The World's End

It's That Man Again!

Despite his meandering maneuverability,

his strategical susceptibility,

his infantile indefatigability...

and his tendency towards tantrum capability, he still remains...

A-An imaginary sound of music.

A-An imaginary sound of music.

Ever had one of those nights

that starts out like any other, but ends up being the best night of your life?

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then we'll begin.

It was June the 22nd, 1990, our final day of school.

There was Oliver Chamberlain, Peter Page, Steven Prince, Andy Knightley and me.

They called me The King. Because my name's Gary King.

Ollie was funny, he fancied himself as a bit of a player, but really, he was all mouth.

We called him O-Man

because he had a birthmark on his forehead that looked like a six.

He loved it.

Pete was the baby of the group.

He wasn't the kind of kid we'd usually hang out with, but he was good for a laugh.

And he was absolutely minted.

Steve was a pretty cool guy. We jammed together, chased the girls.

- I think he saw us as rivals. - - Sweet, really.

And Andy. Andy was my wingman.

The one guy I could rely on to back me up.

He loved me, and I'm not being funny, but I loved him, too.

There was nothing we were gonna miss about school.

Maybe Mr. Shepherd.

He was definitely one of the good guys.

He used to ask me what I wanted to do with my life,

I told him I just wanted to have a good time.

He thought that was funny. It wasn't meant to be.

Not that night.

Newton Haven was our hometown. Our playground, our universe.

And that night it was the site of a heroic quest.

The aim? To conquer The Golden Mile.

Twelve pubs along a legendary path of alcoholic indulgence.

There was The First Post, The Old Familiar,

The Famous Cock, The Cross Hands, The Good Companions,

The Trusty Servant, The Two Headed Dog, The Mermaid, The Beehive,

The King's Head, The Hole in the Wall...

All before reaching our destiny, The World's End.

We took my car into town.

I called it The Beast because she was pretty hairy.

- And so, our journey into manhood began. -

We were off. We didn't waste any time.

We hit pub one and we hit it hard.

There was drinking, there was fun, there was controversy,

there were ladies, there were shots, there was drama,

and of course, there was drinking.

By pub five, we were feeling invincible

and decided to purchase some herbal refreshment

from a man we called The Reverend Green.

Pint six put O-Man out of commission, so we carried on without him.

Good thing, I bumped into his sister in the next pub,

we went into the disableds and I bumped into her again.

Sam tagged along for a while, but then I had to let her go.

I had another date that night and her name was Amber.

Nine pints in and it was us against the world.

Things got mental in The Beehive,

so we repaired to the bowls club

or as we liked to call it, The Smokehouse, which is when it all went fuck up.

Everyone got para and Pete chucked a whitey, so we had to bench him.

In the end, we blew off the last three pubs and headed for the hills.

I remember sitting up there,

blood on my knuckles, beer down my shirt, sick on my shoes,

seeing the orange glow of a new dawn break

and knowing in my heart, life would never feel this good again.

And you know what?

It never did.

Thank you, Gary. That was very enlightening.

Would anyone like to add anything or maybe challenge Gary?

Are you disappointed?

About what?

That you didn't make it to The World's End?

No.

Just what is it that you want to do?

We want to be free!

We want to be free to do what we want to do!

And we wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time,

and that's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna have a good time.

We're gonna have a party.

- -

Just what is it that you want to do?

And we wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time...

- She's a beauty. - Yeah, but she's no Beast.

Hello, Peter.

Jesus! Gary?

The once and future King.

- Were you outside my house this morning? - No.

I could have sworn I saw you on my street.

I've never been to Bishop's Gardens.

How you doing, man?

- I'm well. You? - Yeah, never better.

- How is, uh... - Vanessa?

- No. Your wife? - Vanessa.

- Yeah. How's she? - She's good.

- Have you had sex yet? - We have two children.

- Ooh, twice. Get you, fuck machine. -

We haven't changed, have we?

What's he doing here?

