Starlings

It's a boy. Welcome to the world, son.

Maybe you should get some sleep.

We're not together any more.

Reuben, what happened with you and Bell?

I did something very stupid but it's not what Bell thinks.

Julie's ended it. Go and get your bag. You're staying here.

Prowler!

Fergie, meet Loz. Me other son.

Alright.

Mum? Is Dad ill again?

No!

Gravy, I thought you were supposed to be giving us a hand.

I might take up this fishing lark. Didn't realise it was so much fun.

Peaceful, in't it?

Just going to the toilet.

Looks like it's you and me, then, Dad.

Morning. Morning, Fergie.

Finally, a strapping young man.

What's all this, then? Nearly 30 years' worth of competition wins.

How many competitions have you won?

In my glory days I was pulling in three, four wins a week.

Walkmans, cat food, a cement mixer.

Everything you could possibly need. Course its all online now.

Back then you had to cut out coupons, or finish a limerick.

Now it's just click and send. I'm lucky if I win one a month.

You won a keytar? I've won three. There's two more in there.

One of them's signed by Howard Jones.

I always wanted one of these when I was a kid. Try it on.

Suits you, Fergie. Yeah?

Yeah. You can have it if you like. Really?

For £45. Oh.

I'm not giving it away. Some of this stuff is gold.

I could get £80for that on eBay. Couldn't I, Dad? At least.

Go on, then.

We went in way too high.

Ta-da-da!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my new apprentice.

Oh, Charlie. You look great. Really?

What do you think of the tool belt? Present from the boss.

That is 1009% buffalo hide. 16 pockets and 100-year guarantee.

So don't lose that receipt. Good luck, Charlie.

You've got a left-handed screwdriver there? Dad's done that joke.

My first day your granddad sent me off for tartan paint

and a bubble for a spirit level. I'm still waiting.

Right, we're off.

Best of luck, kid. Now, you're going to be entering a very male world

and you're probably going to see things

a girl of your age shouldn't really see, or hear or smell even.

Mum, I'll be fine. Course you will.

It's a big thing, seeing my little girl off to work for the first time.

Yeah, but I'm a big girl now. I know.

And that's why I've popped a Penguin in your lunchbox.

Wagons roll.

That for me, then?

You wanted to see me? Yes, Reuben. Take a seat.

Now, as you may be aware, I've just had a baby.

So, I am unable to contribute to the upkeep and running of this house

in the way I used to. Why are you speaking in that scary voice?

Because what I'm about to say is important, Reuben.

You need to get a job. I've got a job.

No. You've got a van with your phone number on the back of it.

I'm talking about a proper job that brings in money.

And painting flames on a boy racer's Fiesta once a week

does not constitute a proper job.

I'm building up my portfolio. Client database and...

You've got responsibility now, Reuben.

Financial responsibility to me and Zac.

Well, how much did you spend on all these baby clothes?

Are you begrudging your only son a little pair of booties? A T-shirt?

A hand-woven Choktaw Indian papoose?

No, no, I'm not. But you have to give these things time, Bell.

No business makes money in its first two years. I know.

And you've been going three years.

I can't work for a while so you've got to pick up the baton.

Yeah, yeah, I will. I'll start looking. I promise.

No need.

Cleaning buses? You'd better give them a ring.

No, no. I can't split it.

I'm only doing bags of ten.

Yeah. It's from Chile.

It's good.

Yeah.

No, no, don't...

If you meet us in town with the cash, I'll give it to you then.

Well, it dims alright most of the time

but sometimes when I turn it right the way up,

all the downstairs lights go off and the oven starts beeping.

What do you think that might be? Sounds like your house is haunted.

I'm joking, Mrs Wisley.

No, it sounds like there's a loose connection in the switch.

We'll whip the cover off, check the wiring and we'll fix your kettle.

Oh, me kettle isn't broke. Stick it on then, love.

Right, Charlie. I'm gonna need the three-mil flathead.

That's the orange one and...

Oh, you're good.

Knock, knock.

Bought you some more books Oh, cheers. Any more Binchys?

