This Is the End

世界末日

嘿 塞斯·罗根 最近好吗 伙计? Hey, Seth Rogen. What up, man?

嘿 约翰! 这边! Oh, hey, John! Over here!

欢迎来到洛杉矶国际机场 Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport.

乘客们请注意 Attention, all passengers.

请妥善保管您的行李物品 Do not leave your baggage unattended.

无人看管的行李物品将被依法搜查... All unattended baggage is subject to search...

我好嗨皮啊! I'm so happy!

看这是谁! Look at this!

最近怎样 伙计? What's happening, man?

很高兴见到你 伙计 Good to see you, buddy.

- 你好吗? - 我很好 - How you doing? - I'm good, man.

确实不错 Yes, you are.

我们多久没见了? How long has it been, man?

好像是去年... Sometime in the last...

- 有差不多快一年了吧 - 是啊 - Inside of a year or something. - Yeah.

这是我计划的最完美的一个周末了 哥们 I have the best weekend ever planned, man.

- 说来听听 - 不要! 那就不完美了 - Lay it on me. - Ooh! I don't want to ruin it.

- 塞斯·罗根! - 该死的 怎么遇到这货了 - Seth Rogen! - Shit, here we go. Hey.

- 最近好吗? - 好 - How's it going, man? - Yeah, good.

你在电影里总是扮演同一种类型的角色 So, you, like, always play, like, the same guy in every movie.

你什么时候才能挑战新角色? When are you gonna do some, like, real acting, man?

谢谢 Okay, thank you.

来点笑容吧 伙计 Give me something. Give me, like, the laugh, man.

来点塞斯·罗根的招牌笑容 Give me the Seth Rogen laugh.

各位来看看 这是塞斯·罗根 Seth Rogen, everybody.

你看 我终于到了 安全抵达 我们也相互问候了 All right, I've landed. I'm here. We've said our hellos.

请问到底啥时候才能吃上汉堡啊? Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?

我也想 不过... I would... I would love to. I'm on a...

我不能吃啊现在 I can't really eat that stuff right now.

- 我 我最近... - 什么? - I'm on a, uh... - What?

我最近在清肠呢 I'm on this cleanse.

你... 你最近在什么? You're... You're on a what?

在清肠 I'm on a cleanse.

- 什么? - 这对人体有好处 - What? - It's good for you.

听说... 人一天要上六次大号 I didn't know... You're supposed to take six shits a day.

- 不可能 - 是真的! - That's not true. - It is true!

- 两次就够了 - 不是 - You're supposed to shit twice a day. - No.

不对 这是传统说法 That's not true. That's what they used to think.

现在是六次才对 Now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day.

所以你戒酒戒烟了 你不... So you're not drinking. You're not smoking weed. You're not...

- 没有 都没戒 - 那你... - No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed. - But...

我是在清肠 又不是疯了 I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic.

伙计 如果你不吃麸质食品 Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten,

肯定天天神清气爽 you'd feel way fucking better all day.

如果你感觉不爽 罪魁祸首肯定是麸质食品 Whenever you feel shitty, that's 'cause of gluten.

- 才不是 - 就是 - That's not true. - It is.

- 谁告诉你不要吃麸质食品? - 反正这说法是对的 - Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten? - It's just true.

你连麸质食品是什么都不知道 You don't even know what gluten is.

我当然知道 I know what fucking gluten is.

不 你不知道 No, you have no idea what gluten is.

我知道 I do know what gluten is.

麸质食品是个笼统概念 Gluten's a vague term.

就是一切对人体有害的东西 明白不? It's something that's used to categorize things that are bad, you know?

卡路里 脂肪 都是麸质食品 Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten.

有人叫你不要吃麸质食品 Somebody just told you you probably shouldn't eat gluten,

你会觉得"我的确不该吃" you're like, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't eat gluten."

麸质食品是万恶之源 我不吃 Gluten means bad shit, man, and I'm not eating it.

天啊! God!

越吃越有味道 Each bite is better than the previous bite.

- 是啊 - 麸质食品去死! - It is. - Gluten!

真漂亮啊 Hey, this looks beautiful.

你喜欢吗? 我彻底重弄了下 Yeah. Do you like it? I totally redid it.

太棒了 It's fucking awesome.

