Winifred Meeks

Are you gonna let Lestrade

handle this thing by himself?

Well, after all,

he does represent the official police, you know.

With him doing the questioning,

looking under the seat cushions for diamonds,

what very more must we do now?

I could do it better myself.

Why don't you, old fellow?

Huh?

By Jove, I think I will.

Probably find out just as much Lestrade would anyway.

I'll do it at once.

Oh, that's where we just came from.

Locked, huh?

Oh.

Well, I'll start with this one.

Hello.

Yes?

My name's Watson. Dr. Watson.

- Oh, to what am I indebted to this intrusion?

I'm afraid

I've got to ask you one or two questions.

What are you doing on the train?

Where are you going?

Things like that, you know.

Why? Customary?

- Oh, there's been a murder committed.

Scotland Yard.

Did my food come?

It's in the kitchen.

- What about Sherlock Holmes?

We're cross-examining suspects.

Thanks for that.

Suspects?

Of what am I suspected?

- Oh, a fellow's dead. Murdered, you know.

- Now, let me get this straight.

You say a murder has been committed on this train?

Oh, in the next compartment.

- And because a perfect stranger to me

got himself murdered, you've come to question me?

- Well, we've got to question everybody!

Are you a policeman? No?

Then by what right

do you force your way into my compartment?

If you need anything, just call.

Thank you.

Excuse us, will you?

What's the idea, Mr. Holmes?

- It's a matter of taste, Lestrade.

The young lady's taking her mother to Scotland for burial.

In a coffin?

- That is the customary method, I believe.

Lestrade, I think we'll take a look at that coffin.

It might prove interesting.

Hm, I was about to

suggest that very thing myself, Mr. Holmes.

Conductor, I'll have a look in the luggage van.

Oh, this way, sir.

Hello.

Are you there yet, love?

Yes, Mum.

And? What's it like?

Well, I've barely put my bags down.

- Is it as good as it looks in the brochure?

I'm just in the door.

It looked lovely in the brochure.

Oh, just give me a sec, love.

I just got to answer the door.

Sorry, love. That was just a package for Dad.

So, what's the impression?

- So far, so good. I'll call you later and report.

Do. Do, love, do.

Your dad will want the complete lowdown.

Of course, Mum.

Let me get settled and I'll call you as soon as.

Okay, okay, love.

Dad sends kisses.

Yeah, kisses back. Love you.

Love you. Love you, sweetheart.

I'll keep it short, Squirrel.

Hi, Dad.

Well, will it do?

It's perfect, Dad.

Oh, guess what? I am the first person to stay here.

It's been renovated.

Excellent, excellent.

Book 5, love!

It's fine, Dad. It'll come.

It always does.

I just need a couple of days cooling off

and I'll be able to jump right in.

That's my girl.

Well, Sophie in the Book Corner told me that

books 1 to 3 have completely sold out.

They have another lot on order.

Sophie's lovely.

Tell her thanks from me,

for keeping the flag flying.

- I know you're being kind, Squirrel.

She is aware it's only a village bookshop,

but we're proud of you, that's all.

No one else from this quaint corner of the world

has ascended to such dizzy heights.

- I'm not exactly J.K. Rowling, Dad.

- Well, she wasn't either, until Hollywood came calling.

- I think you'll find she's always been J.K. Rowling.

You know what I mean.

Look, your old dad is proud of you.

You are following what burns inside

and making a bloody good living,

so you keep that fire lit.

- Thanks, Dad. That means the world to me.

You know it does.

Now stop worrying.

I know. I know.

I just, um, well...

I just don't like to think of you being unhappy, that's all.

It breaks my heart.

- Stop, Dad. You'll make me cry again.

It'll get sorted, one way or the other.

Okay. Okay, love.

Well, you enjoy your night and keep me in the loop.

We'll talk tomorrow, or the day after.

Of course, Dad.

Dad, I love you.

And I love you too, Squirrel.

Very well.

Our guests are here, unfortunately still alive.

Is your face on yet?

- Dust and dirt everywhere. The water barely trickled.

Couldn't you have had the place cleaned?

- Atmosphere, darling. You know how ghosts are.

They never tidy up.

That's a very fetching outfit,

but hardly suitable for a party.

I'm not going to the party.

- This spend-the-night ghost party was your idea, remember?

If you're gonna cost me $50,000, I want you to have fun.

- The party was my idea, until you invited all the guests.

Why all of these strangers, but none of our friends?

Friends? Do we have any friends?

No, your jealousy took care of that.

I had a reason for inviting each guest.

I wanted kind of a cross section,

from psychiatrist to typist,

and from drunk to jet pilot.

They share one thing, they all need money.

Now, let's see if they're brave enough to earn it.

And you call this a party?

Could be.

Why do you always do that?

It spoils the Champagne.

Well, it might explode.

It never does.

Will you guarantee that?

That isn't funny, Frederick.

- It would make a good headline.

Playboy kills wife with champagne cork.

Oh, there it was! I saw it again!

Where did it come from?

From in here!

"Aesop's Fables,"

A New Translation by V. S. Vernon Jones,

with an introduction by G. K. Chesterton, 1912 edition.