The Adventures of Huck Finn

My name's Huck... Huck Finn, and this story's about me and a slave named Jim.

It's mainly the truth. Oh, sure, there's a few stretchers here and there,

but I never met anybody who didn't lie a little when the situation suited him.

So kick off your shoes, if you're wearin' 'em,

and get ready for a spit-lickin'good time.

Come on, Finn!

Hit me! Come on!

Come on, Finn! Come on!

Come on, Finn! Come on! Let's go!

Hit me! Hit me! Come on!

- Hit me! Afraid of me? - That all you got?

Come on...

Knock him into Tuesday, Huck!

- Ahhh! Ahhh! - Oooh!

Ahhhhhh!

- Go for the glory, Huck! - Yeah, go for the glory!

Personally I can't see no glory in punching an ignorant lard ass.

But... I gots to.

- Pap. - Come on! What're you doin', Huck?

I whooped him! I whooped him good!

- Hey, Louise! Is Jim home? - Hello, Huckleberry.

- Hey. Thanks. - My husband's in the cabin.

Ohhh! I'm startin'to lose the vision. I'm startin'to lose...

It's goin' and it's goin'!

Ahhh, now it's comin' back. It's comin' back now.

- Aaah! - Hey, everybody.

Hey, Sam. Hey, Otis.

Hey, Huck.

- Sorry for bustin' in, Jim. - That's all right.

- But I need some advice on my futures. - What kinda advice you need?

Pap's back.

Are you sure? 'Cause he ain't been seen for more than a year now.

I saw his boot print, the cross made with nails.

To ward off the devil. Yeah, that's your pap, all right.

- I need to know what he's gonna do and how long he's gonna stay. - Now hold on.

I ain't never done this for no white folks before.

I-I-I don't even know if it's gonna work.

Give you some marbles.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try.

Thanks, Jim.

- What in hell's bells is that? - Hair ball... from a ox!

Puked it up just the other day.

- That'll tell me my future? - Shhh!

Spirit lives on the inside of it.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Ya don't say?

No! Not to my good friend Mr. Finn here!

No!

Your old Pap got two spirits hoverin' around him.

A sweet one with wings and a mean one with horns.

Sometime he listen to the good one, and sometime he listen to the bad one.

The good spirit tell 'im to leave you alone,

but the bad one tells him to come and get ya!

Now, the hair ball don't know...

which spirit gonna be the most convincin'.

It says that your future...

is driftin' like...

the river.

When your Pap's around...

he always beatin' on you, ain't he?

Yeah...

when he can catch me.

Well, the hair ball thinks that maybe you ought to skedaddle for a while.

At least until after your Pap goes away again.

Come tomorrow morning, they'll be talkin' about me in the past tense.

Jim was owned by Miss Watson, and about a year ago...

Miss Watson and her sister, the Widow Douglas, took me in.

They wanted to civilize me, which most people thought was a right nice idea.

But seein'as how I'm so ignorant and kinda low-down and ornery...

- Huckleberry! - You come in here!

- it wasn't workin'out real well. - You missed dinner.

- You'll go to bed hungry. - So if ya starve to death by mornin'...

- we'll lay your carcass out for the birds to eat. - Oh, my land!

- What happened to your eye? - How'd ya get that shiner?

I saw a blind man walkin'down the street...

when all of a sudden a gang of thieves jumped out and grabbed him.

Well, I tried to stop 'em, but bein'so little and all,

they just walloped me in the eye and ran off.

That the same gang of thieves who stole your school books last week?

Yep, same gang.

You told us you whopped 'em so bad they was never comin' back!

I-I did. But this time they brung reinforcements.

Hey, where is your fancy school clothes, Huckleberry! What are these rags?

You played hooky, didn't ya?

No, ma'am. I went to school.

And on my way home, I ran into a poor mother with her ten poor children.

Last week that poor mother only had eight children.

- Well, now she's got two more. - Uh-huh.

- Anyways, I gave 'em my fancy clothes to help 'em stay warm. - Hmm!

You sweet child!

I knew we could change him. I just knew it.

- Why, he's downright chivalrous. - Why, he's downright nauseous.

And for being so chivalrous, I'm going to clean you up and dress you up...

and give you something to eat before evening prayers.

Meow!

Meow.

- Shhh! - Come on down, Huck.

