Patrick Melrose

Hello.

Hello?

Patrick?

Hello, Patrick, is that you?

Nicholas?

Patrick, I'm afraid I have rather bad news.

Hello?

Hello, Patrick, can you hear me?

I'm in New York.

There appears to be a delay.

- Can you hear me? - Yes.

I-It concerns your father.

I can hear you. I'm here.

Your father died the night before last, in his hotel room.

It must come as an awful shock to you.

Something like that, yes.

I hardly need to tell you how I feel.

I adored your father. Everybody liked him.

I know he wasn't always the easiest of men.

Are you there, Patrick?

Yes, I'm here. Where is he now?

David?

He's at Frank E. MacDonald's, the funeral people on Madison.

Everyone goes there.

"Only the best or go without," as your father would have said.

If you want to see him and collect the ashes...

- Do you have much on? - Not at this exact moment, no.

Then we must meet up.

Why don't we meet at the Key Club?

George Watford's here.

We'll raise a glass to your father's extraordinary life.

Well, until then,

I-I'm sorry to be the bearer of such sad tidings.

Yes, it's...

...a great blow.

Goodbye.

Old bastard's only gone and died.

How did he die?

I forgot to ask. I was too dizzy with glee.

I'm sorry, I mean dazed with grief.

Mm-hmm.

I wonder, could you please stop fiddling with my hair?

I need a drink.

A serious drink.

Let's celebrate.

We could go out for a glass of wine.

Or... You're probably not interested,

but we have been invited

to Gregory and Rebecca's for dinner.

"Suffering's what takes place when other people are eating."

Who said that? I'm sorry.

I'm feeling a bit mad at the moment.

It was a complicated relationship.

There's a lot to think about.

Yes, I'm not sure the heroin's helping either.

Do you think that was a good idea?

Of course it wasn't a good idea!

I merely meant that perhaps

this might be a good time to make a change,

start afresh.

Well, I'd better leave before you start to tell me

to seize the fucking day.

Do you think, now that he's dead,

that you could be a little less like him?

Unlikely. I'll merely have to do the work of two.

Debbie, I'm sorry. I'm not fit for human company.

Don't go. Stay.

- Come back to bed. - I can't.

You know, I heard it said somewhere

that grief was meant to be an aphrodisiac.

Do you think that might be true?

Ha! You wish.

How's your mother taking it?

She's working with Save the Children in Chad.

No one can break the news.

- Always thinking of others. - Indeed.

- What's that? - Valium.

That's more like it.

By the way, I think I'm going to give up drugs.

You don't think I can?

- I'm a little skeptical. - I've done it before.

Exactly! What's so different this time?

You're hardly the rehab type.

And besides, you like it too much.

Addicts don't give up until they hit rock bottom,

and you never will.

- You're too upholstered. - Well, you're wrong.

I'm gonna get it right this time.

Well, good for you, Patrick!

Cocaine and heroin at least.

Don't want to run before I can walk.

To which end, have you got any more Valium?

- Help me wean myself off. - Sorry, last one.

Please don't take this the wrong way,

but does this mean you're now fantastically rich?

No. My mummy's the one with all the money,

and she's very healthy.

"And the sun shone, having no alternative."

Well, it's time to seize the fucking day.

Goodbye.

And goodbye.

And goodbye, heroin, my old friend.

People make far too big a deal about getting clean.

On the other hand, air travel can be very stressful.

- Well, good luck. - Hmm.

Don't score off the streets.

I'm not going to score off anywhere.

Seriously, Johnny.

Look, you must do whatever you want,

but if I'm to take control of my life, it has to be now.

This is one of the most important things

to have ever happened to me,

and I want to get it absolutely right.

I wish I had your determination.

Thank you for the lift.

As on so many other occasions,

I wouldn't have made it without you.

It's a pleasure. I'll see you back here in two days' time

a new man.

An entirely new man.

Will all passengers recently arrived

from London Heathrow

please make your way to the baggage claim...

"Dead, long dead.

Long dead! And my heart is a handful of dust."

And something... something else.

Oh, for Christ's sake, cheer up.

Think happy thoughts.

Remember why you're here.

You're here to collect your father's corpse.

Mm, Valium's wearing off.

Feeling just a little twitchy now.

Hold on.

Just hold on.

Queasy, nervous, maggots under the skin,

a litter of drowning kittens in my stomach.

Fuck off!

Look, can you take another route?

I really, really need to get to my hotel.

Here.

Mr. Melrose! Good to see you again.

Your usual suite is ready.

And a message for you.

Always eloquent.

Could you please send up a bottle of whiskey

and a very great deal of ice immediately?

Of course.

This is the lift. Here are the buttons.

You're on the 33rd floor.

33!

Christ, talk about temptation.

Beg pardon, sir?

Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself.

This is the hallway.

Here is your room. 3318.

This is your key.

It works!

Here we go. You know the drill.

Another withdrawal in a foreign hotel room.

Bathroom light.

Here's your TV. Turn it on here.

And this is how you change channels.

Yes, I have used a television before.

Paranoia, cramps, suicidal thoughts.

Thank you.

Still, at least it's the last time.

Or among the last times.

Not this time. This time it's different.

No prisoners.

Concentration like a flamethrower.

New day, new beginning.

The trick is not to think about it.

How can you not think about it?

It's like not wanting to get out of a wheelchair

when the room's on fire.

Oh, God.

For the best heroin in town,

simply call Pierre, 555-1726.

That's Pierre, 555-1726.

Don't think about it.

Patrick!

Yes, Nanny?

What you need, young man,

is a nice walk in the park.

No smack, though!

I want to make that absolutely clear.

No, Nanny. No smack, I swear.

- Got any quaaludes? - Sure, I got quaaludes.

Lemmon 714s, $5 each.

Well, I can hardly be expected

to give up everything at once, can I?

I'll take, uh, five.

No, six. What about speed?

Why the hell are you buying speed? Are you mad?

Yo. I got some Black Beauties, man.

- They're pharmaceutical. - Meaning you made them yourself?

- Meaning they're good. - Do not buy any speed.

Give me three. Impulse buy.

- Ooh, you're British, right? - That's right.

Ain't you hot in that coat?