金光御九界之墨世佛劫

Previously on Star Trek: Lower Decks...

Ooh, I got it. One illegal virus,

but someone has to take it to the ship.

But who's small enough to go undetected?

Yeah, and who could survive in space without a ship?

Someone who can travel with the program

safely stored in her hard drive...

Peanut Hamper!

You can load the code into their ship

using your robotic abilities.

Oh, my gosh, Peanut Hamper,

you're gonna save the day!

Eh, I'm gonna pass.

I-I'm sorry. What?

All that stuff sounded way too scary.

What about the needs of the many?

I joined Starfleet to piss off my dad,

not to be a virus bomb.

Peanut Hamper, this is not cool!

We're all going to die!

Peanut Hamper, there are so many lives at stake!

You know what, I'm just going to beam myself

out of this whole sitch.

Sucks to be organic.

Enjoy having all your guts flying out or whatever!

You know what? Peanut Hamper is a stupid name!

Whoa! They wanted me to do that?

- Yeah, uh, no thanks. -

The big guy died!

Wow. Made the right choice, obvi.

Ha! I knew it!

Now they're all going to die.

The Titan?

Now that's a crew that'll respect a robot.

Hey, hey! Over here!

Help!

Help?

Well, someone'll be by to save me soon enough.

Unless they forget to scan for nonorganic life,

but that'll never happen.

: "Be a hero, Peanut Hamper.

The needs of many, Peanut Hamper."

Kill yourself for a bunch of randos

you met three hours ago, Peanut Hamper!

It was my first day.

They expect me to sacrifice myself on day one?

No way! Ugh! I hate Starfleet.

What about the needs of the me?

I'm sorry, Sophia.

You're right. I hate when I get like this, too.

What I wouldn't give for your level head.

What we need to focus on is getting this nacelle working

so we can get the hell out of Junksville.

I scraped up enough dilithium to juice it

to warp factor .02, maybe .03 if we're lucky.

Don't give me that look.

Of course I could send a distress call to Starfleet.

But those bipedal bastards would just lock me up for going AWOL.

They're so uptight about being betrayed.

- - Oh, my God.

Holy shit! I did it! It works!

We make a pretty good team, don't we, Soph?

I hope you know that whatever happens out there,

you've got a friend for life.

- -

Drookmani scavengers!

Sorry, Soph. Only room for one.

Okay, here we go.

I don't know if this thing can even hit warp...

- -

Sophia, no.

Wh-Wha...?

Rettan?

What the... Where the frick am I?

Ah! The spacebox has awoken!

- -

Now, now, no need to pretend.

I know you are awake.

You've been rebuilding your power for days.

Your metal body is fascinating.

Wow, stare much? I don't know you, sir.

You're being very creepy.

I am Kaltorus of Areore.

The moment I witnessed your descent from the heavens,

I knew our ancestors had brought you to my land

for a reason.

Destiny.

Whoa! Hey. Please. Please don't dismantle me.

I'll tell you anything you want to know about Starfleet.

I will give you all their codes. I'll... Ooh.

- Here we go. Yes. - Oh, yeah. Right there.

I will not rest until you are fully restored.

Wait, so I'm not a prisoner?

Okay, sure, just keep doing whatever you were doing

and get to the left side, too.

Mm, yes.

Everyone has been wondering who my secret guest is.

It is time to get them used to a stranger.

- Morning, Skaf. -

Call it android intuition,

but I'm kind of sensing that everyone here hates me.

Fear, not hate.

They've never met a visitor from off-world,

much less one that's made of metal.

Wait, you're not in the Federation?

The what now?

So no ships come here, like, ever?

You are the first visitor in my lifetime.

- Oh, fuck! - I beg of your pardon?

Yeah, it's just something we space folks say

when we're stranded on a backwater planet

with no culture.

Oh, yes. Fuck, indeed.

Oh, wow. A dirty stick.

That's special. Thanks so much.

What, am I supposed to give you candy or something?

- Here. -

- - My God.

It's just a replicator. Relax.

That spacebox is what the ancient ones warned us about.

I say we cut her open and release

- the tiny witch that runs it! -

Peanut Hamper is a living being, and like any other life-form,

she deserves our respect.

Yeah!

Can a machine ever really be alive, Father?

This is my son Rawda.

While you are here, he will show you our ways

- and be your guide. - Father, I...

I am next to be the village leader.

I can't be seen fraternizing with this mechanical creature.

And so you question the judgment of the present village leader?

Of course not, Father.

As your will, it shall be done.

Getting some major village bad boy vibes

from Raw-dog, am I right?

His name is Rawda, and you know nothing of him.

Keep it in your pants, sister.

I'm not trying to steal your bird man.

They just need time. Let us continue.

I want to show off our well.

Wow, a well. Cool.

Personal log.

I'm stranded with a bunch of hillbilly birds

on a planet that's never even been first-contacted.

I could still put out a distress call

if I wanted Starfleet Security to toss me in a penal colony,

which isn't the worst option,

because there's nothing going on here.

Ugh, how can you live in such filth?

Well, good morning to you, too.

Come. We must begin the day's work.

So does, like, every animal

on this planet have wings?

Of course they do.

"Of course they do."

That's not the "yoozh" in this quadrant, FYI.

Not that you'd know anything about anything.

Straw?

You guys haven't even invented tile yet?

This is the way it has always been.

Well, the next time it rains,

it's just gonna collapse like it always has.

Watch where you put those claws.

Sky Snake.

I'm sorry, "Sky Snake"? That's ridiculous.

If everything here flies, then why call it a Sky Snake?

Wouldn't that just be a snake?

Come. More tasks await.

You know, my universal translator

can't make your language smart.

Ha! See? With a little techno-help,

I've got twice as much milk blasted out of this thing.

- - No! Wait! No!

Stop! A little help here?

- Stop! Hey! Ugh! -

- Stop! Stop it! Rawda! Rawda!

Stop it! Aah, aah! Stop!

It's your father.

He was bitten by a Sky Snake.

- Father. -

It is the Great Circle.

He takes my life with his venom, and I, his, with my spear.

Nothing... to be done.

All right, you're being a big baby.

No one has ever survived a Sky Snake attack.

Death will be swift.

- And when... - Boop! Antivenom.

- Ah. -

Father. How did you...

Yeah, yeah, calm down.

It's called science, which you could have

if you didn't put up with straw and parasite water.

Father, how do you feel? - I feel wonderful.

I also administered

a little vitamin pack.

You were low in, well, everything.

I told you she was brought here for a reason.

Ooh, me, me! -