Grantchester

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I want you to keep it clean.

No kicking, no biting and absolutely no bad language.

Are we understood?

On your marks.

Get set.

Go!

Christ on a bike. It's like Friday night in the cells.

They're kids, Geordie.

I see one. I see an egg.

For the most part anyway.

Look at all this.

Isn't it wonderful?

It is wonderful.

-You did this, Alphy. -With an awful lot of help.

Modest to a fault.

Aye, aye.

-Isn't that the girl? -What girl?

Oh, don't look. I said, don't look.

Ah, she's waving.

-It didn't work out then? -We didn't have much in common.

-Shame. Good, sturdy hips. -Make nice babies.

It was one drink.

Mmm-hmm.

And I was nothing but gentlemanly.

-I've got a nickname for him. - Oh, tell us.

Please don't tell them.

The good Reverend Love 'Em and Leave 'Em.

Very good. I like it.

I'm not that bad.

-Rosa, from the Eagle. -Okay, so there was Rosa.

Lilian from the station.

We went to the cinema, once.

There was the redhead.

Okay, but that was just a brief...

Fling?

-Dalliance. -Mistake.

I'm not that bad, okay?

Morning, Reverend.

Oh, morning. How are we?

Morning.

Morning.

- -

-Mmm-hmm. -Argh.

The end is nigh.

The end is nigh.

It's a high-jacking. That's what this is.

Easter has been hijacked by the devil incarnate.

Morning, Reg. How are we?

How are we? Doomed to hellfire for all eternity,

that's how we are.

No donkey ride for you then?

You know what Easter was when I was a child?

You were there when they rolled the stone away, weren't you?

Wake up, pray. Church, pray. Home...

Pray?

None of this fiddle-faddle.

They're just having fun, Reg.

What's the sacrifice of our good Lord and saviour,

Jesus Christ, got to do with fun?

What's it got to do with bonnets and eggs and bunnies?

This country has gone to the dogs.

-You know why? -Is it the bunnies?

We don't know who we are any more.

It used to be we were God-fearing, rule-abiding.

Dignified. Hmm.

Children would be seen, not heard,

not flouncing around screaming blue murder.

But look, they're here, Reg. They're coming to church.

That's got to be a good thing, hasn't it?

So you'll be telling them all about Jesus, will you?

Of course.

The nails in the hands, the suffering?

Maybe not so much emphasis on the suffering.

Reg, why don't you come to the service?

I'd love you to be there.

Until Easter is celebrated in the solemnity it deserves,

I will not step foot inside that church.

Milk, two sugars?

And a biscuit, if you can stretch to it.

Hey, I can do better than that.

Fiddle-faddle.

There he is, my big silly bunny.

You know my misgivings about this, Mavis.

Oh, keep it on, Reg.

He looks ever so sweet. Doesn't he look sweet?

Very sweet.

I hope he hasn't been bending your ear, Vicar.

Not at all. Enjoy yourselves.

Oh, come here.

He's a very good listener, you know,

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, Alphy, you're going to be last.

Yeah, all right, Jack.

Welcome to our inaugural Easter family service.

The first of many, I hope.

When the disciples went to the tomb

early that Easter Sunday morning,

they expected to mourn for their friend.

But he was gone.

And the Angels told them, "Jesus is risen.

"He loved us so much that he lived and died for us."

Is there any greater love than that?

I am so blessed

to be able to share that love with you,

-Shh. - in our beautiful church

Didn't say anything.

But you was going to.

Shh.

To be able to share my first year in Grantchester

with so many wonderful people.

Know that I am always here to serve,

to advise and to listen.

I am in the midst of an existential crisis.

Okay, any idea what set that off?

The hat.

-A computer has stolen my job. -A what?

Do you know how many days I spent on this hat? Five.

Do you know how many days she spent on that hat?

Five?

It's the size of the staff room.

-The hat? -The computer.

Used to be I was trusted with the payroll.

Now the computer does it.

I loved doing the payroll.

She hated doing the payroll.

I said to her, "Cath, times change."

Did she listen to me?

I have been replaced by a machine.

Of course she didn't.

Daniel is about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

-I'm just so... -Completely over the moon.

I've done it, Alphy, I've arranged to meet my parents.

The parents who shunned him.

Mark my words, families never bring happiness.

I'm so happy. I can't tell you how happy I am.

-I am... -Bored...

I am bored with myself, Alphy.

I am a boring person.

Am I boring?

-Lovely service. -Thank you.

You are many things,

but you're not boring.

-Thank you, Vicar. -Give my regards to Reg.

Will do.

No one listens to me any more.

Not Cathy, not Larry. Certainly not the kids.

Not even you, apparently.

-Thank you for coming. -Wouldn't miss it for the world.

-Don't start. -I'm all for it.

-Hi. -Fling away.

Fling away, till you're all flung out.

If that's what you want, of course.

Is that what you want?

Everyone, stay back!

Stay back!

Reg. It's my Reggie.

Just like that fella of yours.

What fella?

Jesus.

I'd say there's zero chance Reg is rising again.

Did he seem depressed to you? Suicidal?

Short-tempered, maybe, but... Depressed?

Then again, he does have a sign saying "The end is nigh," so...

It doesn't imply he was full of the joys of spring.

No.

They only got engaged a few months back.

It's quite a cheery thing to do.

-Nice girl? -Very.

But?

I...

He was such a gloomy man and she's a...

Bit of a floozy.

Geordie, you can't say that.

Well, what do you know? I just did.

Aye, aye.

Bullet casing.

Well, that's to be expected, isn't it?

For a suicide, one is.

Two, on the other hand...

Keep it, please.

Oh, sorry, we were just, erm...

The table has been a bit wobbly.

Yes. Much better now, though.

Thank you, Detective.

You stay where I can see you.

Now, please take a seat at our newly fixed table.

I don't think they were fixing the table.

Now...

About your fella Reg.

-He was my fiance. -Your fiance?