Grounded for Life

SEAN, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE REMOTE?

I DON'T KNOW.

IS IT IN THE KITCHEN?

THE KITCHEN'S PRETTY MUCH COVERED BY "I DON'T KNOW."

WOULD YOU HAVE BROUGHT IT UPSTAIRS?

I DON'T KNOW!

HERE IT IS!

NOPE, IT'S A TRISCUIT.

OH, DAD, DON'T YOU DARE EAT THAT.

WELL, WHY NOT?

IT HASN'T BEEN ON THE FLOOR OR ANYTHING.

OH!

SEAN, ASK CLAUDIA WHERE THE REMOTE IS.

NO. I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER HER, MAN.

SHE'S IN ONE OF THOSE WEIRD MOODS.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, THERE WAS A LITTLE INCIDENT IN JIMMY'S ROOM,

AND CLAUDIA GOT A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.

OH, SEAN!

Sean: WHAT?

GET IN HERE!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

WE HAVE A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,

VERY, VERY, VERY BIG PROBLEM.

WHOA. SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

JIMMY'S DOWNLOADING PORNOGRAPHY.

OH, JIMMY.

SO, THERE WE WERE WITH THIS NAKED WOMAN

ON OUR LITTLE BOY'S COMPUTER,

AND WE DIDN'T AGREE ON HOW TO HANDLE IT.

CLAUDIA, IF YOU WANT MY OPINION,

IT'S NORMAL FOR SOMEONE JIMMY'S AGE

TO BE LOOKING AT NAKED LADIES.

OH, REALLY?

HOW ABOUT SOMEONE SEAN'S AGE?

IT WAS YOU?

YES, YES, DAD! IT WAS ME,

AND IF IT WAS IN FRONT OF ME, I'D DO IT AGAIN.

AND YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE IT'S PROBABLY THE LAST NAKED WOMAN I'LL EVER SEE.

YOUR WIFE CAUGHT YOU LOOKING AT PORNOGRAPHY?

IT WAS ADULT CONTENT, AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

WHAT, YOU FELL OFF A LADDER AND LANDED ON PORN?

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

UH, HENRY, GO UPSTAIRS.

FINE. THEN YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

LOOK, IT WAS ALL JUST TOTALLY INNOCENT, OK?

I PUT A COUPLE OF BUCKS DOWN ON THE GIANTS GAME,

AND I HAD TO GO ON-LINE ON JIMMY'S COMPUTER

TO CHECK THE SPREAD.

OK, GIANTS AT HOME AGAINST PHILADELPHIA.

"HOT, HOT, SUPER HOT CHEERLEADERS"?

OH.

YOU'RE NOT A REAL CHEERLEADER.

CHEERLEADERS WEAR UNDERWEAR.

OH, YEAH, WHAT TEAM DO YOU CHEER FOR?

OH, MY GOD.

Woman: ENTER. COME INSIDE AND PLAY.

WELL, I THINK I WILL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WHO IS THIS STUFF EVEN FOR?

THAT'S NOT EVEN SEXY.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

OH, AMATEURS. YEAH, WELL, IT SHOWS.

Claudia: SEAN?

I'M DOING LAUNDRY, BABY.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT'S DIRTY?

SEAN?

OH, GOD. OH.

GO AWAY. GO.

OH, GOD. SEAN?

COME ON. CLOSE, CLOSE, CLOSE.

CLOSE, CLOSE, CLOSE!

UM...

GO AWAY.

SEAN?

OH, SEAN!

Sean: WHAT?

GET IN HERE!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

WE HAVE A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,

VERY, VERY, VERY BIG PROBLEM.

WHOA. SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

JIMMY'S DOWNLOADING PORNOGRAPHY.

JIMMY.

JEEZ.

OK. ALL RIGHT.

WE KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME, RIGHT?

WE JUST HAVE TO TALK TO HIM.

UH, WE DON'T REALLY

HAVE TO TALK TO HIM, DO WE, BABE?

I MEAN, HE'S A BOY.

HE WANTED TO SEE A PICTURE OF A NAKED LADY.

HE SAW ONE. NOW IT'S OUT OF HIS SYSTEM.

OH. YEAH, I MEAN,

WHAT BOY WANTS TO SEE

MORE THAN ONE NAKED LADY? HEH.

YOU BLAMED IT ON JIMMY?

