Tandem

Dammit, Rivetot, you're a pain! What's wrong?

I didn't want to run it over!

What?

- The dog! - What dog?

A huge red dog. Never saw one like it!

Crossed the road right in front of us...

Thought I'd got him...

You hurt?

So where is this dog? Maybe we could adopt him...

Listen.

I'm not dreaming!

A big dog, bright red,

looked all bloody!

- I dunno. - I'm not nuts!

You must have dozed off a second.

Or maybe you're hallucinating...

Damn! Almost under my wheels!

What was it?

A huge dog with feverish eyes,

glittering...

You too!

It was no dream, Michel!

This area's known for its big red dog that's always

crossing roads to test drivers' reflexes.

Look out!

I'm lost!

Filthy beast must've quit for the day, or gotten scared off.

It's no joke, Michel!

Want to wait for dark, and see if the dog dances in our headlights?

Or do we get going now?

Wait a minute!

You're Michel Mortez! Amazing! Come on, we'll get a snapshot!

Madeleine!

Ready?

Don't move, sir, or you'll blur... OK...

Smile...

Rivetot, give me some light. I can't see a thing.

It's me, dear... Yes, it's me, my love...

Certainly not! Do it if you must!

Rio in April, that's sure.

Wonderful! What luck!

No, if you've got a date, don't change it on my account.

I don't want my call to make you late.

Of course...

What? You want a kiss?

Consider yourself kissed... all over!

All OK?

It's complicated...

Don't complain. She loves you.

So she says.

We reserved: Mortez and Rivetot.

You're the gentlemen from the radio!

Oh, Mr Mortez!

Yes, we're holding 2 rooms for you.

We expected you earlier.

We were held up by a red dog with yellow eyes.

Did it bite you?

It wouldn't have dared!

Don't worry, I'll survive.

You scared me.

Such funny things happen these days.

Have you... a room with twin beds?

Yes, why?

We'll take it.

But you reserved 2 rooms...

Changed our minds. Just one room...

I have both rooms, or more if you like. Things are slow now.

My driver's a diabetic

and needs constant care.

If I'm not with him, he may wake up dead in the morning,

which would tarnish your hotel's reputation.

So we want a room with twin beds.

I had no idea... sorry...

- Shall I take up the bags? - Don't bother, thanks.

Bright idea! I look like an idiot!

No you don't.

Michel, what's wrong?

You alright, can you hear me?

Is Mr Mortez sick?

It's OK, take the bags to the room!

I'm alright.

Up we go!

I'm supposed to be the diabetic, and you pass out!

Straighten up, the owner's here.

You saw nothing, nothing's wrong.

You OK? You'll be OK.

Is the room satisfactory?

It's fine...

Just fine.

Do you serve food?

Can we dine?

The dining room is closed now.

I must insist, my dear. We've had a long, hard drive,

and we'd love to... eat something.

Maybe my husband can heat something up.

We'll shower and be right there.

Like me to serve the dessert?

- We're ready. - It was very good.

Sorry, there's only one piece of pie left.

Pie home-made?

Not exactly, but it's good.

Shall we split it?

Fruit for you, crust for me.

Delphine!

I've a deficit of $800!

- Hear me? - You added wrong.

So now it's my fault!

It's always your fault!

What nerve!

Did you swipe it?

So? It's not your money.

That's true,

but it's my worry.

Did you take it?

Everything OK? Enjoy your dinner?

It was perfect!

If I'd asked, you'd have lent me $800?

Of course not!

You see?

I knew it was you. That's crummy!

I figure I'm $5,500 in the hole!

How do I square it?

Quit moaning. I'll pay it back.

When, may I ask?

Any time you say! Tonight, if you like!

Is the casino open now in your delightful town?

No, it's closed.

Too bad!

$800 more or less, what's it matter?

I'm sick of covering up for you!

You hurt me, Rivetot. So petty!

Petty? You're calling me petty?

Because of your debts we have to stay in... fleabags

and share a room to cut costs!

I've no privacy!

Privacy's wasted on you.

Maybe, but go easy, Michel!

I'm tired, I'm going to bed.

Good night.

After 20 years, you must get fed up with it sometimes.

You joking? Since "Guess What?" began,

I reckon I've asked 94,203 questions

and met 18,603 contestants.

I'm not like a stage actor, always saying the same lines,

with the same cast, every evening.

For me, each day is different...

so as for being fed up... hardly!

Hurry, you'll be late picking contestants.

- I'm being interviewed. - They're waiting!

Go on, Mr Mortez, I'll do OK.

You've only asked me 2 questions.

Never mind. When were you last in our city?

In March 2 years ago.

I'll pick up the article the paper did then.

He's an asshole!

Quit that!

Don't bang on it, nut!

Know what that mike is worth?

Let's rehearse the applause. When I raise my arms, applaud.

When I lower them: silence.

Let's try it. Ready?

You call that applause? Let's hear it 10 times louder!

Ready?

Terrific! You're terrific!

Last spot. You're on in 90 seconds.

Paris sunny?

So-so. And you?

Not great.

Hang on. In 2 months you'll have a studio job.

What?

You didn't know? They're dropping the Mortez show.

Don't kid around...

I'm not. We've known for a week!

Can't be!

Must be a mistake. Did we get a new time slot?

Can you hear me? Check if they've rescheduled us.

Know what's replacing us?

30 seconds more... You're on!

Thanks, Jerry, for that hit tune. Now for our daily date

with Michel Mortez, in Maraise

today to play "Guess What?"

Good people of Maraise, is everything alright?

Today

we are in Maraise, near the county seat of Frignac,

where we'll appear next week.

Well?

Maraise is justly proud of its fine 12th-century castle,

which was heavily damaged by World War ll bombings.

Maraise, a flower-decked, smiling city

famous nationwide for its clothing and household appliances!

Don't ever do that to me again!

Mr Vaillant, you're too young to remember June '44.

How long have you lived in Maraise?

I settled here

6 years ago.

You're a high school science teacher?

Yes indeed,

physics and chemistry.

My subjects aren't popular.

I often envy art teachers.