Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas

>> Wyatt: WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

IT'S 11 P.M.

WHICH, IF YOU'RE STONED RIGHT

NOW, MEANS IT'S STORY TIME.

SO WHY DON'T WE GET YOU TUCKED

IN.

WHO'S READY FOR BED?

ONCE UPON A TIME IN INDIA, THERE

WAS A CITY THAT WAS OVERRUN WITH

SNAKES.

THERE WERE RED SNAKES AND BLUE

SNAKES AND SNAKES WITH HATS AND

SNAKES WITH BATS AND EVERY

SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD MURDER

YOU WITH THEIR TEETH, 'CAUSE

THEY'RE FUCKING SNAKES!

AUTHORITIES WANTED TO GET RID OF

THE SNAKES, SO THEY OFFERED A

REWARD TO ANYONE WHO BROUGHT

THEM THE SKIN OF A DEAD COBRA.

AND ONCE PEOPLE REALIZED THEY'D

GET PAID FOR DEAD SNAKES, THEY

STARTED BREEDING THEM JUST TO

GET THE REWARD.

OR THEY JUST WANTED TO WATCH

COBRAS FUCK.

IN TRYING TO

GET RID OF SNAKES, THE CITY

ENDED UP WITH A WORSE PROBLEM

THAN IT STARTED WITH.

AND NOW, THIS ISN'T JUST A GREAT

STORY TO SCARE CHILDREN INTO

PISSING THEIR BEDS AT NIGHT.

>> I PEED.

>> Wyatt: IT'S AN IDEA USED IN

ECONOMICS CALLED 'THE COBRA

EFFECT,' AND IT'S A CLASSIC

EXAMPLE OF HOW INCENTIVIZING

CERTAIN BEHAVIORS CAN HAVE

SERIOUS UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES.

IN THE WORKPLACE, THAT CAN

HAPPEN WHEN JOB PERFORMANCE GETS

TIED TO HITTING SPECIFIC

BENCHMARKS AND OTHER METRICS.

SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT

METRICS.

METRICS ARE A WAY TO MEASURE

HOW EFFECTIVE SOMEONE IS AT

THEIR JOB BASED ON NUMERICAL

GOALS.

SO, FOR POLICE OFFICERS, IT

COULD BE HOW MANY TICKETS THEY

WRITE.

OR FOR JOURNALISTS, HOW MANY

CLICKS AN ARTICLE GETS ONLINE.

OR FOR MAUREEN, HOW MANY

HUSBANDS HAVE TO DIE UNDER

MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES BEFORE

PEOPLE START ASKING QUESTIONS.

>> HOW DARE YOU?

I LOVED ARCHIBALD.

>> Wyatt: LOOK, METRICS DON'T

JUST AFFECT HOW A SINGLE PERSON

DOES THEIR JOB OR ENDS THEIR

FIFTH MARRIAGE.

WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT

EDUCATION ALL SEASON AND METRICS

PLAY A BIG ROLE THERE.

FOR DECADES, THE K-12 EDUCATION

SYSTEM HAS BEEN HEAVILY IMPACTED

BY STANDARDIZED TESTING.

IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE TEACHER

PAY AND SCHOOL CLOSURES, THEY

CAN BE TIED TO STUDENT TEST

SCORES.

WHICH IS WHY, KIDS, IT'S

ALWAYS BEST TO ANSWER C.

IT STANDS FOR "CORRECT."

TEACHERS AND

ADMINISTRATORS CAN GO TO EXTREME

LENGTHS TO HIT THOSE BENCHMARKS.

THIS NEXT STORY TAKES PLACE IN

EL PASO.

ONCE UPON A TIME, A SCHOOL

DISTRICT REALLY WANTED HIGHER

TEST SCORES.

SO, THEY ALLEGEDLY KEPT

NON-NATIVE ENGLISH-SPEAKING

STUDENTS FROM TAKING THE TESTS.

AND AS MESSED UP AS

THAT IS, IT'S NOT THE ONLY

EXAMPLE OF CHEATING OUT THERE.

IN ATLANTA, AT LEAST FORTY-FOUR

SCHOOLS AND ALMOST A HUNDRED AND

EIGHTY EMPLOYEES WERE INVOLVED

IN ONE OF THE NATION'S LARGEST

SCHOOL CHEATING SCANDALS.

11 PEOPLE WERE FOUND GUILTY OF

RACKETEERING, WITH SOME

CONVICTED OVER CHANGING

STUDENTS' ANSWERS ON TESTS.

