Hatsukoi Monster (First Love Monster)

C'mon, whaddya say, Crabita?

Stop it, Echizen Pete!

Argh! You're letting Crabbonio get inside your shell, aintcha?

What's inside my shell belongs to me!

Even if it is stuffed full of gunk.

Crabita? Crabitaaa!

Crabita, that gunk is basically like poop, right?

You're so tactless, Echizen Pete!

We're leaving, Kanade.

Atsushi!

See? I bought you a crab.

Yay! Crabita! Come home with me!

Good for you, Kanade! Crabbity!

Atsushi, thanks for Crabita!

Sheesh. Echizen crabs are pricey. I'll be billing your dad later.

Are you mad, Takeshi? Is it 'cause I made you buy Crabita?

No, I'm not mad.

Just thinking... that maybe I shouldn't have come.

But I couldn't have gone to Kaho's house without you.

Why would you say that?

I wonder. I don't know, either.

You're a grown-up, and you don't even understand yourself?

Yep.

Kaho, something's weird with Atsushi!

Huh? Oh, uh, really?

Kanade, your time is your life.

Giving stupid women your time is a waste of your life.

Oho! Treasure your life!

Exactly right!

That's his standard specs, all right.

Kanade?

Well, why not?

He did come all the way to Kanazawa,

and so much happened there.

Boy, did it ever...

Let's get married!

M-Married?

I'll marry you!

No?

N-No, it's not that—

Unfortunately, Kanade,

men have to be 18 and women 16 before they can marry.

Huh?! What's that about?

It's the law.

Ah. Then I guess that's that.

That was surprisingly fast!

Life is long.

No one picks a husband or wife in fifth grade.

You ought to be able to find someone better.

Someone better? Hmm...

Wait, what?

Is Kanade starting to have second thoughts?!

I don't know what a better woman would be like...

...but I'll take Kaho.

Kaho, if we can't get married, let's promise to get married.

Kanade...

Are you actually taking this seriously, Breadcrumb Girl?

Someday, when you end up an old spinster hag,

will you hunt him down, all "But you promised"?

I'm not really serious about this!

Why not?! You should be! I am!

But...

Then... let's pinky-swear, Kaho.

We hereby pinky-swear... that me and Kaho will get married.

If you lie, you'll swallow a thousand needles

and cut your pinky off!

It's a deal!

Uh-huh!

Kaho... a primary-schooler... in shorts...

B-Brother?

Shock is the usual reaction when your sister is dating a rimary-schooler

and promises to marry him.

If it were me, I'd want to die. In fact, I would die.

Let's go home, Kaho.

Yeah!

See ya, Kaho's brother! Next time I'll teach you hide-and-seek!

K-Kanade, c'mon...

Let's go, already!

Kanade...

I-Is he going to wake up anytime soon? If not...

My stomach can't take the strain of being alone with Taga!

Oh, right.

Your brother backed off awfully quickly.

Eh? I... don't think he... backed off, quite...

I see.

Could he have been worried about me?

No, not Taga, of all people.

But...

Psssssh...

Hey, Kanade—we're here.

Thanks for the ride, Atsushi.

Um, Taga?

Well, uh... thanks for everything.

So even a breadcrumb can say "thank you."

Taga... something is weird with him.

Kanade!

Bro! I'm home like Thunderdome!

I thought you went back to Osaka!

I may be the Naniwa Speed Coaster an' all,

but ridin' a flat bike all the way to Osaka?

Yeah, it ain't happenin'.

Oh, all right! Gotcha, pal!

Gotcha pal, potcha gal, gotcha pal, potcha gal...

Gotcha potcha pal!

Ah, back to Kasumi House!

Not to pee on your picnic, but carry this crab yourself, Kanade.

Eek!

C-Crabita!

Crabita! It's just a scratch!

Crabita!

Have we witnessed crab murder at the hand of a garbage girl?

Stay with me, Crabita!

Crabita! Don't die!

Taga's just Taga after, all.

Is that dinner? Wow, decadent!

No! Crabita's my friend!

I'm sorry, Kanade.

Kaho...

I didn't mean for such a terrible thing to happen to Crabita.

You, too, Crabita—I'm sorry.

It's... okay... peace...!

Crabita! Thank goodness!

Yeah, thank goodness!

Yow! Hot hot hot!

I'm gettin' scorched over here.

Yeah, our love's been tested, and now its flames burn at 10 billion degrees!

Yeah, but... y'all might be separated soon enough.

What do you mean, Bro?

Truth is, Kanade...

...your pops is puttin' on a weddin' right this very moment!

And from what I heard...

I'm his mother, even if we're not related by blood.

I'll be choosing Kanade's bride.

N-No...

I can't let that happen!

Kanade... No, of course.

We have just made up— to be torn apart now—

You're married to Mom— I can't let you do this, Dad!

Oh, so that's what he's mad about.

Yodel-odel-odel-odel yodel-ay-hee-hi-ho!

Ahem!

D-Do you pledge to love him with all your heart,

in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?

I do.

If there be anyone present with any objections to—

I object!

How could you betray Mom, Dad?!

How could you betray Mom, Dad?!

Kanade!

I'm sorry, Kanade.

Your dad went and fell in love with this woman here.

You can call me "Mama," Kanade.

I only have one mom, now and forever!

And a sumo wrestler like you...

I'm never gonna call you "Mom"!

Sumo wrestler? So that's Mafuyu in there?

What did you just say, Nikaidou Kaho?

Someone's about to dance with hard luck, all right!

A bride who won't obey her mother-in-law? I'll separate you myself.

'Kay?

This here is what they call a "stepmom."

A step toward being a mom? Is she transforming?

A trans woman? Tell me more.

Dad, why would you... and Mafuyu...!

Say something, Dad!

He wanted me not only to teach you as your tutor,

but to protect the house, too.

As your mom, I'll make sure you're safe from the evil hands

of indecent high-school girls!

Indecent?! No! I'm no such thing!

"Indecent high-school girl," eh?

If this garbage girl came out under that title,

would that be false advertising, Kouta?

Wh-Wh-Wh-Why are you asking me?

You have got tons of dirty DVDs in your room, right?

I don't, I don't, I don't!

You're the worst!

Kanade?

Even if we're apart, our hearts are always together—

mine and yours and Mom's!

Why, you... you put the "big" in "bigamy"!

Kanade... take a closer look at your father.

Huh?!

Dad! Your eyes!

Don't tell me an evil organization gave you augmentation surgery!

Mafuyu, put Dad back the way he was!

Eek! Shuugo, Kanade is scaring me!

It's all right—I'll protect you.

Hooray!

Grrr... Lend me your strength, Crabita!

All right: a blinding attack!

Eek! I'm frightened!

Huh?

Gah! My eyes! My eyes!

Arashi?! Dang it! Crabita: now for a slash attack!

Eek! Stop it!

Huh?

Kouta's down to his boxers!

'Kay, now turn to the front!

Hey! Quit looking!