American Dad!

Great idea coming out to the van

for movie night, babe.

Now I can laugh as loud as I want at "Police Academy 3."

Police? In school?

I mean, what the...

Plus, we get some actual privacy.

Pipe down.

Proctor's about to accidentally enter the Blue Oyster bar.

This is a Channel 3 NewsBlast Ten Million.

Another body has been found

wearing an RB Burger bag over its head,

the seventh victim of the RB Burger Killer.

When will the grossly incompetent Langley PD,

long believed to be the inspiration

for the "Police Academy" movies,

which I'm interrupting now,

bring the RB Burger Killer to justice?

Now back to "Police Academy."

Jeff, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.

Yeah?

I've been working some heavy part-time hours over at Sub Hub,

so I have some money,

and these crazy murders have really got me thinking.

I shouldn't wait to do nice things for the people I love.

Is it happening?

Are you gonna stop talking during "Police Academy"?

You know how we could never afford wedding rings?

Well, I bought you one.

It's imitation Diamondesque,

but the ring part is real metal.

It looks like a princess's hand.

I feel bad, though.

I don't have the money to buy one for you.

Don't worry about that.

I don't expect anything from you in return.

You don't expect anything from me?

I didn't mean it like that.

What a relief!

We at RB Burger are stunned and saddened

by this recent rash of senseless killings.

We wish to offer our thoughts and prayers

to the victims and their families.

Plus, for one week, get a free small fry

with every mouthwatering RB Western Cheeseburger.

Unforgettable smokiness!

Just as those who have been killed will never be forgotten.

Now that Dad is gone, I sing my go-to-school song

I sing my school song every day

I'm out, too. Big day at work.

Got to fluff the shredded lettuce

and run the turkey through the dishwasher.

I've also got a job,

fixing phone lines for Langley Bell.

I'm a pole climber now,

staring down heights and bad weather,

risking my life to keep the lines running.

Another unsung blue-collar hero.

Everyone can feel free to leave without talking, too.

Did I miss Hayley leaving for work?

Well, I scared Stan in his car and made him crash.

Should we all go back to bed?

Oh, my god. That sounds amazing.

Did I miss "The Price Is Right"?

Yeah, there was a weirdly expensive dish soap.

$30.

Even Drew thought it was unfair.

What are you gonna do today, Mrs. S?

I'm not really taking questions today, Jeff.

I wanted to go to Target

to buy the world's shittiest mountain bike,

but our front door feels like it's a million miles away.

Jeff. What is that?

Yeah! It's my new wedding ring.

My old one was nothing.

Hayley got it for me.

That's a metal sound.

What are you gonna get her?

That's the best part.

She said she doesn't expect anything from me.

Free ring, basically.

Jeff, that's kind of a dig.

Kind of a huge dig.

No, no, no, she just means that, like,

I can't do the kind of things that she can do.

That I'm not capable of it.

You know what? That actually really stinks!

It's because she has a job.

Stan's the same way.

He doesn't think I can pay for things

just because I don't have any money.

Same with my Steve.

He doesn't have a job, but he goes to school,

and he just loves to throw that in my face.

Steve's my partner in this situation.

I never realized how badly those three treat us!

I let it slide a lot,

because I'm letting a lot more go these days,

but it really gets me mad when I think about it.

I need a drink.

Do they think we can't get jobs?!

We can get jobs anytime we want!

We could, but I don't want to.

I have a personality type that makes it hard

to work for or with others.

I was tested, came up positive for that personality type.

Me? I can't work in an office.

What if I want to eat ribs at 10:30 a.m.?

Where would I even get them?

It's just not practical for me.

And I can't get a job

because legally I'm supposed to be in Afghanistan.

But what if we started our own business?

We'd be bosses.

Like Boss Baby.

We'd be in charge.

Like Boss Baby!

Are we doing this? Are we starting a business?

One, two... we're gonna say "Boss Baby"... three!

No! The quiet version.

My head is killing me.

I've got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day

You drank a lot yesterday

with Mom and Roger.

What were you doing?

I forget.

But I do remember one thing, babe.

You.

What the hell?

I got a brand-new deluxe tour bus here

for Jeff, Francine, and Roger

Making Their Own Money That'll Show 'Em Incorporated?

You ordered a bus?

Did you...

Did you think you were maybe buying a miniature tour bus?

Nooo?

Then why is there a Hot Wheels track set up in the living room?

And, of course, there's the matter of the bill.

Stupid scooter, stupid grass.

Aye-yi-yi.

Classic drunk idiots. I love it.

These adorable knuckleheads.

It's not funny.

We are starting a business.

Really? What is it?

It's a business...

That's...

Called...

Uhhhhh...

Called the RB Burger Killer...

Tour bus...

We...

Are...

Going to...

To give tours...

- Of... - Pass.

Tours of the RB Burger murders.

Yes! A murder...

Tour...

Business. Volcano factory.

You all worked together to make a pretty good sentence,

but it takes more than that to run a business.

We're doing a business.

We can't do a business.

We have to return this thing.

But that's what they're gonna expect,

another screw-up from the adorable knuckleheads.

I say we actually do the murder tour.

Murder tours are a thing.

Yeah. When I was in L.A. for "Wheel of Fortune" tryouts...

didn't get it, it's totally fixed,

it's all about how well you do...

I did the Charles Manson Murder Tour.

It was darling!

This is our chance to show them.

We'll need money to pay for the bus,

marketing, fuel, sundries.

It's like you already need

to have a successful murder tour

to start a successful murder tour.

This stupid country!

I know where we can get money.

I'll be back for the ring, so don't sell it.

I wouldn't dream of it.

Because I can't dream.

Because I can't sleep.

Until I sell that chalice over there.

Okay. Thank you.

Bye.

We did it, guys! We're business owners.

Hayley will never underestimate me again.

You got that right, buddy.

Also, with the purchase of this VOSS water,

we're officially out of money.

We need each customer to tell 10 people

to come tomorrow, or we're bankrupt.

Wait, what?

VOSS.

Here come our customers now.

Hello. Hi.

- Oh, man, VOSS! - Welcome.