Roboshark

We lost the target.

What do you mean, you lost the target?

Come on, boys. Check your stats.

Which arrays are you looking at?

I think it's in our baffles, sir.

What was that?

Something in the propulsor, sir.

Maneuvering confirms. Something just hit the propulsor.

They can't answer any bells.

Officer of the Deck, sound general quarters. Battle stations.

General quarters! Battle stations, battle stations!

Helmsman, bring the pump jets online.

Aye, aye, pump jets online, Captain.

All right, bring us about. Let's find out what the hell just hit us.

Whatever it is, it isn't friendly. Sonar, let's go active.

Petty Officer Schneider, give me one ping.

One ping, sir.

Officer of the Deck, flood tubes one and two.

Flood tubes one and two.

Aye, flooding tubes one and two.

Sir, we have contact. Sierra One bearing zero-two-zero-zero.

That's it. Officer of the Deck, target Sierra One.

Aye, aye, sir.

What is that? Enemy sub?

It is way too small for that, sir.

-It's coming right at us, sir. -Fire torpedoes.

Sonar, I need targeting.

-Come on, boys. -It's moving too fast.

Take your best guess and fire!

Aye, aye, sir.

We have contact. Starboard side.

Emergency blow! Plane, full up, angle!

Rescue efforts have been coordinated, sir,

but it's not looking good.

The Orca was my first command, Captain.

What's the bearing of the target?

Bearing zero-seven-niner, sir.

Seattle.

Starbucks, Space Needle,

hipsters, Microsoft,

Nirvana.

Sir?

We'll make our stand in Seattle.

Honey, do you want some pancakes? I'm making pancakes.

No, I'm just gonna grab a coffee. The guys are outside already.

They want me to go to a stand-up in Bellevue on the snowstorm.

Like they have never seen snow in Seattle before.

Of course, you don't mind...

That's what I'm talking about, honey.

Snow in Seattle, I mean, that is some serious anchor material.

Right, Melody?

I hope they're thinking that way, but I'm not sure, Rick.

Melody, can you put that down for half a second?

Melody, hello. Hello.

What? Oh, sorry.

Do you want some breakfast?

Yeah. You always overdo the bacon.

I do not.

Twenty minutes, 400 degrees. I make perfect bacon.

Yes, you do make the perfect bacon.

Hello.

Hello. Melody.

Melody, hello.

Sorry. God!

What are you even looking at?

It's so fake.

Why do you waste your time watching this nonsense?

I'm not, Mom.

Alicia just DM'd me 'cause it's right near here.

We'd better look out for a giant airplane-eating shark, huh?

That's not what I said.

Come on, you can't take everything you see on the Internet seriously. You know that.

No, really, Mom?

That's why we have the news, and your mother,

guardian of truth and democracy.

Yeah, right. Covering snow doesn't make me Barbara Walters.

Christiane Amanpour is more my type.

-Good luck, Mom! Go for it! -Thanks.

Give them hell, honey.

-Eat up! We're leaving in five. -Yeah, okay.

How's it going, guys?

Good, good. Louie got breakfast.

Nice!

-My turn tomorrow though, right? -Right.

Trust Trish, the best Channel 55 news anchor we got.

Don't jinx it. Last I checked, we were doing a weather stand-up in Bellevue.

Or we could go rogue, find a cool story and blow Dan away.

-Yeah, remember last time? -Yeah.

We all thought the mayor's brother-in-law was shaking down a strip club.

You thought that.

Yeah, and he wasn't.

Guys, I don't want to get a bad reputation for being trouble.

I just want Dan to feel like I'm reliable and not a loose cannon.

Let's just nail the snow job.

And that's how you get promoted, son. Don't rock the boat.

Or we could go cover the viral video "Shark Eats Plane."

It's amazing.

The shark comes out of the water,

grabs the plane, plunges it down to the depths.

It looks real. The animators did a good job.

Yeah, Melody showed me that this morning.

And that is exactly everything that's wrong with the news today.

It's, like, totally fake and ridiculous.

Maybe debunking it could be a story.

Hey, check that out. What's going on over there?

That's a lot of firepower.

Yeah, maybe they're bringing in the big guns for the snow problems.

I'm sure it's just an exercise.

-You're calling Dan? -Yeah, I am.

Hey, Dan, it's Trish.

Yeah, good. You?

Yeah, good. Listen, I wanna run a story by you.

Five.

No, of course. But I just...

Have you heard of any naval exercises going on in the Sound?

Yes, sir.

You can count on me. Okay, bye.

He's totally into it.

No, he said everyone's talking about the snow,

and we need to get to Bellevue and talk about the snow.

-What did he really say? -Two words, "strip club."

Come on! One time, one time.

Okay, forget what Dan said. What would Melody say?

-Let's do it. -Yeah!

-Hey, Maria. How's it going? -Nice to see you, boss.

-Jack, yo. -Hey, Rick.

Morning, Phil.

Good night, brother.

What's the deal with the outflow breach indicator on S14?

It's now your problem.

-Good luck. -Thanks, Phil.

Dispatch.

Dispatch.

Hello?

Come on, guys. Dispatch.

Okay, let's park this beast right about here,

right across the street from the best coffee in town.

In your humble opinion.

It's in all in the grind, man.

Can we please not have another

what's-the-best-coffee-in-Seattle conversation?

What do you think they're doing?

We should get it. You know, get something on camera.

Yeah, let's do it.

Man, come on!

It's Dan. Is this guy psychic, or what?

It's a company phone. He's probably tracking it.

Seriously?

Yeah, Big Brother, girl.

Hi, Dan.

No, we just saw...

No, wait, listen. I think I could be onto something here.

No, just listen.

Why do you think a whole lot of U.S. Navy have just shown up in Seattle?

Well...

No, there's been no report on it. That's why you haven't heard about it.

Don't you think we should find out?

About the shark.

You know, it could be something to do with the whole mutant shark thing.

Shit!

Mutant shark.

You know, the video, it's gone viral. The "Shark Eats Plane."

Dan?

Dan, hello?

Thanks, guys.

He just hung up on me.

Why did you make me say "mutant shark"?

Yeah, I don't think that's a good word for it.

Yeah, you should've used like "killer shark,"

or "great white," not "mutant."

Yeah, it's starting to sound like one of those Syfy movies.

Anyway, coffee's on me.

Junction T41? What the hell?

-Dispatch, get somebody out to T41. -You got it.

T41?

A complete overhaul of junction T41 last year.

Dispatch. Yeah, it's Rick here.

Get someone over to junction T41 straight away.

Hey. Triple venti half-sweet nonfat caramel macchiato.

Yeah, okay.

Hey. It's my favorite.

-What are you drinking? -A cinnamon latte.

-Nice. -Yeah.

Hey, honey.

Hey, Rick.

I think I just did something really stupid.

They're never gonna give me this anchor spot.

What? What happened?

I just pitched a mutant shark story to Dan.

You know, 'cause of that video Melody was looking at.

Mutant shark?

Honey, wasn't that on Syfy last week?

Yeah, exactly.

-Sorry, Trish. -This is my chance.

It's make or break. It's my story.

You know, I'm 38,

destined to be the weather girl until I'm 40,

when they replace me with some young, hot thing.

Dan doesn't take me seriously, you know. He doesn't even listen to me.

Are you listening?