- It's all right, Dad. We're fine. - Hi, Mr. P.

So, Gary, how can I help you?

- He looks well. - Are you looking to buy a car?

Uh... No. I'm afraid the end is nigh.

- What? - The World's End.

What do you mean?

You know what I mean. One night. Five guys. Twelve pubs.

Let battle commence.

You want to try that again?

Yeah, isn't that something you've always wanted?

- Not particularly. No. - Look. Peter.

We didn't make it before, but this time, we're gonna see it through to the bitter end.

Or lager end.

- We? - Yeah, the whole gang.

- Even Andy? - Why wouldn't Andy be coming?

- Well, I thought that after the accident... - Not an issue. He is in.

What we wanna know is are you?

I'd have to check with Vanessa.

- Who's Vanessa? - My wife.

- Since when have you had to check with your wife? - Since we got married.

Oh, come on, man, don't you miss it?

The laughs, the camaraderie, the fights,

the hangovers so fierce it feels like your head's full of ants.

Maybe the first two.

It begins. What's your new number?

Same one I've had for 10 years.

Yeah. What's that one?

This entire row here, they'll all have dormer windows above the front elevation.

Who's the helmet without an helmet?

That's Gary King.

Knock, knock.

What are you doing here, Gary?

You're supposed to say, "Who's there?"

I can see who's there. It's you.

- I like what you've done with the place. Bit drafty.

- How's Selina? - We divorced 10 years ago.

Yeah, I know, just wondered how she was.

She's doing very well, apparently.

Have you got anyone else on the go?

Yeah, I do, as it happens. She's a fitness instructor. Twenty-six.

Pedophile. I'm kidding. I'd love to meet her sometime.

No. Why are you here?

Haven't you heard? We're getting the band back together.

I'm not your bass player anymore.

No, I mean we're getting the boys back together.

We can get the band back together as well if you want.

No, we can't. You sold my guitar to buy drugs.

I've always wondered, what is that thing over the door called?

That's a lintel.

So, the plan is, we're going to go back to Newton Haven,

we are gonna do The Golden Mile

and this time, we are gonna make it to The World's End.

Everybody's in.

What, even Andy?

- Oh, you better believe it, big balls.

- Andy's going drinking with you? - With us.

Think about it, go back to the old town, sink a few pints...

- Twelve pints. - Yeah.

- Twelve pints is insane. - - I know!

What's this all about, Gary?

It's about closure, you know.

Why should getting older affect something as important as friendship?

- A lot's changed since then, Oliver. - Right.

This is our chance to take stock.

A stock take? You make it sound so much fun.

Come on, O-Man. Isn't that something you'd like?

What I'd really like is for you to take your DMs off the sofa.

Look. If you're worried about me, don't be. All right?

I am here to tell you that Gary King is back on the horse.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're back on the horse?

No, I mean I'm back on the bike.

- What is bike? - What do you mean?

- What is bike slang for? - Bicycle.

- I'm lost. - Don't be.

- Okay. - Listen.

This is our chance to finally finish what we started.

Come on, man, it'll be fucking mental!

I think we're all done. So...

Well, how do you like the property?

Yeah. It's amazing. Amazing location.

Fantastic. Fantastic aspects.

It's just... It's just a little bit out of our price range.

- He'll knock some off for you. - What's it down for?

- 1.2 million. - Fuck off!

You have my card.

Gary, WTF?

It's good to see you, too, O-Man.

- Please don't call me O-Man. - Sure.

- Hey, how's your sister? - She's fine.

- She talk about me? - No.

So, Friday, we'll all go down together.

Make a road trip of it, I'll drive.

Don't think I can. I think I've got a doctor's appointment.

Yeah, you do. With Dr. Ink!

- You know, Dr. Ink? - Yeah. "Drink." I get it.

Come on. It wouldn't be the same without the O-Man.

Jesus.

You can see the guys, see how they're doing. Tell them how you're doing.