Younger

_

I've got a proposition.

Meet me at the Carlyle tonight at 9:00.

You're gonna kiss him again. I know you.

I'm so sorry about last night.

I just want you to know...

It was just a kiss, Liza. Let it go.

Nobody at work knows this, but I'm 40.

I'm gonna sign with Millennial on one condition:

I use you as a case study.

Yeah, that's the... exactly. That's the same issue.

Yes.

Morning.

Well, it's all open for discussion.

Okay, that's his people calling me now.

I'll try you back from the office.

I'll be there in five.

Hello? Hi, yes. Charles.

You are being blogged and podcasted

everywhere that matters.

Oh, and we've got you listicled

on Buzzfeed and Refinery29.

By Wednesday, there won't be a millennial

who hasn't heard, read, or socially transmitted

"The Deciding Decade."

And we were saving the best news for last.

Ellen's producer said Ellen read

the advanced copy and loved it.

- Love her. - Fantastic.

There's one little hitch.

She really responded to the chapter

where your 40-year-old patient pretends to be

a 26-year-old assistant.

So, she'll have you on the show

if you bring that patient with you.

And reveal her identity on national television?

That's impossible... that would be totally unethical.

Not if the patient agrees.

It would be such incredible publicity.

That... maybe I could reach out and ask.

Why would the patient consent?

I mean, wasn't she promised anonymity?

Well, she's clearly an opportunist.

- More like a sociopath. - Yeah.

Shaving one or two years off your age is one thing,

but living a double life?

That is a very disturbed individual.

Well..., in the chapter, she said

that she applied for a lot of jobs as a 40-year-old,

and got turned down every time, so she had to find

a way around this institutionalized ageism.

I don't see ageism, I see someone

who stepped out of the industry and paid the price.

She probably wasn't hired because she doesn't have

the skills or talent.

Well, I can certainly reach out to her.

I think it's risky.

Staking the campaign of Millennial's first book

on a con artist?

I bet you make the deal with Ellen,

and that lunatic sues us.

Oh, my God. We can't chance that.

We'll keep working and get in touch soon.

All right. Thank you, Charles.

Our pleasure.

Get on the ball. Pre-orders are dismal.

Excuse me?

I'm still here.

Moving on.

Where are we on "P is for Pigeon"?

It's gone to copy editing.

The early buzz on GoodReads has been great.

And I sent an advanced copy

to Anthony Lane at "The New Yorker."

What on God's green earth is so important?

Have I been unclear about devices in the conference room?

I always keep it face down, except...

Face down or put away, that's the policy.

We're done. Thank you.

I haven't seen him in a mood like this

since his wife left.

Something is really under his skin.

- Hi. - Hi.

Um, I'm making a Juice Press run.

Can I get you anything?

Uh, no, thanks. I'm good.

Uh, look, I know I might be

misreading the situation, but are you okay?

- With me? - What?

I just want you to know

that I think you're amazing,

and I... I just... I feel so lucky

and so grateful to be working here,

and I just...

Not even a cucumber coconut water?

No, I'm fine. Really, I am.

Uh, company, that's another story.

- Oh? - There might have to be

some changes around here.

What kind of changes?

I'm sorry. I'm late for a meeting.

Don't worry about it.

_

God, I hope I don't lose my job.

You wouldn't have to lie anymore.

Yeah, and Caitlin wouldn't have to go to college anymore.

I mean, I can help with tuition.

My business is doing really great these days, so...

I would never let you do that.

But I can't tell you how much that means to me.

Yeah, well, I'm kind of crazy about the mom.

Ah, I've missed that.

Mm, me too.

So want to go back to my place?

I changed the sheets today.

Josh, are you familiar with the marshmallow experiment?

Yeah, where you try to see

how many you can fit in your mouth at once?

No, it's, um... It's this parenting thing.

Children were given one marshmallow

and told that they could eat it immediately,

or they could wait 15 minutes,

- and get two marshmallows. - What?

Why would anybody do that to a kid?

- I mean, it's... that's torture. - I know.

But anyway, they followed the kids for like 20 years,

and they found out that the ones that could

delay gratification had better life outcomes.

Higher self-reported happiness.

Okay, um...

so who's the marshmallow in this scenario?

Am I the marshmallow?

Actually, I'm the marshmallow.

Oh.

So you want to take it slow, huh?

I need more time.

I get it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I am still gonna walk you home, though, so...

'Cause I'm a gentleman.

- Oh, Kelsey. Hey. - Hi, Chad.

- Ah! - Hi.

Okay. Oh. Ah.

So, uh, what's so important?

Wow, you speak Chinese?

Um, just a couple dialects of Mandarin.

Wow. I'm impressed.

I volunteered on a clean water project

in Gansu and kind of picked it up.

But languages are my jam.

What about the password to Thad's computer?

I've got to change his profile pic.

Oh, yeah. That. Sorry.

These passwords are really hard to crack.

But if it's any consolation,

wow, your tongue looks really healthy in that photo.

Sorry.

Here, maybe you'll have better luck.

Thanks.

Kelsey, I... I don't know how to say this,

so I'm just gonna come out and say it.

Whoa. Oh, my God. What are you doing?

I know.

It's a little soon, but...

My parents would like the engagement ring back.

It's a family heirloom.

- Are you serious? - Of course.

I... I could show you photos

of my great-grandmother wearing that ring.

No. No, it's....

It's fine.

Sorry to be the one just...

bringing you all this bad news.

You know, let me make it up to you.

Let's get out of the city this weekend.

Fishers Island.

I already have ferry reservations,

and we could just talk everything out,

and finally just...

be.

Chad?

We are never going to "Be" anything.

Ever.

Do you understand that?

What, so... So you're just gonna act like

the... the barn at Gary's wedding never happened?

How do you know about me and Thad in that barn?

Thad?

Come on, you know that was me.

What?

You said you loved me.

Because I thought that you were Thad.

That was the game we were playing.

- But you knew. Come on. - I did not know!

Look me in the eye and say you don't think of me

every time you sit on a big, fat bale of hay.

You know what? Take your stupid ring back.

Don't call me, don't text me,

and stop tagging me in funny memes.