全新的 都是新的 It's all new. Those are new.

- 我的天啊! - 看上去不错 对吧? - God damn, son! - It's pretty nice, huh?

这就是土豪住的地方啊 So this is how the other half lives.

- 得了吧 - 太棒了 - Come on. - Amazing.

- 空气曲棍球桌 - 牛逼啊! - Air hockey tables. - Jesus Murphy!

是吧? 做好准备 杰伊 Right? Okay, get ready, Jay.

怎么了? What?

给你个小惊喜 I have a little surprise for you.

好 Okay.

这会是你一生中最难忘的周末 Here's the best weekend you ever had in your life.

你看 伙计 Look at it, man.

哦 天... 这是真的? Oh, my... Are you serious?

全都是你的最爱 It's all of your favorite things.

彩虹糖和QQ糖... Starburst and Airheads on a...

这里写着"杰伊" And it says "Jay."

- 拼出来的 - 拼出来的 - In joints. - In joints.

拼出来的 "杰伊" It says "Jay" in jays.

塞斯·罗根 你是世界上最好的人 Seth Rogen, you are just the best people.

我知道你不太喜欢洛杉矶 我在想... Come on, I know you don't love it in LA, so I figure I'll make it...

我得在你来之前多下点功夫 You know, I'll lube up your entry a little bit.

- 确实让我舒服许多 - 对吧? - It eases the transition. - Yeah, right?

这个前戏很重要 This is the much-needed foreplay.

猜猜还有什么? You know what else I got?

这是... Yo, this...

- 3D电视 - 不是吧... - A 3-D television. - No, you didn't...

- 我买了台3D电视 - 真的假的? - I got a 3-D TV. - Are you serious?

- 天啊 - 我买的 - Oh, my God. - I did it, man.

这是真的吗? What?

我们开始吧 Let's get into it.

天啊 伙计 Oh, my God, bud.

这是灰袍甘道夫(魔戒里的圣者)的烟斗 It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.

不会吧 Damn, no shit.

你好 小霍比特人 Hello, little hobbit.

- 点上 - 好 - Spark my ganja. - Yeah.

我是个知名的同性恋拥护者 I'm a well-known homosexual advocate.

甘道夫的扮演者伊恩·麦凯伦是同性恋

# 后街男孩回来了 # # Backstreet's back, all right #

# 大家一起 舞动你的身体 # # Everybody Rook your body #

# 大家一起来啊 # # Everybody Everybody #

# 舞动你的身体 # # Rock your body right Rock your body #

# 大家一起来! # # Everybody! #

# 因为后街男孩回来了... # # Backstreet's back... #

我眼睛火辣辣的疼啊 Oh, my eyes feel like they're melting.

我要休息会 I need a break.

突发新闻: 危地马拉城市区出现天坑

要不这样? Oh. You know what, actually?

我们一会去弗兰科家吧 We should go to Franco's house soon.

他有个乔迁聚会 He's having a housewarming party.

他的房子刚盖好 He just finished building his house.

我还没去看过 I haven't even seen it yet,

不过一定很震撼 but it's supposed to be bonkers.

我将近一年没来洛杉矶了 I haven't been in LA in, like, a year,

我来这里是想跟你好好玩玩 and I came here to chill with you.

我们可以一起玩 也可以跟大家一起玩啊 We can chill together, and we'll chill with those other guys.

大家聚在一起玩也很好啊 We'll all chill as one big unit.

那没一个我认识的 Will I even know anybody there?

你认识詹姆斯·弗兰科 You know James Franco.

詹姆斯·弗兰科又不认识我 James Franco doesn't even know my name.

乔纳·希尔也在那 Jonah Hill will be there.

我们俩互相看不惯 Can't stand him. He can't stand me.

他是世界上最好的人! 他超喜欢你的 He's, like, the nicest guy in the world! He likes you so much.

他总提到你的好 He specifically talks about how he likes you.

他没事就说 "你们知道吗?" Out of nowhere, he just said, "You know what?"

"杰伊超鼓舞人心的" "Jay's an inspiration."

不可能 就算这样 我还是受不了他 There's no way he said that. Also, just can't stand him.

好吧 那还有克雷格·罗宾逊 Okay, fine. Craig Robinson.

不认识 Never met him.

