The Eric Andre Show

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"! >>

"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"! >>

>>

>> OW! OHH!

>> OW! OHH! >>

OHH! OW!

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. >>

NO. NO. NO. NO. >> >>

>> >> >>

>> >>

>>

>> >> THAT'S ALL I HAD PLANNED FOR

>> >> THAT'S ALL I HAD PLANNED FOR THE SHOW.

>> THAT'S ALL I HAD PLANNED FOR THE SHOW. SHOULD I, UH -- RIGHT.

THE SHOW. SHOULD I, UH -- RIGHT. >> MONOLOGUE, MAN.

SHOULD I, UH -- RIGHT. >> MONOLOGUE, MAN.

>> MONOLOGUE, MAN. >> WHOA!

>> WHOA! >> HEY, HANNIBAL, DID YOU HEAR

>> WHOA! >> HEY, HANNIBAL, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

>> HEY, HANNIBAL, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? >> ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT THIS? >> ABOUT WHAT? >> About this...

>> ABOUT WHAT? >> About this... About this...

>> About this... About this...

About this...

About this...

About this...

About this... >> HEY, HANNIBAL.

>> HEY, HANNIBAL. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

>> HEY, HANNIBAL. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? >>

YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? >>

>> >> HEY, HANNIBAL.

>> HEY, HANNIBAL. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

>> HEY, HANNIBAL. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? HEY, HANNIBAL, YOU HEAR ABOUT

YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? HEY, HANNIBAL, YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

HEY, HANNIBAL, YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

THIS? YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? HEY, HANNIBAL.

HEY, HANNIBAL.

HEY, HANNIBAL. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

>> WHO WANTS A DRINK? YOU WANT A DRINK? YOU WANT A DRINK?

YOU WANT A DRINK? YOU WANT A DRINK? YOU WANT A BEER?

YOU WANT A DRINK? YOU WANT A BEER? YOU WANT ANYTHING?

YOU WANT A BEER? YOU WANT ANYTHING? COMING UP.

YOU WANT ANYTHING? COMING UP. DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

COMING UP. DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? WANT SOME OF THIS?

DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? WANT SOME OF THIS?

WANT SOME OF THIS? >> WHOA!

>> WHOA! >> WHAT DO YOU NEED?

>> WHOA! >> WHAT DO YOU NEED? WHAT DO YOU NEED?

>> WHAT DO YOU NEED? WHAT DO YOU NEED?

WHAT DO YOU NEED? OH

OH >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

OH >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! OH, WHOA, WHOA!

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! OH, WHOA, WHOA! WHAT THE

OH, WHOA, WHOA! WHAT THE >>

WHAT THE >> GOT IT. COMING UP.

>> GOT IT. COMING UP.

GOT IT. COMING UP. >> About this...

>> About this...

>> About this... >> ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL RIGHT. UH, JOEY FATONE.

>> WHAT'S UP, MAN? HOW YOU BEEN? >> GOOD.

HOW YOU BEEN? >> GOOD. >> YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

>> GOOD. >> YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

>> YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU DO

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU DO THAT I'M NOT DOING?

WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU DO THAT I'M NOT DOING? YOU HIT THE ELLIPTICAL OR WHAT?

THAT I'M NOT DOING? YOU HIT THE ELLIPTICAL OR WHAT? >> IT'S A GIRDLE I'M WEARING.

YOU HIT THE ELLIPTICAL OR WHAT? >> IT'S A GIRDLE I'M WEARING.

>> IT'S A GIRDLE I'M WEARING. >> YO.

>> YO. >> CHECK THAT OUT.

>> YO. >> CHECK THAT OUT. THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE.

>> CHECK THAT OUT. THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE. >> MMM!

THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE. >> MMM! >> OH. THANK YOU, SIR.

>> MMM! >> OH. THANK YOU, SIR. APPRECIATE IT.

>> OH. THANK YOU, SIR. APPRECIATE IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

APPRECIATE IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> I'M LOVING THIS.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> I'M LOVING THIS. >> THANK YOU.

