Based on a True Story

So how'd it go?

He was actually kind of nice.

See, I told you it would go well.

Second date Friday!

Ah, that's why you're working out at 11:00 at night.

Um, okay, talk tomorrow.

- Okay, I love you. - Love you.

- Bye. - Bye.

Okay.

What's up? What's up, guys?

Welcome back to Exoglass Studios.

It's your girl, Roxie, and I'm here

with your 30-minute hip workout.

But that's enough talking.

Let's get right into it with some jumping jacks.

Here we go. And one, two.

Get those arms all the way up overhead.

You got this. We're just getting started.

And three. Right into butt kicks.

Two. Last one.

Butt kick.

I'm bringing my heels all the way to my booty.

You're doing great.

Go ahead and add in those arms.

Good. Squat nice and low.

Kill those squats. Hold it here and pulse.

Four, three, we're going into fasties,

two, almost there.

Four, three, two, one more, and release.

Come on, I know it's hurting, but it hurts so good.

Whew, you are gonna feel that in the morning.

And we're not done yet. Now, let's run it out.

Hustle, hustle, hustle.

And Nathan Bartlett steps up to serve.

It's match point for the biggest win of his career.

Let's see if he's got the eye of the tiger.

Forehand down the line. Winner!

Nathan Bartlett takes out

world number one Roger Federer 6-4, 6-2.

Little slow there, Roger.

What a gutsy, never-say-die win.

Could Bartlett be America's next top ten player?

Based on the patterns we discovered,

we fear the Westside Ripper will strike again soon.

Do we have to wake up to murder every morning?

They're talking about that serial killer

that's basically in our back yard.

It is so exciting.

Shouldn't we be playing "Baby Mozart" or something?

The signs are up. The flyers are out.

I'm baking cookies like a fucking Keebler elf.

- This house is gonna move fast. - It better.

The sellers are losing their patience.

All right, I got this, Paul.

- Ow, shit, that's hot. - Obviously.

I just took them out. Are those are my pants?

Well, it's not like you're gonna be wearing them anymore.

- Ugh. - Love you.

- Morning. - Morning.

The cookies are awesome.

I used to have an ass like that.

You still have an ass like that.

And my sister is having so much more sex

- than I ever did. - Really?

- Yeah. - Speak for yourself.

- Oh, excuse me? - I did really good.

Don't forget the pizza.

I found both victims lying beside each other.

The killer had dismembered the bodies.

Detective Hardwick of the Chicago Homicide Division

was the first to arrive at the horrific scene.

He cut off the arms, the hands, the legs,

the heads, everything.

Then he put the bodies back together,

except for one small detail.

He swapped the heads.

- Hey, excuse me. - Hi.

Has the open house started yet?

Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, of course.

I'm Ava. You can go and head in.

I'll be right behind you.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Okay. Wow.

Edgeless pool and spa, facing south,

so you know you get the sun all day.

Huge barbecue area.

I mean, it's your own private resort

back here, right?

So you've got the one bedroom downstairs and four upstairs.

It's about 5,000 square feet.

Have you been doing this long?

- Real estate? - Mm-hmm.

Like five years.

Do you enjoy it?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.

Actually, I mean, when you meet a couple that, you know,

finds their dream house, a place where

they wanna raise their family, it's a really sweet moment.

- Love the view. - Hmm?

- The view? - Mm.

- Yeah. - Yeah, it's a g--

What's up, Jim? Ladies, good morning.

Tess, you gotta turn your shoulders more.

- There it is. - Thanks, Coach.

- Hi. - Oh, hey.

You gotta try the yellowtail. Herb's new menu is amazing.

- Can we talk for a moment? - Oh, yeah.

So what do you think?

Yeah, it's-- it's not quite what I'm after.

Okay.

Management wants to make a change.

What kind of change?

They want a new director of tennis.

Wait, what? Am I being fired?

Well, more like demoted.

I've been here for 17 years.

Yes, I think that's part of the issue.

Wait, Michelle, I--

I--I helped build this club.

There was 200 members here when I first arrived.

You don't have any other Palisades listings, do you?

No, no, not this week, so--

But I did see you had a few listings in Palms

for one-bedroom apartments.

- Yeah. - Mason's taking over.

- Mason? - Yeah.

The new guy? He's 25 years old.

- 24. - He is?

Yeah, but his Cardio and Cocktails, killing it.

Watch it all the way.

- Come on, Amy. - Oh.

Ooh, missed a shot and take a shot.

- Come on, meet me here. - That's not tennis.

Okay.

Yeah, but stay-at-home moms love him.

They don't love him. They're drunk.

I'm thinking you're stuck in the low-end market.

You can't get out, and your boss gave you

this listing as a favor.

Well, you gotta start somewhere, right?

You know I'm gonna be a dad soon, right?

- I have a family too. - I know you do.

You have a beautiful family.

And that's why Mason's in and you're moving to red ball.

- Red ball? - I'm sorry.

- That's for five-year-olds. - Yeah, I'm sorry.

Hey, bad news, no offers on the house.

Oh, fantastic.

I just got fired.

What? Are you serious?

Well, demoted.

- I think the toilet's broken. - Wait a minute, what happened?

I lost my power base.

All the moms moved over to Mason--

- Cardio and Cocktail. - Mason, that young one?

- That new hot coach over there? - Okay, take it easy.

- He's not that hot. - This is bullshit.

After everything you've done for that place?

Yeah, I'm on commission-- red ball.

The five-year-olds?

Guys, hey, I need some help, like, now.

Ugh, what?

What the fuck is going on, Tory?

Oh, oh!

I don't know what to do!

- What happened? - I don't know.

- It just started overflowing. - No!

Oh, no.

Right this way.

I've got quite a treat for you here--

our flagship product, the Toto Aquia.

Ooh.

Automatic lid, air dry, heated seat,

bidet, and a unique glazed throat

that eliminates debris.

Oh, that sounds, uh, great, but do you have any toilets?

I think he-- it's probably a little

out of our price range.

- It's $4,000. - Ooh.

Yeah, do you have one that you could

just sit on and go poop?

- Oh, my God. - Is that available?

- Are you serious? - What?

Yeah, money's tight.

We're gonna be fine. I have plans.

You'll see.

We're all gonna be living in a Malibu beach house

in no time, trust me.

Is it the tennis academy that you've been

talking about for years?

Because I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.

No, actually, it's a tennis podcast, right?

I talk about my time on the tour,

the ups, the downs.

I think people will really like it.

What do you think?

Okay, I don't think anyone wants to listen

to a podcast about tennis. I'm sorry, I don't.

But you know what they do wanna listen to?

Murder.