他超搞笑的 He's hilarious.

虽然爱流汗 但他是个好人 Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy.

会很好玩的 So it's gonna be fun, man.

为了你 那就去吧 For you, I will go.

我保证 我不会丢下你的 好吗? I promise, I'll stay with you all night, okay?

我不会把你丢在一边 因为我想一晚上都跟你呆一起 I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I want to be with you all night.

你知道为什么吗? And you know why else?

没人会忍心让杰伊坐冷板凳 'Cause nobody puts Jay in the corner.

好莱坞

太棒了 Awesome.

- 谢谢了 - 到了 - Thank you. Thank you. - There you go. Cool.

太感谢了 谢谢 Thanks a lot, eh? Thanks a lot.

好了 Okay, man.

我的天啊 Holy shit.

碉堡了! This is crazy!

- 是吗? - 是啊 觉得怎样 - Yeah? - Yeah, man, right?

- 你看 - 还行吧 - Look at it. - A bit much.

不是还行 I don't think it is a bit much.

简直是拿钱堆起来的 I think it's right on the money.

他是谁 帕布洛·艾斯科巴吗(臭名昭著的哥伦比亚大毒枭)? What is he, Pablo Escobar?

别这样嘛 伙计 这条街很棒的好不好 Come on, man, this is an awesome street.

钱宁·塔图姆(2012年度性感男星)就住那边 Channing Tatum lives up there.

- 我的天... - 你能不能闭嘴... - Oh, for the love of... - Will you stop talking about...

这是美国最性感的一条街 This is the sexiest street in America.

不要再提你和钱宁·塔图姆 You and Channing Tatum.

我觉得他很帅 I think he's attractive.

- 我觉得这房子好酷 - 我就知道你会这么想 - I think it's a cool house. - I know you do.

真想看看里面啥样 I can't wait to see inside it.

我也很好奇 That's why I'm excited.

哈! 来了! 你好吗? 塞斯! Ha-ha! Yes! What's up, man? Seth!

- 真高兴看到你 - 我也很高兴 - So happy you're here. - I'm so happy to be here.

嘿 强尼 你好吗? Hey, Johnny, what's up?

- 我叫杰伊 - 他是杰伊 - It's Jay. - It's Jay.

下次我肯定不会忘的 哥们 很高兴见到你 I'll never forget it again, man. Good to see you.

真高兴见到你 快进来 Nice to see you. Come on in. Yeah! Yeah, great.

看 我的新房子! Check it out. My new place!

太棒了 伙计! Awesome, man!

我自己设计的 Designed it myself.

真酷 这房子真漂亮 Really cool. This place is beautiful, man.

这房子就像我身体的一部分 This place is like a piece of me.

你们就像是走进我的身体 You two just stepped inside me.

你让我俩一起进入你的身体 You let us both come inside you. Yeah.

最大的亮点 你看 Icing on the cake. Check it out.

我自己画的 Painted them myself.

塞斯·罗根 詹姆斯·弗兰科

哈 Huh.

背靠背 我们是一个组合 Side by side. A team.

天啊 Holy shit.

很奇怪? So, is it weird?

- 没有 - 真的? - No. - You sure?

我超喜欢 I really like it.

杰伊 你觉得呢? What do you think, Jay?

我不太懂艺术 I'm not a big art guy.

你不喜欢艺术? You don't like art?

怎么说呢... Well, come on...

- 你玩游戏吗? - 玩 - You play video games? - Yes.

伙计 猜猜怎么着? 你是喜欢艺术的 Well, guess what, buddy? You like art.

好吧 Yep.

你去过赛百味吗? You ever been to Subway?

去过 Yes.

点过三明治吗? You order a sandwich?

他们帮你把各种配料堆在一起 伙计 那就是艺术 Somebody put that together for you, dude. That's art.

三明治艺术 Sandwich artist.

杰伊 我再好好跟你解释下 So, let me lay this on you, Jay.

又来了 Oh, fuck.

你妈妈的阴道是画布 Your mama's pussy was the canvas.

你爸爸的老二就是画笔 Your dad's dick was the paintbrush.

嘭 你就是他们的艺术品 明白吗? Boom. You're the art. Huh?

- 谢了 詹姆斯·弗兰科 - 你明白了 - Thanks, James Franco. - You got it.