>> I'M LOVING THIS. >> THANK YOU. >>

>> THANK YOU. >> >> ALL RIGHT.

>> >> ALL RIGHT. >> THAT'S GOOD STUFF RIGHT

>> ALL RIGHT. >> THAT'S GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE.

>> THAT'S GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE. >> SO, LET ME TALK ABOUT THE

THERE. >> SO, LET ME TALK ABOUT THE CRAZIEST GROUPIE EXPERIENCE

>> SO, LET ME TALK ABOUT THE CRAZIEST GROUPIE EXPERIENCE YOU EVER HAD.

CRAZIEST GROUPIE EXPERIENCE YOU EVER HAD. >> ONE WAS, UH, PRETTY

YOU EVER HAD. >> ONE WAS, UH, PRETTY INTERESTING, WHERE WE'VE HAD

>> ONE WAS, UH, PRETTY INTERESTING, WHERE WE'VE HAD SOME WOMEN -- HI, HOW YOU DOING?

INTERESTING, WHERE WE'VE HAD SOME WOMEN -- HI, HOW YOU DOING? >> HI. HOW ARE YOU?

SOME WOMEN -- HI, HOW YOU DOING? >> HI. HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M -- I'M GOOD.

>> HI. HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M -- I'M GOOD. UM, THE CRAZIEST THING THAT WE

>> I'M -- I'M GOOD. UM, THE CRAZIEST THING THAT WE EVER HAD -- THERE WAS ONE TIME

UM, THE CRAZIEST THING THAT WE EVER HAD -- THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE WE WERE AT A HOTEL, AND

EVER HAD -- THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE WE WERE AT A HOTEL, AND THERE WAS A CART WITH ALL FOOD

WHERE WE WERE AT A HOTEL, AND THERE WAS A CART WITH ALL FOOD ON TOP OF IT, AND THE GIRLS WERE

THERE WAS A CART WITH ALL FOOD ON TOP OF IT, AND THE GIRLS WERE HIDING UNDERNEATH IT TO SEE IF

ON TOP OF IT, AND THE GIRLS WERE HIDING UNDERNEATH IT TO SEE IF THEY COULD IN THE ROOM.

HIDING UNDERNEATH IT TO SEE IF THEY COULD IN THE ROOM.

THEY COULD IN THE ROOM. IT'S PRETTY CRAZY. YEAH.

IT'S PRETTY CRAZY. YEAH. >> YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN.

IT'S PRETTY CRAZY. YEAH. >> YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN. >> MM-HMM.

>> YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN. >> MM-HMM. >> YOU EVER GO DOWN TO THE

>> MM-HMM. >> YOU EVER GO DOWN TO THE VERRAZANO BRIDGE AND JUST TAP

>> YOU EVER GO DOWN TO THE VERRAZANO BRIDGE AND JUST TAP DANCE ON A LITTLE BEEFCAKE?

VERRAZANO BRIDGE AND JUST TAP DANCE ON A LITTLE BEEFCAKE? >> MM-HMM.

DANCE ON A LITTLE BEEFCAKE? >> MM-HMM. >> OH.

>> MM-HMM. >> OH. >> MM-HMM.

>> OH. >> MM-HMM.

>> MM-HMM.

>>

>>

>> HEY, YOU EVER, LIKE, UM, SPRAY A

HEY, YOU EVER, LIKE, UM, SPRAY A LITTLE DNA ON LANCE BASS' TRAMP

HEY, YOU EVER, LIKE, UM, SPRAY A LITTLE DNA ON LANCE BASS' TRAMP STAMP JUST TO FEEL ALIVE?

LITTLE DNA ON LANCE BASS' TRAMP STAMP JUST TO FEEL ALIVE?

STAMP JUST TO FEEL ALIVE? >> I WAS ON A WEBSITE --

>> I WAS ON A WEBSITE -- celebritynetworth.

