The Substitute

What is up, Nickelodeon?

It's me, Juanpa Zurita

Chloe, take a bite. - Ew!

I am the host of the craziest hidden camera show

in Nickelodeon's history.

Gross.

Welcome to a brand new episode

of "The Substitute."

Ew!

Whoo. Can you smell it?

Every episode, I invite

one of your favorite celebrities to become

the weirdest substitutes you have ever seen.

They get fully transformed

by my makeup and special effects masters,

then my expert prank team hides cameras

and microphones everywhere,

and all of this to give unsuspecting groups of kids

a surprise experience of a lifetime.

Today's substitute is 10-time NBA All-Star,

Chris Paul!

Chris's skills on the court are legendary,

but now he's taking his skills to a completely new arena

when he pranks three groups of kids

in an outdoor classroom,

at Wilder's Prep in Inglewood, California.

It's creativity. Time to open your mind.

Open your mind.

Get ready for something completely wild...

Whoa!

And absolutely unpredictable...

How are you so good at basketball?

Because this is "The Substitute."

Juanpa, but what's happening.

What's up, Chris? Good morning.

I know it's pretty early, but you know we gotta

get a jump on these kids.

I have no problem getting up early.

Well, then you're gonna be working out your funny bone,

my guy, because we're taking you

to Wilder's prep Academy in Inglewood, California.

This should be a lot of fun today. I can't wait.

How were you in school?

Did you mess with your teachers?

Yeah, especially substitute teachers.

I was always sort of a jokester in the class

and I pranked people all the time.

That's amazing.

But I've never gone fully undercover.

We got a lot planned for you.

This is gonna be so much fun.

All right, Juanpa,

say goodbye to Chris Paul,

say hello to the substitute.

Game time.

Yeah, do I get to pick my own nose?

I'm not gonna pick your nose.

This is usually what my face looks like

during the offseason.

Like I got stung by a bee.

It's my mama. Mama.

This is crazy.

For this first character, Chris is gonna be

playing a former astronaut

teaching a class about photography,

But his stuffed animal assistant

might become a little bit of a problem.

Now that Chris is completely disguised,

it's time to meet with the principle of Wilder's Prep,

to get the download on this first group of kids.

You look amazing.

Man, well, I'm ready.

So this first character that I'm playing today

goes by the name of Chuck Barksdale,

former astronaut turned photographer.

Brisket is actually my emotional support dog.

Pleasure to meet you, Brisket.

So what can you tell me

about this first group of kids?

That's Nicholas. He's a huge sports fan.

And that's Drew in the yellow shirt.

He's always a fun guy.

Faye is gonna be your talkative one.

All right.

They're ready for you. - All right, I'ma take off.

Okay, Chris let's get the party started.

How y'all doin'?

Hello, students. - Hello.

My name is Chuck Barksdale. - What?

Yeah, former astronaut...

Photographer. - My gosh.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes, you... I'm a legend.

I would like to be an astronaut.

Well, you guys have one with you today.

So I was one of the very first photographers

to ever shoot in space.

This is Brisket.

Brisket is my emotional support dog.

Brisket's really excited right now.

Isn't that right, girl?

Stay. Brisket, stay.

What's your question? - Do you know that's just

a stuffed animal? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It looks like... - It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, Brisket.

Don't worry about it, Brisket.

Talk about the pictures you've taken in space.

Anybody got a guess at what we're gonna be doing today?

We're gonna be doing still life photography.

Would anyone like to see some of my photos from space?

Yes, yes, yes. - Here's the first picture.

What? - Can't see anything?

Do you guys know what that is?

What is it?

That is exactly wrong.

This is a piece of lint

that was actually on my shutter.

What?

We're about to learn a little bit

about still life photography.

What? - What's your name?

Andrew. - Pick a few items.

These are gonna be items that you guys are gonna use

for your still life sets.

Drew, you want a little bit everything, huh?

Banana.

Okay, Drew. - I love eggs.

You know who else likes eggs?

Brisket? - Brisket.

Okay, now bark.

You let them eggs get near Brisket, guess what?

They're gonna be gone!

He's gonna get it. You got it?

I'm just scanning it because my dad likes...

Your dad likes apples?

You know who hate apples, Faye?

Brisket? - Me.

What?

I hate apples.

You know what the apples do to me?

What? - They make me gassy.

When I get gassy, whoo.

It'll blow you away.

Sometimes when I'm cuddling in bed with Brisket,

she'll even let one out.

So one at a time,

we're gonna start taking photos. Okay?

Faye, please bring your still life items.

I'm gonna teach you guys a professional photography trick.

You ready?

Auto settings.

Auto settings, Faye.

Look through that, and then just hit right here.

Get it going.

Nice!

Put brisket in the shot.

You know what I think we need?

Brisket?

Let's see. Stay, Brisket, stay.

Brisket, hey... Brisket...

Good girl, good girl.

Go and sit down, Faye.

Yes, Brisket. It's perfect.

Thank you so much, Faye.

Adriana, you ready?

Can you talk to Brisket just a little bit?

Hi. - She kinda thinks

you don't like her.

See, she's sweet.

Brisket, I told you Adriana's cool.

Go ahead, keep taking your pictures.

Nice.

Did... did you want Brisket in or out?

Okay.

She's in the center.

Brisket, calm down.

Calm down.

Calm down, Brisket.

I think Brisket needs a time out.

Calm down.

Brisket, I will put you in your kennel.

Adriana, can you open up the cage for me?

Thank you, thank you.

Stop. Stop.

You... you sit down. I don't want Brisket to get out of hand.

Brisket... what time is? Is it, like, 11:00?

She might need her green juice.

This is green juice.

That's nasty.

So look, sometimes Brisket gets a little cranky,

gets exactly like a little diva.

Is that pickle juice?

No, it is not pickle juice.

No! - Vegetables.

But it's whose favorite? - Brisket.

All right, so look, everyone, at the same time, real quick,

Brisket, Brisket... - Brisket.

Louder. Louder! - Brisket, Brisket.

Throw it on Brisket. - Louder!