Tinsel Town

And what the case here clearly needs is...

My daughter! He's got my daughter!

Judge, you're mistaken. The only need is me.

-This way! -No. This way.

Hey!

Where's her daughter?

Watch out! It's gonna blow!

Cut there.

Reset.

What are you doing?

You know me. I never do my own stunts.

Clarky boy. You're up.

Well, maybe if you worked out once in a while, Brad.

Some of the biggest stars do their own stunts.

Not this big star, but if you wanna

talk about it further over drinks?

Mm. Can my husband and two small children come too?

You're cute. I'll take a rain check.

-Alf. -Brad.

Wonderful work today.

It's A Killing Time 7's gonna be fresher than 4 and 5.

Well, thanks, buddy.

But I still have concerns over scene 22.

I think I'm coming off a little unlikeable

and the woman's really underwritten.

-Well, I may... -Not now, sugar.

You know what? I'm gonna sort that for you.

You're my man.

Stand by, everyone.

Good luck, Maggie.

It's Martha.

Who cares?

Hey.

I'm so sorry to ask, Mr Mac, but would you say it please?

The only need is me.

I'm going to miss these movies.

Miss?

What do you mean, miss?

I don't believe it. They don't wanna make Killing Time 8?

Still. You had a good run.

We only made seven films.

Each one better than the last.

You know, forget it. Fine.

What's next?

Listen, Brad, I'll level with you.

There is no next.

Er, the bottom line is people don't want to hire you.

What? Why? 'Cause I'm too expensive?

Er, because you're difficult.

You're late on set and you refuse to do your own stunts.

You don't remember names.

You failed your medicals.

Oh, my God. How many times do I have to say it?

It was the day after the Super Bowl.

When me and the boys get together, stuff goes down.

There's gotta be some kind of rom-com I can do.

Or a biopic.

We could use this as an opportunity

for me to really stretch.

With the right makeup artist,

I could play Barack Obama.

-Christ. -Yeah.

Probably still too young, huh?

Look, there is one thing knocking around.

What?

-Theatre in England. -In front of a live audience?

Exactly.

Well, it's something I've always wanted to do,

but you and I both know I only

ever took that one film acting class.

I mean, I might be a natural, but theatre kind of scares me.

-You, scared? -I've only ever done films.

Well, it's exactly the same. Just louder.

-Really? -Yeah.

Are you sure that's it?

Trust me.

Huh.

Louder.

-You know what? Count me in. -Great.

Now we are talking about a very traditional production,

but with your name

on the marquee, it'll sell out in seconds.

Me, a sell out!

You said it, kid, not me.

And doesn't your daughter live in England?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't get to see her as much any more.

Well, this is a chance to reconnect.

We're connected.

I just don't get to see her as much as I want to.

So. Theatre in England?

Yes!

You know what?

We're gonna show the whole world what Bradley Mac can do.

Because when push comes to shove,

the only need is me.

Oh, Jesus.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Would you like to have a look at the menu, sir?

I'm sorry to disturb you, but we've been

watching you the whole flight.

My husband and I...

We're just huge fans of the Killing Time movies.

Thank you. That's very kind.

It's so inspiring to see a man of your age

still throw themselves around.

In all fairness, I like the first one much more than

the last one, but who cares?

-They're fun! -Yeah.

What kind of woman doesn't love a cuddly older man?

-Chocolate chip cookie? -No. I'm good, thanks.

Have a good flight.

Hello, Mr Mac.

Hi.

Hi again. I'm just in the limo.

-Rented, but still a limo. -Where are you?

No, I'm outside.

I've got a sign. You won't miss me.

Where outside?

Just outside arrivals, mate.

Mr Mac, I'm Nigel Brand. Here to take you to the Savoy.

The Savoy again.

I gotta say, I'm a huge fan.

I just loved Top Gun.

Oh, heated seats as requested.

Oh, and here's your natural volcanic water, sir.

Thank you.

And on your left, Mr Mac, you're going to see...

Mr Mac?

All right. Mr Mac.

Mr Mac.

Mr Mac, we're here.

What are you talking about?

Where's Big Ben?

Harrods? Downton Abbey?

Nah, we missed all that, sleepyhead,

but welcome, Mr Mac, to the Savoy.

Now there is currently no running water,

but you don't mind skipping a shower day, do you?

-Is this some kind of a joke? -Is what a joke?

Where the hell's London?

Well, it's three hours that way, sir.

You are good, my friend.

So this is some kind of hidden camera show.

I got it from here.

Hey, Jimmy Kimmel, come out from wherever you're hiding, dude.

Yeah. Erm, this is your hotel, Mr Mac.

All the big turns stay at the Savoy Guest House

when they're performing at Stoneford's Theatre Royal.

Yeah. I'll show you.

Fine. I'll play along.

-Wow. -What the...

There he is!

Get him! Get him!

[children calling out in excitement]

Excuse me. Hello.

Darling, Brad, here you are at last.

-Welcome to Stoneford, - Welcome to Stoneford.

He's even more gorgeous in the flesh.

I'm Callum. The Prince. Massive fan, mate.

The only need is... yeah.

Yeah.

Not exactly sure what's going on here,

but obviously there's

-been some kind of... -Brenda. Fairy godmother.

Izzy, Cinderella.

-Fanny. -And Annie.

-We're the ugly stepsisters. -We do it every Christmas.

-Yeah, and on birthdays. -Oh, you are filthy!

Bababa, Bababa. Russell. Baron Hardup.

Hilda from box office.

Jean the cleaner.