>> I WAS ON A WEBSITE -- celebritynetworth. >> MM-HMM.

celebritynetworth. >> MM-HMM. >> AND IT SAYS THAT YOURS IS

>> MM-HMM. >> AND IT SAYS THAT YOURS IS $14 MILLION.

>> AND IT SAYS THAT YOURS IS $14 MILLION. >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE

$14 MILLION. >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUD.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUD. >> HA HA HA.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUD. >> HA HA HA. >> YOU'RE IN A SH-- IN A BAND?

>> HA HA HA. >> YOU'RE IN A SH-- IN A BAND? A SHOW?

>> YOU'RE IN A SH-- IN A BAND? A SHOW? >> WRONG!

A SHOW? >> WRONG! I WAS IN A BAND -- NOT ANYMORE.

>> WRONG! I WAS IN A BAND -- NOT ANYMORE. >> YEAH.

I WAS IN A BAND -- NOT ANYMORE. >> YEAH. >> YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> YEAH. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE IT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE IT. >> YEAH.

I APPRECIATE IT. >> YEAH. >> THIS GUEST IS TERRIBLE.

>> YEAH. >> THIS GUEST IS TERRIBLE.

>> THIS GUEST IS TERRIBLE. >> YOU KNOW, UH, THANK YOU SO

>> YOU KNOW, UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW.

>> YOU KNOW, UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW.

MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW. OH.

YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL? >> I'M SORRY.

HOSPITAL? >> I'M SORRY. >> HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO

>> I'M SORRY. >> HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL?

>> HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL? >> NO.

THE HOSPITAL? >> NO. >> REALLY?

>> NO. >> REALLY?

>> REALLY? REALLY? HEY.

REALLY? HEY. IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE

REALLY? HEY. IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE SEGMENTS, "HANNIBAL'S HANDS."

>> >> DADDY NEEDS HIS JUICE.

>> DADDY NEEDS HIS JUICE. OH, THAT'S A SWEET-ASS RIDE,

>> DADDY NEEDS HIS JUICE. OH, THAT'S A SWEET-ASS RIDE, MAN!

HEY, MAN, YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE SQUIRT? OF GAS.

WHAT ABOUT THE SWEET DRIPPINGS THAT COME OFF IT? OH, OKAY.

THAT COME OFF IT? OH, OKAY. HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GET A

OH, OKAY. HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE SQUIRT?

HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE SQUIRT? I JUST WANT A LITTLE SQUIRT.

LITTLE SQUIRT? I JUST WANT A LITTLE SQUIRT. A LITTLE SQUIRT.

I JUST WANT A LITTLE SQUIRT. A LITTLE SQUIRT. JUST A LITTLE.

A LITTLE SQUIRT. JUST A LITTLE. THANK YOU. THAT'S PERFECT.

JUST A LITTLE. THANK YOU. THAT'S PERFECT. OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU. THAT'S PERFECT. OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HEY, I GOT MY SQUIRT.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HEY, I GOT MY SQUIRT. I GOT A LITTLE SQUIRT.

HEY, I GOT MY SQUIRT. I GOT A LITTLE SQUIRT. A LITTLE SQUIRT.

YOU THINK I CAN GET A LITTLE SQUIRT OF GAS? SQUIRT OF GAS?

GET A LITTLE SQUIRT OF GAS? SQUIRT OF GAS? I JUST LOVE

SQUIRT OF GAS? I JUST LOVE THAT SWEET, SWEET TASTE.

I JUST LOVE THAT SWEET, SWEET TASTE.

THAT SWEET, SWEET TASTE. I'M A BIT OF A FANATIC.

I'M A BIT OF A FANATIC.

I'M A BIT OF A FANATIC.

MMM!

MMM! I NOTICED YOU WERE PUMPING GAS.

MMM! I NOTICED YOU WERE PUMPING GAS. YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE

I NOTICED YOU WERE PUMPING GAS. YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE SQUIRT OF IT?

YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE SQUIRT OF IT? I DRINK THE STUFF. I LIVE IT UP.