Royal Pains

Previously on "Royal Pains"...

Hank, I want to apply to medical school.

Us guys can have such fragile egos.

About IVF?

Just one more viable way of making a baby.

Why didn't you say something?

Because you're the one

who's going to have to take all the drugs

and have the procedures.

Your father blames himself

for all of your relationship problems.

- What do you mean? - He's afraid

you've become more like him than he ever wanted you to be,

and he thinks that's why you can't seem to settle down.

No, thank you very much.

Absolutely, yeah.

No, I'll call again next week. Yep. Bye.

Damn it!

- Hello. - Hi.

Thank you for joining me.

Thanks for calling me.

- Shall we? - Yes.

Raj says he's too tired

to go walking with me this morning.

I don't know. I think he's up to something.

Ha ha. What would Raj be up to?

Would you want to spend your morning

with three crying toddlers?

- Uh... - Exactly.

- He's up to something. - Right.

So that phone call... is everything okay?

Not really.

I'm still waitlisted at Johns Hopkins.

You know what?

I just have to accept that I'm going to

need to go to my second choice medical school.

Hey, hey, Stony Brook is nothing to feel down about.

They have a great program.

You know a former teacher of mine, my mentor, in fact?

- He works there now. - You're kidding. Who?

Dr. Joseph Whitcomb.

He's a pioneer in the field of emergency medicine.

The man is brilliant. Inspiring.

Well, I'm intrigued.

Why have you never mentioned him before?

I didn't want to add any pressure to your decision,

but he could definitely dispel some of your doubts.

So if it would be helpful,

I could arrange for you two to meet.

Yeah.

I'd love to meet your mentor.

Done and done.

Hey.

Aw, didn't sleep again?

No, but it worked out.

I spent the night researching everything early Americana

for my meeting with Ms. Jeffries later today.

Oh, is she the, uh, the hoarder?

When clients are as wealthy as Ms. Jeffries,

we call them "collectors."

Sorry.

But yes, she has a lot of things,

and she's finally ready to sell.

And we want her selling with Berger & Lawson.

I just hope I have enough energy to impress.

These ovarian stimulation meds are wreaking serious havoc.

Are you still nauseous?

And tired and bloated.

It's like being pregnant without actually being pregnant.

Well, I know how hard it's been, but, uh...

hey, at least when your follicles hit 16 millimeters...

- 18 millimeters. - Isn't that what I said?

No, you said 16. I need to get to 18.

That's when I can get the trigger shot.

Right. The trigger shot, of course.

How could I have forgotten the trigger shot?

It's all about the trigger shot.

Yeah.

Well, maybe today's the day.

I'll know after the ultrasound.

- We should call it T day. - Hmm.

Just don't tell Thanksgiving.

Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Exactly. Don't, uh...

don't tell Thanks...

Went back down the drain?

Went off to sunny Spain?

What did the spider do? I can't remember.

I believe he crawled up the spout again.

Right.

That's exactly what he did. Okay.

Are you sure this is what Raj wants?

Cut. Yes. Very sure.

Raj said he wanted clips of Divya's friends

entertaining the baby, as they have with Sashi,

because the new baby will be growing up in Baltimore.

Yeah, or Stony Brook.

I just... I hate thinking about her leaving.

I understand, but I'm on a deadline.

Raj wanted this ready for the surprise shower tomorrow.

And why did Raj ask you to do this?

I was president of the audio/visual club

- in high school. - Oh.

- Ready now? - Yes. Absolutely.

Um... sorry about all the interruptions.

Here we go.

Action.

I'm sorry, do you say "action" before I start, or...

Mm-hmm.

In your own time.

- Keller. - I need a place to hide.

Cut. Actually, we're filming a segment here.

That little pissant! Think of how much work

I put in that photo shoot. I was so ready.

Look at me. Don't I look ready?

- You look agitated. - Well, wouldn't you be?

I have no idea what we're talking about.

The shoot, Hank. I'm talking... I'm trying to...

- Deep breaths. - I'm telling you.

I... all right, I got to sit down.

Yeah, please. Have a seat.

Your stress level is concerning me.

I got out of there pretty fast.

I had to pack a bag, right?

I had to make it look believable.

How dare that kid!

Hey, are you having any chest pains?

Yeah. I'm actually feeling a little bit winded.

You're also tachycardic and sweaty.

Hank, we should work him up

for a possible myocardial infarction.

- Mm-hmm. - What the hell is that?

A heart attack.

If that kiss-ass ingrate gave me a heart attack...

You were most likely in supraventricular tachycardia,

but the carotid vagal maneuver

has got you back in normal sinus rhythm.

The EKG might give us a fuller picture of what is wrong.

It's probably just a panic attack.

I'm still not clear on what got you so worked up.

You... you walked out of a photo shoot?

No. Not just any photo shoot.

I was gonna be in "Sports Illustrated."

With other agents?

Not just any agents.

Superstar agents with their superstar athlete clients.

I set the whole thing up. It's called "Naked Ambition."

But it's tasteful naked. It's not porn.

- Oh, okay. - So I get to the shoot,

and I find out I'm standing next to Rick "The Prick" Peterson.

He's this junior agent in the same agency as me.

Turns out he's stolen one of my prospective clients.

Total douche move.

How do you know he stole your client?

Well, it's what I would have done.

It's what I did do.

But the guy was old. He was off his game.

It wasn't like I took down a lion in his prime.

About that...

Looks like your heart isn't quite in its prime.

There are some nonspecific ST-T changes.

Q waves. Left atrial and left ventricular hypertrophy.

Something unnatural

is causing the chambers of your heart to dilate.

I will schedule an echocardiogram.

Good. Thank you.

So I'm the wounded antelope instead of the lion?

No, no, no. No. No.

- That cannot happen. - Listen to me.

- No, that... - Listen to me.

If I'm going to help you, I need to know what's wrong,

and the only way that's going to happen

is if you get a more thorough workup.

I'm supposed to be on my way to Miami

to care for my sick dad.

It's the only way I could put the kibosh on the photo shoot.

Your father died when we were in college.

I know... isn't it great

he can finally do something nice for me?

- Okay. - Look. I can't risk anybody

from my agency finding out that I'm still in the Hamptons,

especially Peterson.

I got to figure out a way to get that Gen Y triathlon butt

kicked off of my photo shoot.

You'll have plenty of time to do that in the cath lab.

Look, I'm sure you're scared.

- I'm not scared. - Okay. Okay.

I'm terrified.

Hey, what...

Did I miss our appointment?

I told you last night

I had to move it because of that appraisal with the hoarder.

I mean "collector."

Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot.

How'd it go?

It's not T day.

My follicles have stalled at 16,

but the doctor said not to worry.

It doesn't mean that they won't grow to 18 by tomorrow, so...

So maybe T day will be soon?