Sonic the Hedgehog

So, I know what you're thinking.

Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog being chased by a madman

with a mustache from the Civil War?

Well, to be honest,

it feels like I've been running my whole life.

Is this too much? Am I going too fast?

It's kind of what I do. You know what? Let's back up.

This is the island where I'm from.

It had everything.

Sandy beaches, cascading waterfalls,

public access to loop-de-loops.

And, I never had to catch a school bus

because I could run across the entire island

in less than two seconds.

Also, there was no school.

I know, pretty sweet island, right?

Yeah!

I was born with extraordinary powers and was told to keep them secret.

And like any kid,

I did the exact opposite.

Whoo-hoo!

That's Longclaw. She took care of me.

She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi…

if Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice.

Sonic, someone could have seen you.

No one saw me. I'm too fast!

And I wanted to bring you this.

Get down!

Turns out, with great power

comes great power-hungry bad guys.

And I led them right to us.

Listen carefully, Sonic.

You have a power unlike anything I have ever seen.

And that means someone will always want it.

The only way to stay safe is to stay hidden.

This world is on the far side of the universe.

You should be safe there.

-I don't wanna go without you. -You must.

These rings will be your most important possession.

- -

If you're ever discovered, use one.

Never stop running.

Now go!

Longclaw!

Goodbye, Sonic.

No!

- -

No!

Come on, one car?

I'm bored.

Tom, do you read me? Are you there?

No, Wade, I'm actually on a yacht in Barbados.

With Rihanna.

OMG.

That's amazing. Please send pics.

No, Wade. I'm at the speed trap.

Already?

How did you get back so fast? Barbados is in the ocean!

Hang on, I think I got something.

Hey, buddy! Where's the fire?

Got kids living around here.

I thought that was kind of funny. Sorry.

- -

What?

Tom, we need you down on Main Street.

There's been a violent gang shoot-out.

- -

Just kidding. A duck stole a bagel.

But they do need it back.

Whoa, buddy, you almost got yourself killed out there.

What are you, some kind of adrenaline junkie?

It must be rough being slow all the time.

Tell you what.

Today is your lucky day.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Have you ever felt so alive?

This is great. You're doing amazing.

Oh, geez!

Good recovery.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

-Let's keep this our little secret, okay? -

You never saw me.

I was never here.

So what were you expecting?

A dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive?

Think again.

Because I am living my best life on Earth.

I've got a library…

a home gym,

and a state-of-the-art security system.

Oh, no.

And, if I'm ever discovered, I'll follow Longclaw's instructions

and use my rings to escape to a new planet.

A nice, safe little world filled only with mushrooms.

Gross, smelly mushrooms.

I hate mushrooms.

But let's not worry about all that.

This is Green Hills.

The greatest place on Earth.

These are my people and, dare I say,

I am their lovable space creature.

So, what if they don't know I exist?

My favorite person is the Donut Lord.

Protector of this town

and defender of all creatures, big and small.

Morning.

Donald. Daisy. Daffy.

Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.

She is super nice to animals

and strangely was born without bones.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

There is one person in town

-who's actually onto me. -

- -He calls me the Blue Devil.

I almost caught him last night.

Say hello to Crazy Carl.

- -

We have fun together.

I know you're out there!

And I know you're real!

No, I'm not!

Movie night is my favorite.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Yes! Keanu!

You are a national treasure.

-When I find you-- - Pop quiz, hotshot.

There's a bomb on a bus.

"Pop quiz, hotshot."

-It's a classic line. -

Basically, we're like a family.

Even though we haven't met yet.

You don't zink your

prolonged isolation is making you a bit crazy perhaps?

Crazy? Me?

No way, Doc. You got me all wrong.

And despite all these so-called friends of yours, deep down…

… you're still rather lonely?

Perhaps afraid you'll be alone forever?

Uh-uh. Hey!

No, no, no, no.

Get out of there. Come on.

Oh, come on! Get out of there!

Get out of there, you trash pandas.

Maddie, as Green Hills' most respected veterinarian,

what is the fastest way to exterminate a raccoon?

Hi, Ozzy. Hello! You could've seen-- You don't eat garbage, do you?

What's that?

-Is that what I think it is? -Uh-huh.

Open it.

Oh, it's kind of small. Is that bad?

Just open it.

"Dear Thomas:

We have reviewed your application to the San Francisco Police Department,

and pending interdepartmental review and background check,

we are happy to inform you

that you have been selected to join our team."

- Oh, my God! -Wow.

Oh, my God.

Ta-da!

"San Francisco Sucks."

Oh!

Wrong one!

Ta-da!

You never had a doubt, huh?

No! Mm-mmm.

-I can't believe this. -Oh, I know! You did it.

Hey, what are those?

Apartments for rent I found on Zillow.

I thought Ozzy and I could fly there tomorrow

and check out some neighborhoods.

I mean, this is all happening so fast.

Oh, man… It's the craziest thing.

You apply for the job, you get the job.

Well, pending a background check.

Oh, man. Hope they don't find out about that time you used the neighbor's Wi-Fi.

Correction: I'm still using the neighbor's Wi-Fi.

- -But, Maddie,

are you sure you're okay with this?

Thomas Michael Wachowski,

what did you do the entire time I was in veterinary school?

I worked a second job to pay the rent and--

A third job to pay tuition.

You sacrificed for me. I'm happy to sacrifice for you.

Babe, are you sure you're okay with this?

I mean, there's been a Wachowski protecting this town

for more than 50 years.

This is a big change.

I'm positive.