Clipped

My god, Buzzy.

It's beautiful.

It's perfect.

It sounds weird to say, but I feel truly beautiful.

It's a work of art.

So, do you want a haircut, or no?

I wouldn't touch a thing.

Let's leave it alone.

Thanks, Buzzy.

He paid up front, right?

Oh, my god, so annoying!

Why can't he just give us keys, you know?

What's he think we're gonna do? Steal shampoo and toilet paper?

I might. I probably would.

Hey, did you guys see on Facebook

that Ms. Oberding broke her leg at a "T" stop?

She got her ponytail caught in the sliding door.

Oh, my god, that's awful.

Hey.

Y'all hear what happened to that ponytailed bitch Ms. Oberding?

She broke her leg, Charmaine.

Good.

She also called me "you people" for four years.

It's 9:15.

Why does he make us sit here and wait for him every single day?

Oh, I could answer that.

I took a couple of psychology classes

before I dropped out of college, and our fearless leader, Ben,

is a textbook example of what medical professionals

would classify as a douche.

Oh, come on, now, Buzzy. You just don't know him like I do.

Deep down, Ben's got a heart of gold.

- - Ben: Damn it, Dwayne.

Take your house and relocate in front of the tattoo parlor.

What, don't look at me like that.

You don't have to wash piss off your door handle every day.

He should probably stop pissing on his door handle.

Excuse me.

I thought I was cutting Robin Doyle's hair.

How did Julianne Moore get in my chair?

Oh.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't heard that before.

Here is Rosalee's bill.

Thanks. Mm-hmm.

So, uh, you doing anything interesting this weekend, Joy?

Oh, yeah, my church group's walking for aids.

You want to join us?

Oh, I don't know, Joy.

I mean, I'd walk against aids.

Oh, you're so funny.

I need sponsors, but I'm so bad at asking.

All right, eyes on me, everybody!

When the hand goes up, the mouth goes shut.

Joy's doing a walk-a-thon this weekend.

You're all pitching in to support her.

And hey, it's against aids.

That's nice, Joy. I'm in.

20 bucks a mile.

Thanks, buzz. My goal is 10 miles.

2 bucks a mile it is.

I'll put you down. Yeah.

Everybody in? Doyles?

Everybody. Is that everyone?

No. Who didn't sign up?

Oh, I'll give you a hint.

He's cheap, he's standing over there pretending not to hear me,

he's bigger than a bread box... But not much...

And his name is Ben.

Any guesses?

Do you want to donate to the aids walk-a-thon, Ben?

What's that? Um...

Is aids even still a thing?

Yeah, it is.

Mm, you sure?

Even after Magic Johnson?

All right, I'll think about it.

That is a no.

Ben, you got more money than any of us.

Give some of it away.

All right, pump your brakes there, buzz.

For your information, I am a consistent supporter

of the Lucille Sanchez scholarship fund

of the Chamberlain community college, so you're welcome.

Are you talking about Lucy Sanchez?

Stay out of this, Mo.

You give her money for school?

I thought you just paid her to tickle you.

I said stay out of this, mo.

It's a really gross quality that you're not a giver.

I mean, not to take anything away

from your other gross qualities.

Casual racism.

Giving soy sauce to Asian kids on Halloween.

Blatant racism.

It's okay, Ben. I don't judge you.

Well, thank you, Joy.

But god does. Preach it!

And he's the one in charge of the down button.

Yeah.

Must be nice praying to an elevator operator. All right.

Hello?

So, Danni, what can I put you down for?

Oh. I'll give you 100 bucks.

Really? Wow. Can you afford that?

I just sold my piano. You're kidding.

What about your music?

I'm done with singing.

I don't understand.

Are you pregnant?

No.

Were you pregnant?

No.

Look, I just promised myself

that if I hadn't earned any money singing

by the time I turned 25, I would give it up.

Wait. What? You're not singing anymore?

Nope. Wait, are you pregnant?

She says she's not.

She's really not.

Wait, is that why we haven't seen you around the bar?

You were so good.

Oh, come on. I was just okay.

Anyway, I'm better at this.

This... This is what I should be doing.

I'm really sorry to hear that.

Oh, don't be.

I've made my peace with it. I'm happy.

Wow, most people are sad

when they flush their dreams down the toilet.

Did you flush your baby down the toilet?

Dan, are you ready for this?

All right, I just got called from a scout

from the Chatham A's

who wants me to try out for the summer league team.

I mean, is it getting drafted out of high school

by the Red Sox? No.

But it's something, right?

I mean, it's something to hang my hopes on.

Oh, Aje. Come here.

Sit down. I'm gonna help you with this.

Oh, that's great.

You know, I'm actually pretty nervous about this.

I mean, it's crazy long odds.

So, hit me.

Give up.

Wow, uh, okay. I said, "hit me."

That felt like an actual punch.

Uh, I meant more like say something positive,

you know, like a friend might say.

I am being a friend

and I'm telling you, let it go, all right?

Take all those unrealistic dreams and

Bye-bye.

What is this? What... what are you doing?

You know, you can't say stuff like that to me.

What... What you say to me matters.

Why? Because we slept together in high school?

No. Not because of that.

You don't have to wince when you say it.

I mean not just because of that, you know?

I listen to you.

I mean, because of you,

an entire men's shelter has my old ed Hardy t-shirts.

Yeah. Well, then, listen to me now.

Look, I just went through this with my singing career.

There's a time when you just

have to let all this stuff go and live your life,

and it feels so good.

How can that feel good? I want to dream big.

- Dream small. - I want to dare to be great.

Dare to be just okay.

A.J., we're 25.

If it was gonna happen for us, don't you think it would've already?

No! All right?

I don't know what's the matter with you, but you are wrong.

When you have a dream,

you follow that dream no matter what,

no matter how long it takes.

And you can fool yourself into thinking

that quitting's an option, but it's not.

At least not for me.

I got to go in there and finish up now, so bye-bye.

And you know what?

Baseball players play baseball.

And Danni, singers sing.

Everything else is just marking time.

There is no way this dude's profile picture is real.

Are you on grinder?

Tommy says I'm allowed to swipe as long as I don't touch.

Joy. Who is that guy?

Oh, I don't know, but he sure likes waving.

I don't want to be rude, but my arm's getting really tired.

What exactly is our end game here?

All right.

Ah.

I see you met my cousin Lonnie.

You're related to someone that friendly?

All right, Jesus,

will you stop it with the damn waving already, Lonnie?

You're creeping everyone out. Jesus.