Aw, hell.

I should've known better.

I should've finished packing and ran away right then. But no,

I had to go sneak out and play with my friends one last time.

Little did I know... that that one mistake was gonna change my life forever.

- Goin' somewhere? - Maybe I am, and maybe I ain't.

Don't you give me none of your lip!

I don't wanna wake anybody up just yet.

But you move, and I'll wail ya good.

Well, looks like you put on considerable many frills since I've been away.

I hear ya can read and write.

Who told you to meddle in such highfalutin foolishness anyhow?

The widow told me.

- I'll wail you good for meddlin' in something like that!

Pretty soon you'll be taking up religion like your ma did.

Would you leave Ma out of this? She's dead and you better...

Don't you sass me, or you'll be joinin' her!

Well, ain't you the sweet-scented dandy!

With your polished clothes and your nice bed.

I never seen such a son as you!

Well, I'm not gonna stand for it.

Leave me alone! Let me go! - You're comin' with me!

- Let me go! - Oh!

No!

- Let me go! Let me go! - Pap Finn, you devil in disguise!

Outta my way, you old maid! This here is what's mine, and I'm takin' it!

- Put that sweet boy down! Ohh! - Leave them alone! Leave them alone!

Say good-bye, boy, 'cause you ain't never gonna see...

these two old biddies again.

I knew I was in trouble, and it were only gonna get worse...

once Pap started drinkin'.

I was up the river with some acquaintances of mine,

and we were doin'some... jobs, and I got the news.

So when I found out your ma left you $600,

I figured I'd come and get my due.

I mean, don't I deserve it...

after all the trouble and expense I went through to raise you proper?

But no.

judge Thatcher says that money's gotta stay

in the bank 'til you get yourself to legal age!

Legal age. I can't be waitin'that long!

What'd I do with that bottle?

But I'm...

I'm your next of kin.

And you're my little angel.

I-I ain't no angel, Pap. You can ask Miss Watson.

Aaah!

Damn it!

No, Pap! No!

No! No!

No, Pap!

- Yes! - Pap!

What're you doin' with my gun?

Uh... I thought I heard somebody tryin' to break in,

- and I was waitin'for 'em, Pap! - Well, why didn't ya rouse me?

I tried, but I couldn't.

Hey, what're you doin' here anyway?

You brought me here, Pap.

Did I? Why?

- 'Cause you said you missed me so. - Don't you lie to me.

That couldn't be the reason.

Oh, yeah, that money your ma left you. Damned Judge Thatcher!

Have to think of another way. Look at this place.

- What'd you do to my house? - I didn't do anything, Pap.

I'm goin' to town. You clean up around here.

Yes, Pap.

Mmmm. "Yes, Pap."

Little runt.

I knew if I stuck around I'd be dead.

But dead was the only way Pap would ever leave me alone.

Wild boars are mighty good eatin'. And this one were gonna save my life as well.

What the...

Now that I was dead, I could do what I wanted...

and go where I wanted, and neither Pap nor Miss Watson would ever try and follow me.

And right now, I figured I'd go to Jackson's Island.

No one lives there nor hardly visits,

and the fishin's awful good too.

- Aaah! - Aaah!

- Huck? - Hell's bells, Jim! I almost puked up my livers.

- I thought you was dead. - I ain't dead.

But your Pap came into town this mornin'...

screamin' about how some robbers had cut you into a million pieces.

Faked it all, Jim. I'm as alive as you.

- Nope. You ain't dead. - Funny, Jim!

- Your Pap look like he done seen the devil himself. - Scared him, did I?

Scared him? You scared the whole town. They's

out huntin' down your murderer right now.

- That's mighty nice of'em. - The widow wants you to have a proper burial,

so she got all the womenfolk fleecin' the woods lookin' for your carcass.

- Wish 'em luck, Jim. They ain't gonna find my remainders. - No, they're not.

You know, I kinda like bein' dead.

Come on!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Say, Jim! Shouldn't ya be gettin' back before Miss Watson misses ya?

Well, Huck...

You promise not to tell on me if I tell you somethin'?

Damned if I would, Jim.

Honest Injun.

Well, I believe you, so I'm gonna tell you.

This mornin' in all the confusion caused by your murder...

- I ran off! -Jim!

- You promised not to tell! - I know I did! I know.