A Fish Called Wanda

And on that point, members of the jury, I rest my case.

Hello, Wanda.

- Hi, Ken. - Hello, W-W-Wanda.

Ken... this is Otto.

Hello. Wanda's told me a lot about you.

Hey! Great fish!

A little squeeze of lemon, some tartare sauce, perfect!

George back yet?

No. He had to g-g-go to the b-b-b...

What?

That's quite a stutter you've got there, Ken.

It's all right, it doesn't bother me. So George needs a weapons man, eh?

A cup of tea, Ken?

Y-y-y...

Yeah. He'd like one.

I had a good friend in the CIA had a stutter. Cost him his life.

Hi, George.

Hello, George. Get you a Scotch?

Yeah.

George... this is Otto.

So, you're Wanda's brother.

It's good to be here, George. England is a fine country.

She tell you what we need?

Something like that?

Something like that.

Hello, Wendy.

Had a good day?

I spend the morning trying to get a waste-disposal man,

have lunch with Marjorie, who kept complaining about her husband,

then I have to play three rubbers with Philippa.

And now Sanderson's have sent the wrong flowers.

Oh, no!

- Would you like some tea? - Yes.

I won the case.

This is my first moment of peace all day.

- Hello, Portia. How was the show? - Awful. I've got to have a new horse.

- I thought you liked Phantom. - He's not fit for dog meat.

- Can I change him? It won't cost much. - Oughtn't we to ask...

I thought you were making tea, Archie. I'd better do it.

- Let me do it. - No, I'll do it!

- I won the case. - Oh! Now this is cracked.

They're worth about 100,000 each.

There are 135 of them. That makes 13 millions, my friends.

- Dollars or pounds? - Pounds, pet.

This is the big one. So...

OK.

Yeah.

Otto?

- Yes? - OK?

- What? - The plan.

Yeah. Great. No problem.

What was the middle thing, about the police?

We don't meet up at Heathrow until Tuesday...

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I haven't finished yet.

Because the police will watch all the airports for 72 hours.

I know. I know.

Do you want m-m-me to g-g-get a b-b-big

c-c-car?

Yes, Ken. A limo, OK?

And put diplomatic plates on it, right?

What if he has to speak in the break-in?

Nobody says anything during a break-in.

It's OK, Otto. Ken's good.

So next week we won't have to look for work.

And it won't have to look for us.

Oscar Wilde.

You really like animals, don't you, Ken? What's the attraction?

Because you can t-t-trust them, and they don't sh-sh-sh...

- Shit on you? - Show off all the time.

Know what Nietzsche said about them? He said they were God's second blunder.

Bye, sis.

Well, you t-tell him from me that I-I-I...

Bye, George.

If you talk to Mom, tell her I said hi.

- OK. - Don't let him touch you.

One more day, we're together.

I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive.

He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.

Good.

Anybody moves and you're dead!

Look where you're going! Chauvinist pig!

Really! People here just think they own the pavement!

That was fun. I love robbing the English. They're so polite.

- The d-d-d... - What is it, Ken?

- The dog! - We didn't hit the dog, Ken. It's OK.

$20 million, he worried about an insect.

It's not an-an-an...

Stutter's not getting any better, is it?

Shut up!

- Shut up! -

Ken?

Bye.

- Let's split. - Heathrow, Tuesday.

- Lie low. No celebrating. - No celebrating?

- See you in a couple of hours. - OK. Bye.

- To 20 million. - To a job well done.

To us.

To the best brother-and-sister team since...

Romeo and Juliet?

Do you believe those cockney klutzes bought our story? What morons!

- I want you to know something. - What?

Even if you were my brother, I'd still want to fuck you.

Oooh!

- Make the call. - Momento, carissima.

No. No Italian!

Hey!

Per cominciare, due insalate verdi con peperoni e un linguini primavera.

No. Make the call, Otto.

- Are you really Italian? - Absolutamente. Si.

My name is Otto. It means eight. Say "Arrivederci a Giorgio."

- Bye, George. - Police, please.

- Otto! - Argh!

Hello. I thought it might interest you to know

that the Hatton Garden robbery today was pulled off

by a Mr. George Thomason, who lives at

Flat 3, Kipling Mansions,

Murray Road, London, West 9.

Wanda?

Police! Open up!

Come on, open up!

Open the door, or we'll knock it down.

George Francis Thomason?

Passport, tickets...

...money.

Asshole!

- We're rich, Wanda. - Yep?

I bet these last two weeks with me

have been the most exciting two weeks of your life.

You said it.

OK.

OK.

Disappointed!

Son of a bitch!

What do you have to do in this life to make people trust you?

Shut up.

People always take advantage of me.

Shut up and think. Where's he moved it?

- What are you doing? - I'm thinking!

Thinking what I'll do to him.

First, I'll hang him up with piano wire...

- Where are you going? - To talk to him.

Then...

Talk to who? Talk to who?!

So while installing windows for your parents,

you were kneeling on the floor where there was broken glass?

- That's right, sir. - And your parents can confirm this?

Yes. And his aunt, Georgina Thomason.

Good, Bartlett.

Yes?

Sorry to interrupt you, sir.

- Thomason, lady to see you. - Anything else?

No. You don't have to dash off, do you?

No, absolutely not. George?

Ken's got the fish food. He'll be in later.

- Thanks. - De nada.

- What do you think? - We may be all right on the glass.

But what else are they gonna come up with?

Oh, George! Oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening!

That's not allowed in here, miss.

- Are you OK? - It's all right.

I don't think I can handle this.

I was so afraid to go to sleep last night, I...

Leave it out. Leave it out, OK?

Now listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen.

You stayed at my place.

We slept late. You made me breakfast.

What?

- What's he doing here? - He wanted to see you.

Who did it, George? Kevin Delaney?

Want me to rub him out? Anything. You name it.

- I have friends making enquiries. - Good.

The jewels are very safe.

If I get sent down, it all gets handed back to cut my sentence.

Now, to cut my sentence even more, I could tell them who done it with me,

if I wasn't very happy about everything.

What was the middle thing?

Piss off.

- You want me to spring you? - Now!

George?

- You don't think...? - Do you?

No!

No?

- No. - OK.

- George? - What?

Are you sure the garage is very safe?

Trust me.

Thank you very much.

Thanks a lot. Bye. Have a good day.

- So? - Well, he's not sure it was you.

What about you?

He believes me. He can't figure out you.

- Figure out what? - If you turned him in or not, stupid!

Don't, uh, ever, ever,

ever call me stupid. OK?

What?

That's George's lawyer.

The other guy must be the barrister.

- So? - Trust me.

- Let me know if anything turns up. - Yes.

Excuse me.