Pal Joey

Wait a minute, fellows. You got this all wrong.

- l never laid a hand on her. - We got there just in time.

That's the trouble with you nightclub entertainers. You're all alike.

You think you can own every dame in the country.

Show me a law in the country that says l can't buy a doll a friendly drink.

No law, just don't buy a drink in your hotel room for a doll that's underage.

- Let's get goin', bud. - How'd l know she was jailbait?

She looked like she was 35.

Want I should ask for a driver's license?

lf you had, you would have found out she was the mayor's daughter.

But... Well, can't we talk this over?

Come on! You're leaving town now!

- l can't. l'm broke. - Here's your ticket.

One-way.

All aboard!

Thank you.

- Taxi! - Taxicab!

Cab, lady?

Taxi, sir?

No, thanks. l got my car and chauffeur meetin' me.

Step lively for a tour of San Francisco.

Aid, young man? Can l give you aid?

- What did you have in mind? - l beg your pardon.

- Lovely homes and gardens. - Get your early morning paper.

Golden Gate Park, the world-renowned Cliff House...

overlooking the Pacific.

- Let your hips swing around the whirl. - Herm, you need a singer?

Singer? l don't care if you sing like a nightingale. l'm runnin' a girls' show.

Legs, not tonsils.

l see what you mean.

Thanks a lot.

Hurry, hurry.

This is the place you can write home about.

This is the spot.

Hurry, hurry. The show is just about to begin.

Plenty of seats available. Step right on in out of the rain.

Everybody happy on the inside.

We got the greatest show in town. The greatest show.

Come on in and hear Ned Galvin And His Galvinizers...

the hottest band in town.

We got the finest food in town.

Hurry, hurry. Everybody happy on the inside.

Go on right in, bud. Hey, hey!

How are your fortune cookies?

Hi, maestro.

Remember your old pal Joey?

How could l forget? You still owe me 30 bucks from San Diego.

What do you think l'm doing here? l came back to pay you the loot.

- Oh, man, am l glad to see you. - Sure.

Take it out of my first week's salary.

Tell the management l'm available.

- You're always available. - You got to stay loose.

That's the trouble, you see, but we have an M.C.

Excuse me a minute.

Listen, can't we go someplace after the show?

Have a cup of coffee and yak up old times? Have some laughs?

That'd be good, but l got a date with a girl.

lf she's a good-looking chick, bring her along.

She's good-lookin' all right.

You don't understand. Joey's turned over a new leaf.

New Joey, huh? Sure, how about that?

How good-lookin' is she?

Back again, huh?

I'm a red-hot mama

But I'm blue for you

l get purple with anger

At the things you do

And l'm green with envy

When you meet a dame

And you burn my heart up

With an orange flame

I'm a red-hot mama

But you're white and cold

Don't you know your mama

Has a heart of gold

Hey. Who's the mouse with the built?

A terrific rainbow over you and l

You got to lay off of her, Joey. She's a nice kid.

She has ambition too. She wants to be a singer.

By the way, l'm helping her with some of her arrangements.

Looks like she's pretty well arranged as it is.

- Has that crummy M.C. shown up yet? - Not yet, Mike. He must be stuck.

Yeah, in a crap game. That's twice this week this bum has been late.

What do you want me to do? Cut his number out and we'll go right to finale?

- Yeah, go right into the finale. - Okay then.

Over you and I

Come on, ladies and gentlemen. Let's hear it. Make the ladies know it.

You can do better than that.

Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

We bid you good evening. l'm very happy to be working in my hometown of...

San Francisco.

l've never seen him before.

l was born right here in this town, right top of Telegraph Hill.

Yes, sir, my mother was sending a wire at the time.

That's in Morse code. Secret Service joke. What are you gonna do?

- You know this bum? - Yeah, l know him.

- What's his name? - His name's Joey Evans.

ls that the same Joey Evans that caused all that trouble...

at the Hi-Ho Club a few years back?

You mean the same Joey Evans who...

l've had a request to do a song that's dedicated to all the saloon keepers...

who are blowing their liquor license called ""l Didn't Know What Time lt Was."'

"" l didn't know... " Oh, boy. C7, please.

l didn't know what time it was

Till l met you

Oh, what a lovely time it was

How sublime it was too

I didn't know what day it was

You held my hand

Warm like the month of May it was

And I'll say it was grand

He's got them in a trance.

Better they stay awake. ln a trance, they won't drink.

lf they won't drink, I got to go out of business.

Grand to see your face Feel your touch

Hear your voice say I'm yours

Alone

l didn't know what time it was

And then I met you

Oh, what a lovely time it was

How sublime it was too

I didn't know what day it was

Then you held my hand

Warm like the month of May it was

And I'll say it was grand

Grand to be alive, to be young

To be mad, to be yours alone

Grand to see your face Feel your touch

Hear your voice say I'm all your own

He's cute!

You think anyone with pants on is cute!

That's a lie. l Iike lots of people without pants.

- What l mean is... - Let it lay, honey.

l'm wise and l know what time it is now

l'm wise and I know what time it is now

I'm so wise

And I know what time it is now

Thank you very much.

Okay, hit the finale.

- Say, when do I start? - You already started.

- What about my billing? - Your what?

My billing. You know, my picture out front.

- Are you kidding? - Who's kiddin', Mike?

l got a big following. Put my picture out front, they'll break the door down.

You'll have the rope up every night.

One bad night and you'Il be on the end of it.

Get this straight, lover boy. l heard a lot about you.

I don't want you sniffing around the customers' dames.

One false move and you're out on your Frances.

Yeah, you.

That's what l like, Mike. Security in a job.

Say, nobody's brought it up yet, but l get 200 a week.

- What? - l'll take less.

l made it a point never to argue with the fellow who owns the saloon.

When the sun goes down it is wide awake

Take your ma and your pa and go to Frisco

Boston is England New Orleans is France

New York is anyone for ten cents a dance

But this great big town by the Golden Gate

ls America's first and Americans make

San Francisco

She was one of those new kids, a little nervous, you know.

So l coached her a little bit, if you excuse the expression.

She was singin' all those ballads and that draggy jazz.

One day when the fleet landed...

she wanted to know from me what would please the sailors most.

So l told her.

Things were never the same between us again.

- Linda English, Joey Evans. - Hi.

Yeah, she was quite a doll, that little redheaded girl of yours in San Diego.

Mine? lt was your redheaded girl.

lf you want to get technical about the situation...

she was really the manager's girl, and she was a brunette at the time.

So good to see American food again.

l've been out of the country. l've been working for six months in Honolulu.

- You don't look very tan. - lt was the rainy season.

lf you really want to know what they wore under those grass skirts...

- Easy. - Sorry.

- Excuse me, Miss, uh... - English.

- For you, Ned. - Okay, baby. Excuse me.

l heard about you, buster.

- Big reputation. - Yeah.

But I'm too much of a lady to say what for.

My sister worked with you in Fresno.

She told me all about you.

Which one was she?

The one you didn't get to first base with.

Oh, she was the ugly one. Must be twins.

Hey, fellows, good news. We're coming up in the world.

Got a call from the agent, and he wants us to play a society party on Nob Hill.

Shorty, you call the union and get four extra guys.

Okay, Ned.

Something must have happened to the band bus. lt broke down somewhere.

- You want to go along? - We'd love to.

Wait a minute. Maybe this could be a chance to pick up a couple of bucks.

Ned boy, l'll never forget you for this.

Oh, yes, you wiIl forget it. Tell the drummer to get you a jacket.

- Nice to have met you, Miss, uh... - English.

Gotta remember that.

There is a small hotel