NO, DAD. CLAUDIA BLAMED IT ON JIMMY, OK?

I JUST DIDN'T CORRECT HER.

JIMMY'S HOME?

NO.

OH, 'CAUSE I HEARD YOU SAY "JIMMY."

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR JIMMY?

OH, I'M NOT.

I JUST WANTED TO GREET HIM,

YOU KNOW, AFTER A LONG DAY AT SCHOOL.

YOU'LL CALL ME WHEN HE GETS IN, RIGHT?

YEAH. HEH HEH. SO YOU CAN GREET HIM.

YEAH.

HERE IT IS. HERE'S THE REMOTE.

ALL RIGHT.

NO, NO. THAT'S THE STEREO REMOTE.

I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN LET JIMMY

TAKE THE FALL FOR WHAT YOU DID.

DAD, I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE THING WAS GONNA BLOW OVER, OK?

IT WAS CLAUDIA.

SHE WOULDN'T LET IT DROP.

JIMMY, THE FEELINGS YOU'VE BEEN HAVING ARE HEALTHY.

WHAT? WHAT FEELINGS?

YOU KNOW. I THINK HE GETS IT.

I'M JUST SAYING IT'S NATURAL TO BE CURIOUS.

YOU KNOW, ONE MINUTE YOU'RE THINKING,

"BOY, BASEBALL'S FUN,"

AND THE NEXT, YOU'RE RUBBING UP

AGAINST MANNEQUINS AT THE MALL.

WHAT?

JUST STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT.

OK, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD

BEAT THIS THING INTO THE GROUND.

THE KID KNOWS HE DID WRONG,

AND HE'S NOT GONNA DO IT AGAIN.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG,

SO MAYBE I WILL DO IT AGAIN.

JIMMY, YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE.

HOW?

OH, IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL

TO WANT TO LOOK AT PICTURES OF NAKED GIRLS.

OK. GOT ANY?

YOU KNOW, MISTER,

WE DIDN'T WANT IT TO COME TO THIS.

NO, WE DIDN'T.

WE KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ON YOUR COMPUTER.

WHOA! CHECK IT OUT.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS?

I CAN'T TELL.

LET ME LOOK AT IT A LITTLE CLOSER.

NO. SEAN, THIS IS-- SEAN.

SEAN!

POOR JIMMY.

JIMMY? HE'S NOT HERE.

OH.

SOME EXAMPLE YOU'RE SETTIN' AS A FATHER--

LOOKING AT NAKED PICTURES.

OH, YEAH, DAD. YOU'RE ONE TO TALK.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'VE GOT BRUSHES TO SELL, AND SHE'S BUYIN'.

OH, YEAH.

DAD?

KNOCK BEFORE YOU ENTER THE GARAGE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, BUILDING A BIRDHOUSE. WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?

AAH!

IT WAS A FOREIGN FILM. I'M A FOREIGN FILM BUFF.

OH, COME ON, DAD. NAME ONE FOREIGN FILM YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

THE FRENCH CONNECTION.

YOU EVER SEE DAWN OF THE DEAD?

THAT'S NOT A FOREIGN FILM,

AND NEITHER IS THE FRENCH CONNECTION.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR SHUTTING DOWN ALL CONVERSATION.

BESIDES, SEAN,

JIMMY'S A MINOR.

I NEVER LET YOU KIDS

LOOK AT DIRTY PICTURES WHEN YOU WERE HIS AGE.

HEY, DAD, WHEN WE WERE JIMMY'S AGE,

GETTING OUR HANDS ON DIRTY PICTURES WAS NOT EASY.

BELIEVE ME.

ALL RIGHT, EDDIE. HIS BACK IS TURNED.

JUST GRAB THE CANDY. HE'LL NEVER CATCH YOU.

OK, OK.

GO.

HEY, MISTER, THAT KID JUST STOLE SOME RED HOTS.

HEY!

COME HERE, KID!

COME ON BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MIDGET!

GIVE ME THAT CANDY!

COME BACK HERE!

I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR EARS OFF!

SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS, SON?

I PULLED A MUSCLE

PROTECTING SOME LITTLE KIDS FROM BULLIES.

OH, GOOD WORK, SON. HERE,

LET ME WORK ON THAT FOR YOU.

NO, NO.

I'LL JUST WALK IT OFF.

DON'T BE SILLY.

HERE.