Waiting to Exhale

What's up? This is K107, broadcasting on New Year's Eve.

Why don't you all scribble down those New Year's resolutions,

dial me up, tell us those lies you're telling yourself--

promises you know you won't keep.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.

They're stupid. I promise this year I will not--

No matter what John says,

this year I'm starting my catering business.

And if I do ever let Russell come back,

I'm gonna whip something on him so tough.

I'm gonna lose 10 pounds and eat right.

Fifteen pounds. Okay, 35.

Thirty-five pounds.

Do you know where you want to be tonight...

and where you want to be next year?

Think about it. 'Cause we're getting close to that final hour.

So if you haven't finished those New Year's resolutions,

you better jump on it before it's too late.

I've made mine. How about you?

This is brand-new from the beautiful Chanté Moore.

"Wey U." K107. Check it out.

The deal is, the men in Denver are dead.

No wonder I'm changing towns again.

It's got to be better in Phoenix.

I gotta pick up the babysitter,

pick up my gown, stop and get John's tux.

Ooh, I'd clone myself,

but I wouldn't have time for the surgery.

I don't know why I always pick the wrong men to fall in love with.

My weakness is pretty boys with big sticks.

I don't know why Tarik has to spend New Year's Eve with his homeys.

He sees them every day.

Plus there are gonna be all these drunk fools in the streets.

He'd have more fun at home with me watching videos.

I just want you to know...

that if you're searching, somewhere there's a love for you.

and I'm geeked up for a blind date that's not even all that.

Just some party this guy's voice invited my answering machine to...

when we got worn out playing phone tag.

A long time ago, I asked God to send me a decent man.

I got Robert, Cedric, Darrell and Kenneth.

God's got some serious explaining to do.

So my prayers got more detailed.

Like, how about some compassion?

Could he have a sense of purpose?

A sense of integrity?

Could he listen?

The truth is, most men are deaf.

They prefer to guess what you need. But they don't guess worth shit.

They lie without a conscience.

What they're best at is convincing us we should feel desperate.

Thank God I don't fall for that shit.

If I had the nerve, I'd get me some real breasts.

Oh, I know that's gotta be Mama.

She's the only one knows I'm staying in a hotel.

I love you, Ma, but tonight--

I'll call you in the morning, Ma.

I do not feel like going to another one of these boring affairs.

Bernie? Yes?

Would you be terribly disappointed...

if we didn't go to the party tonight?

Crushed.

What?

I guess there's no appropriate time to tell you this, but...

I'm going to the party, just not with you.

She-- She?

Yes.

She doesn't want to be alone tonight,

and I was thinking, "Why should she be?"

It's that bitch who keeps your books, isn't it?

And you picked tonight to flaunt your whore...

in front of all your business partners and your friends.

What the hell are they supposed to think, John?

The truth.

Finally, the truth.

I'm leaving you for her.

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

This is only a test. Don't worry.

You can have the house.

And you know I'll take care of my kids.

You wait a minute.

I give you 11 fuckin' years of my life,

and you're telling me that you're leaving me for a white woman?

Would it be better if she were black?

No. It'd be better if you were black.

Thank you, Bernadine,

for making this easier...

for me.

I'll be back next week for my things.

[ Emergency Tone Continues, Stops ]

This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

All right.

Time to get your groove on. "All Night Long."

I don't believe I'm spending New Year's Eve by myself.

Now, this is definitely a first.

Finally gave up on Russell.

A lyin', sneaky, whorish Pisces.

Russell was so fine.

Probably...

every woman in America wanted to be with him.

But you know what, Achey?

Oh, I knew he was mine...

till--

till I found that half slip in his gym bag.

Phone's ringing off the hook tonight...

from women wondering where all the real men are.

So, for all you fellows out there running the streets...

looking for love in all the wrong places,

there's something you should know.

Love might be waiting right there at home.

Ma, I wish you were going out tonight.

Hmm.

I'm just fine, thank you.

You're coming in at a decent hour tonight.

Ma, it's New Year's Eve. Things don't start jumping off until midnight.

You ought to be praising God I'm letting you go out at all,

the grades you bringing in here.

You know, you best get busy.

You're gonna be using Morse code to contact them little girlfriends of yours.

Look, I'm doing the best I can, so just ground me now.

You know your father's coming on Tuesday.

And?

First of all, he's not my father. He's my daddy.

- And there's a big damn difference. - Now, you watch your mouth.

Look, I see the bastard once every two years, and I'm supposed to get excited?

You get excited.

I can't believe this, man. Why's she doing this?

What is that supposed to mean?

Where'd he sleep the last time he was here?

Oh, man.

Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ma, I'm sorry. Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm really-- I'm sorry.

That's none of your business.

I'm sorry.

This is K107, broadcasting live from the Hermosa.

And this is where the party's going down.

Why are you sitting there when you could be sitting here in my room?

Let Brandy tell you. Check it out. K107.

Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?

No. Please, join us.

She has her nerve, sitting down here.

Hell yeah.

I'm single and desperate and have no morals.

And as soon as one of you turns your back,

I'm gonna flirt my butt off...

and then take your man.

Can't stand women like her.

Please. Mmm.

Savannah?

Lionel?

Hi. How are you?

God, if this man isn't the one,

at least let me dance till I sweat.

Would you like to dance? I'd love to.

All right.

God, you look so beautiful tonight.

Thanks.

I'm certainly glad we finally met.

You made it here safely in one piece.

Well, our answering machines almost moved in with each other.

Glad we met too.

Mmm. You feel so good.

Thank you, Jesus.

And then I did it.

I closed my eyes...

and I exhaled--

and pretended this man was mine.

That he was everything I ever dreamed of.

That he was the one...

I'd been waiting for all my life.

Lionel.

Lionel.

You haven't danced with me all night.

Uh, Savannah, this is my friend Denise.

If I hurry, I can still catch Dick Clark.

What's up, Joseph? I like them pants.

Well, thank you, girl. Hey, Joseph, did he show up?

Hmm! You think he didn't?