Skins

Hello,

I'm Thomas.

I'm so glad to meet you

Mum' ?

I'm Freddie. I met a girl I like today. She's beautiful.

I just wanted to kiss you. - I want to kiss you now.

You're amazing.

Any of you girls fancy it ?

You're repulsive.

Go on, fuck off home !

I'm never going to a brothel with you again.

Transcript : Chocolate

DADA

Subtitles by anti tele ii

# Oh God now when's the time

# For me, oh

# When will you see me through?

# Oh God my mind is eating

# My heart out

# Oh God my heart is beating

# My mind up #

Please, come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Hi, I made tea. - Huh? Oh!

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you.

It's OK, Anthea.

Um... What are you doing?

Oh, you know... Just, er, just looking.

Right.

Whizzer.

Eff's a bit out of it.

She's beautiful.

Not like me.

Oh? Seems like somebody likes you!

My boyfriend gave it to me.

I only knew him three days.

Thomas. Now he's gone.

But it was fun while it lasted, hmm?

So much fun...

Yeah, it's called love.

That's a big word ! - I dunno,

Four letters is ... Oh.

But I'm sure it is love :

All you want to do is kiss them and,

you know, other stuff.

Brilliant stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, brilliant stuff.

Maybe this Thomas will hop on a train and come back to see you.

You can't get a train from the Congo. - Congo ?

Yeah, it's a Democratic Republic,

located on the Equator, bordering Gabon and Cameroon.

Yeah, I remember now.

I really miss him.

You think love conquers all, Anthea?

I hope so, sweetie.

Why don't you wake up the sleeping beauty

and tell her we have something called "breakfast" in our country?

After that we had to get out mega-speedily,

so we climbed over some spiky fence, and then found ourselves in this field.

Then what did we do, Eff? - Can't remember.

We either went to the park to find the boys

and then got chips, or the other way round. Which was it, Eff?

Chips. - Oh, yeah.

Super cool. Brown sauce soaks up all the Red Bulls.

And then we went crazy, cos' Cook pulled down JJ's pants

and showed us his willy.

Morning, Mum. Yeah, thanks.

Super duper great night at the youth centre.

I made soup, we prayed and recycled socks.

Soup. For the homeless, they love soup.

Um, cream of mushroom...

Okey-doke. Effy says, "Howdy doody."

See you later, alligator.

Did you just ...

That was a pack of lies.

Oh, you can't tell my mum the truth.

She'd only do agony flip and go ra-ra.

Is she speaking English?

She means the truth hurts, Dad. It's for her own good.

Otherwise, truth...

Boom.

You all right, love ? - Yeah, I just, erm, I just gotta, er...

Stop it. - You stop it.

Is someone going to start speaking a language round here

I fucking understand ?

Steve, mate ! Am I driving today ?

No.

You're doing the International Webcam and Hard Drive Expo in Poole.

You don't want to miss that.

I can't do it. - Jesus !

You should have told me,

I fucking love those hard drive events.

Jim, who are you talking ... - I need you.

OK, I'll get the car keys. Get you to Poole in no time.

For fuck's sake, I love you!

When are you fucking going to understand that?

Steve,

Mate, I'm... I'm married.

I'm straight.

Don't do dick, no way no how, but, you know...

I mean, c'est la vie. - I can't stand it, Anthea!

Each to their... own. - I told you ! - It's too late !

Wallop!

Bitch ! Bitch !

Bitch ! Bitch !

You don't understand ! Jim, please !

Listen ! - All those weekends !

Those bendy fucking yoga weekends in Dartmouth !

Jim, please !

Oh, you were bending all right, weren't you ?

In all the right fucking places ! - Oh please, Jim...

Just let me...

I just want to explain to you.

You've done enough explaining, haven't you?

Jim, I'm sorry. - I love you.

Please, don't leave me down.

What a mess.

They fuck you up !

They don't mean to, Eff.

But they do.

Effy!

Not now, Mum. Effy!

Bugger it, Eff.

You can't half leg it.

And I've got cross-country badge!

Do you think your mum and funny beard have been, you know...

making monkey ?

Yes, Pandora. They've been making monkey.

Wow ! Surfed and turfed ?

Yup.

Eff. Eff, don't cry.

Does this mean you're not coming to my pyjama party ?

I'm not crying.

Right. But my party ?

Sure. Why not ? Let's get totally, totally fucked.

Um, yeah, that's the thing. My mum's gonna be there,

and we're gonna put on pyjamas and play Twister.

It's brilliant fun, more fun than getting fucked.

Probably. And then you're all going to tell me how to do it with Tommo

because basically, I haven't got a clue.

Pandora, why are we friends ? Do you ever wonder ?

Well, that's super easy. You're my pal because you're the coolest ever,

and I'm yours because I'll totally do anything you say

and none of your boyfriends ever want to surf me cos' I'm useless.

That's it ? - Yeah.

Come on,

Let's get hot chocolates. - Cool.

Effy ! Hey !

Oh, shit !

I've been ringing you loads!

You know Danny, he plays for the Bristol Rovers Reserves, yeah ?

Yes, nice one, tasty.

This is my new best friend, Effy.

Cool tits, yeah ?

Sorry ?

Nice jugglies, babe. Perky. - Danny !

He doesn't mean it,

Do you, babes ? - Fuckin' right I do !

Yeah ! - And I'm Pandora.

OK. Hey kid, you should come up the ground, watch the lads train, yeah ?

Cos' after, we get some Lambrinis in, we go lucky in the showers ?

He's joking, right ? - Um, yeah. Right.

Anyway. Can't wait for this party tonight !

I've got a shitload of weed and pills.

Weeds ? Um, no... - Cool.

Yeah man. Way safe.

Orgy !

You're not coming. It's girls only. Right ?

Yeah.

We're gonna tell secrets and get intimate, no boys.

Intimate ?!

Yes. Nice one ! Take photos, babe !

So I've got Flying Saucepans and Love Fountains.

Woo! We're gonna fry ! - But, we're doing Twister.

Cool. You can snort that, right ?

Not exactly. - Love Fountains are mint !

Mum's making brownies.

You OK ?

She's upset because her mum's been making monkey and her dad's gone ape.

Huh ?

Bananas ! Cos Beardy Steve's been making her do the Funky Gibbon and...

I've boobed, haven't I ? - Yes !

Me loves the Funky Gibbon !

Danny ! - Yeah ?

You're gonna fuck off ? We need girl time.

Yeah ? - Practice your ball skills, babe.

I'll do that keepy-uppy thing later, remember ?

Oh, yeah !

Cool !

Mum's done the signal.

So everybody knows where my party is.

How many people did you invite ?

Um. Four. You, Eff, Emily and Naomi.

Naomi ? Why did you invite her ?

Em's says I have to or she won't come.