Listen, Jan, thanks for letting me use Bessie.

I will pay my way as soon as I'm back on my feet.

Don't mention it. Mi casa, su casa.

Right.

So I'm thinking about using that end for my dining room come living room

come recreation area and this end as a bed.

You've got it looking nice. Yeah.

Oh!

Where d'you get that chair from?

It was in the garage. Gravy said I could have it. I should've asked you

It's just that we don't really use that chair any more.

No, that's what I thought. That's why I got it. No, I'm being silly.

So, home sweet home, eh?

Yeah. It's just nice to make a fresh start.

Breaking up with Julie is the best thing that could've happened to me.

I feel like I can breathe again, y'know?

And being here with you guys,

surrounded by all the love, it's great.

Every time I look at you and Uncle Terry together

it really brings it home to me that...

I'll never have that.

Yeah, that's why we don't use that chair.

Hm?

It's the Crying Chair. The what?

That's what my mum called it.

It's been in the family for nobody really knows how long.

But it's the maddest thing - anyone who sits in it

always bursts into tears. That's why we slung it in the garage.

Gravy should have mentioned it. He never.

Right. Well, I'll leave you to your Binchys, then.

Don't tell anyone about the crying.

Does anyone want another tea?

We're all done here now, Mrs Wisley.

Ooh, that was quick. I'll just nip upstairs and get my purse.

What do you reckon, Charlie? What's a job like this cost?

Er. Forty quid?

No. It's only a loose wire.

The standard price is a couple of cups of tea and a plate of biscuits.

Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. Ooh, is that the time?

It is three minutes past twelve

and we've broken for lunch, I'm afraid.

But if you have any problems with our beverage and biscuit-based pricing,

you can contact head office. But not during the lunch hour.

Look after yourself.

Bye.

Got the instructions?

How many nautical miles has she done?

It's never been used. I won it in a Word Search.

Well, if you think you can find it cheaper somewhere else,

go somewhere else. Yeah, bye.

Here, Gravy, I hear you told Fergie he could use the Crying Chair.

Yeah. Did he cry? Course he did.

How does it work?

Morning, chaps. You got a tape measure?

There. Cheers.

Right, tape measure, the guy's phone number. What else?

You alright, Loz? Yeah, fine.

I just got 1001 things to do for the exhibition so...

You lot all still coming? Yeah, wouldn't miss it for the world, son.

Great. I better get down there and measure up the space.

I'll come with you if you like.

Yeah? That would be lovely actually, Dad. Bit of moral support.

You'll be fine, Loz. I've never put any of my stuff up for sale before.

What if I don't sell anything? Bit of a damning indictment, innit?

You just need to put up the stuff you like

and sod what anyone else thinks. That's what an artist does.

No, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Sod 'em, eh?

That's it.

I've just finished a painting I'm quite keen on.

Might put that in. It's called Thirty Days Of Hurt.

What's that one, Loz?

Well, for a month every time I became cross or frustrated

I painted my fist a different colour

and then just punched the canvas.

See. There you go. What's not to like there?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what? I'm going to take her. Would you accept £400 cash?

Why not?

Is that is that what I think it is? That's a Sprite Major, isn't it?

I think so. We just call her Bessie. I don't suppose Bessie's for sale?

Not really. That's where my nephew lives.

Do you mind if I poke my head in?

Be my guest.

Hey, here we go. It's all here.

We had one of these. Same stove.

Still got that...

Hey. Still working. That brings back memories.

Hey, I wonder if it's got the same...

Hey! The secret compartment. Used to hide my Rolos in there.

You'd get four packets in there. You had to, my brother around.

Old Greedy Guts we used to call him. Ha! Lovely. Lovely memories.

Summer holidays seemed to stretch on forever.

Crabs at the Cromer Beach Cafe,

sliding in the clay at Weston Super Mare.

The long hot summer of '76.

When she was so swiftly taken from us.

Dad was never the same after that.

None of us were really.

Well, that's not a bad morning's work, Charlie, eh?

Three little jobs, done and dusted.

Cheers, Dad. Cheers.

I quite like working like this. Little job here, little job there.