.

Will we be able defeat Covid-30 this time?

Mala, change the channel.

Changing.

There's sad news coming from across the world.

-Change the channel. -Changing.

When kids blinded by love, elope from their homes...

in spite of knowing that they will be quarantined for life if they are caught--

Mala, turn off the TV.

What idiots!

This is all so depressing.

As per the current census...

87% Indians agree with you.

Would you like to know another trivia about--

Mala, please turn off your trivia setting.

Mala...

I behaved pretty badly towards her, right?

As per Indian tradition, women do not address their husbands by their names.

Which is why, they...

use different indirect pronouns...

-to address them. -You're so funny, Mala!

Who are you referring to?

I'm talking about number 193.

Number 193. Female.

-Her name-- -I know, Ayesha Hussain!

-I know. -I am impressed!

The last thing I want is a bloody warrior in my life.

Fuck! You're a warrior!

Fuck you!

"Warriors."

Virus Warriors!

The super heroes of our universe don't wear capes.

They wear PPE suits.

On the second Sunday of every month

people bang vessels

light lamps to thank us.

There are songs dedicated to us!

They have even made 4 series and 12 films about us, so far.

We are "Warriors!"

Warrior!

Do you know what is the biggest tragedy of a Warrior?

We are only meant to be in conflict zones.

But not near your homes, or in your neighbourhoods

or even at the shopping malls.

You need us, but you don't want us!

We are the new untouchables!

But I am not going to leave my house.

I'm not going to move out!

Boo!

And hypos are the worst!

Screw you all!

Mala, I can't taste anything.

Covid symptom number 4.

Loss of taste.

Oh, shit! I didn't sanitize the ukulele certificate properly.

I'm going to die now

because I mastered the art of playing the ukulele.

Mala, call Cama Clinic.

Ahan, you're a registered hypo.

Without a family member or a guardian, they won't entertain your call.

Call my sister!

Jhanvi is not going to answer your call.

How could you make Sia cry on her birthday?

What is so wrong that I said?

You’ve given her a book about sleeping beauty.

A tale in which a random guy kisses a random

girl without testing for antibodies or

knowing each other's medical history.

This is just bad parenting!

Ahan, fuck you!

It's the first choice for people to ease any pain.

Madhur Raag Charukeshi.

Congratulations! Your taste buds are fine.

Fuzz off, Mala!

Ahan! Mind your language.

Abuses come from the dirty pit of the mind.

But remember,

there's still a 30% probability of you testing positive for Covid.