Robot Chicken

>> IT'S ALIVE!

>> IT'S ALIVE!

>> AND I WORRY ABOUT WHERE THIS CULTURE IS HEADING.

>> SHUT UP, YOU OLD BITCH!

>> BUT WHY EARTH, JOR-EL?

THEY'RE THOUSANDS OF YEARS BEHIND US.

>> HE WILL NEED THAT ADVANTAGE.

AND I WILL INSTRUCT HIM, GUIDE HIM, SEE MY LIFE THROUGH HIS

EYES AS HE WILL SEE IT THROUGH MINE.

GOODBYE, MY SON.

AND FOR SOME REASON, THEY PUT THE BIG FORK ON THE INSIDE, NEXT

TO THE SALAD FORK.

SALAD IN GENERAL WILL BE DISCUSSED LATER ON IN CHAPTER 9.

CHAPTER 42 -- TIPPING.

THIS IS OPEN TO DEBATE, AND THERE'S NO REAL RIGHT ANSWER.

BUT THE CONSENSUS IS 15% TO 20%.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S THE "DIRTY SANCHEZ."

THIS WAS A VERY POPULAR DANCE MOVE ON KRYPTON, AND FROM WHAT I

CAN TELL, THEY HAVE IT ON EARTH, AS WELL.

TO CONTINUE, FLIP TO SIDE "B."

GOOD LUCK, MY SON.

IF I'VE CALCULATED CORRECTLY, YOU HAVE TRAVELED THROUGH

12 GALAXIES TO LAND IN A SMALL TOWN IN KANSAS, NEAR A ROAD

WHERE -- >> I LOVE BEING A WUZZLE!

WE GET TO BE TWO ANIMALS AT ONCE!

TAKE ME -- I'M A BUMBLEBEE AND A LION!

>> AND I'M AN ELEPHANT AND A KANGAROO.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT GROSSES ME OUT, BUMBLELION?

HOW'D YOUR PARENTS GET TOGETHER?

>> OW! WHAT THE HELL?!

YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST STING ME, YOU LITTLE BUMBLEBEE?

WOW, YOU'RE CUTE, LITTLE BUMBLEBEE.

HUH, LITTLE CUTIE. COME HERE.

OH, YEAH.

OUCH, OHH, OUCH, OHH, OW!

STING ME IN THE HOLE! OW!

STING ME IN THE HOLE! OUCH!

STING ME IN THE HOLE! OUCH!

>> UGH!

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, ELEROO?

>> NOW, THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE.

[ KANGAROO SHRIEKS, ELEPHANT TRUMPETS ]

>> UGH!

HOW ABOUT YOU, DONKEYHUMAN?

>> EEEE-AWWWW!

AS FAR AS I KNOW -- >> ACTUALLY, I DON'T WANT TO

KNOW.

>> UM, ME NEITHER.

UM, YEAH, I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.

>> WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE IN JAPAN, JOSH!

>> YEAH! WHICH ONE'S JOSH?

ALL THE GUYS HERE KIND OF LOOK LIKE THE SAME GENERIC DOUCHE.

>>

>> WOW, THAT IS REALLY TASTELESS.

>> UH, IT'S ONLY BEEN EIGHT YEARS SINCE 9/11, FOR GOD'S

SAKE!

>> WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, BRO?!

MAN! CAN ANYBODY ANSWER THAT?

WHAT IS THAT MONSTER THINKING?

>> >> BOO! WAY TOO SOON, DUDE!

>> TERRIBLE TASTE, MAN!

>> BOO! TOO SOON!

>>

>> BOO!

>> AW, YOU SAD BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO SMASH HERE?

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS ALREADY SMASHED!

BY PEOPLE WHO HATE OUR FREEDOM!

SO WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE IS VERY, VERY OFFENSIVE!

>> WHAT'S IT DOING?

>> IT'S DESECRATING THE SITE!

>> NO, LOOK!

IT'S DOING SOMETHING ELSE!

>> HEY, "CLOVERFIELD" MONSTER!

>> AHHHHHHH!

>> I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.

>> WOW! ERIN ESURANCE!

>> THAT'S RIGHT!

ESURANCE HANDLES YOUR INSURANCE NEEDS, ALL ONLINE!

JUST QUOTE...

BUY...

AND PRINT!

WITH ESURANCE, YOU'RE ALWAYS COVERED!

>> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU --

OW! WHAT THE

>> OH, SORRY, YOU HAVE A FOUR-BULLET DEDUCTIBLE.

>> I HAVE A WHAT?!

>> YOU KEPT YOUR MONTHLY PREMIUM

LOW BY CHOOSING A HIGHER DEDUCTIBLE.

IT'S A RISK YOU HAD TO WEIGH UP FRONT.

>> AAAAAAH!

I WANT TO CHANGE MY POLICY!

>> NO PROBLEM!

YOUR NEW POLICY WILL GO INTO EFFECT THE FIRST OF THE MONTH!

>> OHHHHH!

>> THAT'S FOUR BULLETS!

ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU TODAY?

WELL, YOU'RE ALSO COVERED BY OUR AWESOME LIFE INSURANCE, SO YOUR

ELDERLY MOTHER IS IN FOR QUITE A WINDFALL...

OR SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN, IF YOU HADN'T MISSED YOUR FEBRUARY

PAYMENT.

>> IT'S YOUR GREATEST FEAR.

IT FILLS YOU WITH DREAD.

>> AAAAAAAAH!!