IN EL PASO AND ATLANTA, PEOPLE

WERE ACTUALLY PUTTING IN A LOT

OF WORK.

LIKE, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU

COORDINATE A CHEATING SCANDAL

WITH FORTY-FOUR SCHOOLS?

DO YOU START A PHONE TREE?

OR MAYBE IT'S AN EVITE

SITUATION?

>> Wyatt: WHAT THOSE EDUCATORS

DID WAS WRONG, BUT METRICS

INCENTIVIZED THOSE CRIMES.

AND METRICS CAN ALSO INCENTIVIZE

PERFECTLY LEGAL BEHAVIOR THAT

STILL HURTS STUDENTS.

SOME SCHOOLS HAVE TO SPEND HOURS

DOING TEST PREP RATHER THAN

TEACHING KIDS IMPORTANT LIFE

LESSONS, LIKE HOW IT'S WRONG TO

MURDER YOUR HUSBAND FOR HIS

INSURANCE POLICY.

>> OF THE SYSTEM FAILED ME, WHY

IT

>> Wyatt: AND YOU MIGHT BE

SAYING, "OH LOOK AT WYATT WITH

HIS WOOD PANELED WALLS AND

HIPPIE IDEAS.

I BET HE THINKS KIDS SHOULD JUST

GET TO CHOOSE THEIR OWN GRADES."

BUT SOME STATES ARE STARTING TO

RECOGNIZE THE FAULTS OF

OVER-EMPHASIZING METRICS.

LIKE IN NEW MEXICO, WHERE

THE GOVERNOR RECENTLY SIGNED AN

EXECUTIVE ORDER TO GET RID OF

STATEWIDE STANDARDIZED TEST.

IT'S NOT THAT METRICS ARE

INHERENTLY BAD.

IT'S JUST THAT TOO OFTEN TESTS

GET USED AS A TARGET TO HIT

RATHER THAN AS A TOOL TO HELP

FIGURE OUT WHAT STUDENTS DO AND

DO NOT KNOW.

LIKE LOOK, THINK BACK TO

SCHOOLS IN THE 40s --

OH NO, NOT THE SEGREGATED PART.

IN IOWA, STANDARDIZED

TESTS USED TO BE GIVEN AT THE

BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.

TESTING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE

YEAR SEEMS LIKE IT COULD HELP

EDUCATORS SEE WHERE EACH STUDENT

IS AND HOW TO TAILOR INSTRUCTION

TOWARDS THEIR NEEDS.

AS OPPOSED TO TAKING DRASTIC

MEASURES LIKE IN EL PASO OR

ATLANTA OUT OF FEAR THAT KIDS

WON'T HIT CERTAIN BENCHMARKS.

>> OR DRASTIC MEASURES LIKE WHEN

A SCANTRON MACHINE COMES OFF THE

BALCONY ONTO YOUR HUSBAND'S

WHEELCHAIR.

>> MAUREEN, WHAT?

>> I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.

>> THE FENDER BENDER.

A SLOW-MOTION CATASTROPHE THAT

CAN RUIN AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON.

EVEN THE TINIEST OF TAPS,

RESULTING IN NO DAMAGE, WILL NOW

TAKE HOURS OF TIME TO RESOLVE.

TWENTY MINUTES OF SCREAMING

OBSCENITIES.

THIRTY MINUTES OF SEARCHING FOR

INSURANCE INFORMATION.

AN HOUR OF WAITING FOR THE

POLICE TO FILE A REPORT.

AND THE REST OF THE DAY

WONDERING WHAT SINGLE PAST

DECISION BUTTERFLY-EFFECTED YOU

INTO THIS BLEAK REALITY.

BUT WHAT IF WEREN'T SO

COMPLICATED?

THE MOST ELEGANT WAY TO EXCHANGE

INFORMATION IS THE BUMP.

SIMPLY TAP TWO PHONES TOGETHER

AND THE DEED IS DONE.

WHAT IF THE DATA TRANSFER

TECHNOLOGY FROM MOBILE PHONES

WAS REPURPOSED FOR CAR BUMPERS?

CONSIDER...

"WREXCHANGE."

INTELLIGENT DATA STORAGE IN THE

FRONT AND REAR BUMPERS OF A CAR.

NO NEED TO WAIT.

JUST KEEP DRIVING ALONG, KNOWING

THAT ONE'S DATA HAS BEEN

EXCHANGED AND INSURANCE IS

TAKING CARE OF ALL THAT

TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE DRIVING.