Shameless

For those of you who were too fucking busy,

this is what happened last week on Shameless:

Hey, you filthy fucking Portuguese. Stan's losing his marbles.

What happened? I know you fucked my sister!

You're right, he shouldn't be left alone up there.

Call his daughter. I'm gonna come down there and I'm gonna kick your ass!

He wants to stay in his apartment.

Where the hell've you been? Brazil.

We should get together, have lunch, just to catch up.

I'm seeing someone. STEVE: So am I. Bring him. A double date.

Estefania doesn't really speak English.

You're married? Ah, si!

You married a drug lord's daughter, to hang onto your ear?

I missed you.

Hey! Okay.

Whoa.

Was it weird seeing Jimmy? Who's Jimmy?

Jimmy is Steve.

V, they're gone. Ethel and Jonah.

All their stuff is gone.

His clothes, her suitcase, gone.

Fuck you, Lip!

I'll make West Point on my own. I don't need you.

She's a married mother, publicly flaunting

the geriatric she's sleeping with.

Come on, I need an accomplice.

When I tell Hal we're going out for a girls' night,

then I won't be lying.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm your grandmother, sweetheart.

Grammy showed up. Grammy's back.

Jesus... They let you out?

Surprised to see you, Peg.

Thought you were doing 20 to life.

I will fuck you up!

Oh my God, there's a woman...

Shit. Shit! ...with a gun.

She's at a party, she's shooting people!

Go ahead and pull it!

Do it! Do it!

...and I'm gonna kick your ass.

Put some pants on, man. I got pants on.

Mm.

Babe, stop.

Come on, you know I hate that.

I'm going to stick my thumb in your butt if you don't stop.

Mm.

Now we're talking.

Morning, sunshine.

Who let you in? Carl.

: We don't let people in the house before I wake up!

Which guy doesn't like a finger up the butt?

: What are you doing here?

I came to invite you out in David's boat today.

I thought you weren't allowed on the boat.

Isn't it the wife's?

Yeah, but they're in Indiana.

Dropping one of the brats off at college.

Steve's back in town. Not sure what to do about it.

Bring him. Boat's got a Jacuzzi.

Nah. Kids start school Tuesday. I got a lot to do to get ready.

So, come for an hour!

Everybody says that, but it never happens.

I'll kick you out after an hour, then.

Shouldn't you be getting your kids ready for school, too?

Hal's on it. He loves doing that crap.

So you'll come?

I'll think about it.

I gotta take a shower now, wash your slobber off me.

You know, men pay lots of money for that slobber.

Oh, yeah. Thanks for the visual.

Mm. Go make yourself useful. I need coffee.

You look like shit, Frank. You just getting in?

Just got up. It's 7:00 a.m.

Hurry up in there. I gotta help my mother out of bed

and take her to the bathroom. Really putting a damper

on your drink, puke, sleep schedule, huh?

I can't take it anymore.

Your problem. Not ours.

What about this little guy?

Hey, fella!

Ah, I don't know, V.

Oh, come on, he's so cute.

How could anyone have abandoned him?

And his tongue is almost as good as yours.

A dog is not going to

fill the hole in my heart.

When you going to get over this, Kev?

Doesn't it bother you that Ethel's gone?

It bothers me we're not gonna get the money anymore.

How could she just leave us like that?

Because she's an ungrateful bitch.

All right, stop. I'm serious.

If she doesn't give a shit about us,

why should we give a shit about her?

She was family.

Well, we have to move on.

I liked having someone depending on me.

Well, then pick out a stupid dog!

Dogs are too much responsibility.

A kid isn't? A cat, then.

It's gonna piss everywhere.

Well... we're not leaving here without something.

Fine.

We'll get that.

This baby's pushing on my bladder.

Morning.

Ah, Jesus.

Not again.

("Kiss From a Rose" by Seal begins)

Knowing you were peeing made me horny.

You're a sex addict.

Knowing I have a cold sore makes you horny.

Look at me.

Look at me, I'm about to come.

Look at me. Oh, babe.

Oh. Oh, baby.

Oh, baby!

(sighs)

Why do you always do that?

What? Cry?

: It's a release.

It's weird.

I can't help it.

I just feel so close to you.

It's like I'm giving you all my hurt and joy

to hold and protect.

So gay.

Be nice to have a little Jean Nate in the water.

I'll get some tomorrow.

And stop breathing all over me.

I want to go to Indian Bingo today.

Feeling lucky.

Can't.

Got a big day planned.

Where?

At the Alibi?

We can go after you take me to Indian Bingo.

Was thinking...

we should look for a new place for you to live today.

Why the hell would I want to do that?

Be a lot more comfortable.

Walk-in tub.

One of those chair-stair things.

A ramp on the front porch.

You'd be a lot more independent.

Don't need it; I have you.

Well, I can't always be here.

Got a full-time job, six kids to raise.

Are we talking about the same person?

Scrub harder.

You're scrubbing like a pussy.

Disturbing image.

Morning, Lip.

How's it going, Grams?

You fuck girls with that pecker?

As often as they let me.

Hard to believe he got Karen pregnant with that thing.

It's so small, isn't it?

Don't kiss up to me because you feel

like a worthless piece of shit.

Missed a spot, Frank.

Ass fuck. Jack off.

You guys still not talking?

Dude?! Carl?!

What the fuck?

Holy crap, why have I never done that before?

You have too much time on your hands.

Summer school next year.

How's your head?

Little dizzy. You're fine.

Go have some breakfast.

How much we looking at in the winter-squirrel fund?

Just over nine grand. That's all we made

to get us through the entire winter?

Frank screwed us when he gave Liam away.

And there was that new compressor for the fridge.

And that stuff for Liam's ear infection, mwah!

Everyone needs to get winter jobs.

Debs, get down here.

Breakfast.