Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

K.D. Lang: # Skylark #

# Have you anything to say to me? #

# Can you tell me where my love can be? #

# Is there a meadow in the mist #

# Where someone's waiting to be kissed? #

# Skylark #

# I don't know if you can find these things #

# But my heart is riding on your wings #

# So if you find them anywhere #

# Won't you lead me there? #

Quit eyeballin' me, Flavis.

I knew you when you was a two-bit hustler on bull street.

Shhhhhh!

Excuse me... you know where a fellow could get a cab?

Yeah, he just left.

You can call the company,

but I'd just wait on him to come back...

Unless you want to take a ride.

Goin' to Jones street?

I'll get you there.

Put your stuff in there.

Bus driver: To your right, the pirates' house,

built in 1794.

All the ne'er-do-Wells and scalawags

divided up their Booty there.

Sherman stayed in the Green-Meldrim house

to rest up after his fiery march through Atlanta.

Oh, he was gonna burn Savannah, too,

but the locals drowned him

in Chatham Artillery Punch and fancy parties

till he decided to spare our fair city.

Forsyth Park, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey.

You lookin' for somethin'?

No.

Woman: Mr. Kelso? Are you Mr. Kelso?

Yes.

I'm Loreen Baxter. Welcome to Savannah.

Town & country is my favorite magazine.

Oh, my land! Where are my manners?

What can I get you to drink?

Anything cold would be great.

Mr. Williams restored this home...

one of the many he saved from the wreckin' ball.

The carriage house is reserved for Jim's clients,

and guests such as yourself.

He's here.

Oh, welcome, Mr. Kelsey.

Oh, I'm sorry... Mr. Kelso.

John Kelso.

Ah, yes, I'm Betty Harty.

Sonny's been expecting you.

Uh, I'm here to see Jim Williams.

Sonny is Jim's attorney.

Well, hell!

Come on in, coach.

John Kelso.

Welcome to "the old curiosity shop."

You take a seat. I'll be right with you.

Uh-huh. Oh?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh, well, you let me know.

How was your trip?

Fine, fine. Mr. Williams said he was gonna meet me here.

Well, he will be right along.

We have a little business to attend to first.

Confidentiality agreement... just boilerplate stuff...

Plus a paragraph outlinin' Jim's editorial privileges.

Uh, town & country flew me down

to write a 500-word story on a Christmas party.

It's a literary postcard. Are you serious about this?

It's not just any party.

Have you talked to the magazine about this?

Well, I'd rather have your word than some New York lawyer.

Uh, well, be that as it may,

uh, I'm not gonna sign that.

Damn! How come?

It's just a little old party write-up.

All the more reason not to compromise my ethics.

It's a slippery slope.

As a professional, I'm sure you understand.

Promise to be fair?

Yes, of course.

Jim...

This is John Kelso.

Hello.

Let's take a walk, shall we, sport?

Sure.

We'll go around Forsyth Park.

Um... Would y'all mind?

Oh, not at all, Betty.

Come on.

Did you sign Sonny's papers?

Actually, no.

Good for you.

Sonny's overly protective of my interests.

You walkin' the dog, Mr. Glover?

Yes, sir... Patrick do love his morning walk.

Woman: Would you mind?

Could I please have my picture made with Uga?

Yeah. Great.

Thanks.

All right. Smile.

Thanks. Dang good dog.

Thank you very much. You're welcome.

Thank you for asking.

No matter what you and I ever do in our lives, Mr. Kelso,

neither of us will ever be as famous as Uga.

He's the university mascot of the Georgia bulldogs.

Is that right? Mm-hmm.

Now, I know I'm gonna regret asking this,

but that man said he was walking a dog?

Mm-hmm.

What dog?

Well, Mr. Glover was the law-firm Porter.

Mr. Bowen left instructions in his will

that Mr. Glover should continue to be paid

$15 every week for walking Patrick, his Labrador.

So... Where's Patrick?

Oh, Patrick went on to his great reward

about two years after Mr. Bowen, about 1974.

The dog's dead?

Mm-hmm, quite.

Why d-doesn't Mr. Glover walk Uga?

Well, then who'd walk Patrick?

I see.

There it is. This is your house?

Mm-hmm, built by general Hugh Mercer in 1860,

but he never lived in this house.

His great-grandson was Johnny Mercer.

The songwriter?

Mm-hmm, Savannah's own.

What's your favorite of his tunes?

Well, my mother was always partial to "fools rush in."

Your mother?

Yeah. Indeed.

Well, I would love to take you in and give you the grand tour,

but they're still settin' up for the party tonight.

I thought the party was tomorrow night.

Well, there are two parties.

Tonight is for bachelors... gentlemen only.

Would you like to come?

I'd like to cover it.

Oh, well, sorry, it's private.

Reporters aren't allowed.

Would you like to see my shop?

It's back here in the carriage house.

Sure.

Now, this house is one of the largest houses in Savannah.

It covers an entire block.

Jim: Right in here...

this is where we do all of our restorations.

This landscape... it's a stubbs.

Very good.

My father was a dealer.

It's called "Newmarket Heath, with a rubbing-down house."

It's a recent purchase

that I will unveil at tomorrow night's event.

It's an odd piece.

Yes, the impasto is interesting.

Where's your black light?

It's an overpaint.

Very good, sport.

Had it x-rayed yet?

Nope.

Then how will you know what it's obscuring?

Oh, I rather enjoy not knowing.

[ Horns honking, sirens wailing ]

Just a minute!

Who is it?

Woman: Mandy.

Who?

Mandy.

I don't believe I know a Mandy.

Well, of course not... you won't open the damn door.

Hi. Nice to meet ya.

Hi.

Y'all got some ice?

Sure, help yourself.

Joe Odom's fridge is on the blink,

and plus, at present, we don't have electricity.

Thirsty?

Me? No. No, not really.

Well...

If you're thirsty, a drink'll cure it,

and if you're not, a drink'll prevent it.

Prevention is better than a cure.

Put on some pants, John Kelso.

Sure, just let me get a pair.

Okay.

This is our newest addition to the Odom house.

Yeah?

And as you can see,

Joe's gettin' creative with our electrical dilemma.

Man: Anyway, we'll try the green wire.

Now, I've done this before, and I ain't been killed yet,

but there's a first time for everything.