Secret Society

You know what, bitch?

You fucked with the wrong one.

I'm gonna kill you.

in front of your little boyfriend,

and then I'm gonna kill him.

Oh, my God, Celess, this better be important.

Tina, I had that dream again.

I told you to stop falling asleep to The First 48.

Shit, maybe you're right.

I know I'm right.

And besides, death and dreams just means new beginnings.

And speaking of which,

tonight's New Year's Eve party is gonna be so fucking lit,

and it's your birthday, Bitch.

To be honest, I'm not even in the mood.

I really just want to sit on the couch,

and sip champagne with the love of my life, and watch the ball drop.

Okay, for one, you're on the phone with the only motherfucker

that got real love for your ass.

And two, the only couch we're going be on is in VIP.

And three, fairy tale endings don't happen for girls like us, okay?

So I'm gonna need you to get up, go in the closet,

pop the tags on one of them badass dresses, and get snatched, bitch.

It's hunting season.

Ooh, he's cute as fuck.

That number on his chain even cuter.

What you think? Football or basketball?

-Shit, I don't even know. But either one will work. Shoot your shot, sis.

Uh-uh, not with all them thotties in his face.

I'll wait till he go to the bathroom or something.

Can I get you all, anything else?

Actually...

What did you just do, bitch?

Send them a bottle of Ace,

and we'll be the only girls they see for the rest of the night.

-Come again, a bottle of Ace? -Yeah.

Ain't that's a $1000 bottle.

-No, that's $1000 investment that I guarantee we'll see a return on.

It was Tina who put me up on game.

She taught me everything.

From how to scout the players,

to how to score.

-Voila. -Thots, be gone.

-Cheers. -Bitch.

Hi, who we owe for this gift?

Put your money away, don't insult us like that.

Is that right? What's your name?

-Tina. -Tina, I'm Khalil.

This my brother, James.

James Allen.

The pleasure is all mine.

Celess.

It's nice to meet you.

# I'm on my shit Get off my dick

# I'm on my shit

# Get off my dick Trick or treat

# Sweet, sweet A freak in the sheets

# Quit playing with me

# I don't got time for games, no One hunnit degrees

# I turn it up

# I'm too pretty I'm too rich for the banging

# But I do know some real ones

# That'll make you tuck your chain in

# Oh, my God! Thank you, Jesus.

# Whaddup famous You a genius

# I don't sing like Christina,

# but I shake it like Miss Tina

# Call me Turner

# How I turn up Bitch, I'm lit

# Like the furnace

# Why you bitches always worried

# Who I'm fucking What I'm earning

# (fuck you earnin')

# Last time I checked

# I'm worth a millie-o

# It's some pretty little hoes in my peripheral

# Dipping thru my city ho I run my fucking city ho

# Margielas on my tippy toes

# I'm shining diamonds like a Christmas show

# Come from Tiffany and Co

# Ship em to Sydney coast

# Like a deli I got dope

# Got these bitches looking broke

# If it ain't bout no money Shut up hoe

# All the millies Got me feeling stuck up hoe

# They can never treat me Like I'm broke.

# All I know is How to get this dough

# I'm on my shit Get off my dick

# I'm on my shit

# Get off my dick

# Yea yea yea Walk it like I talk it

# Pulling off in that red spyda

# Skeert that's that Peter Parker

For the year to have started off so right,

I should have known shit was bound to go left.

This would be the year that changed my life,

and I don't exactly mean for the better.

Atlanta was one of those cities that people could come to

and completely reinvent themselves.

A society of people with ugly pasts and hopes for prettier futures.

I happen to be a part of that society.

But, we'll get to that later.

The most important thing for me and my girl, Tina, was survival.

 And there was only one way we saw fit to achieve that,

capping up men, very successful men.

O was my hustler from East Atlanta.

He wasn't the settle down type

because he was already married

to the street,

but he spoiled the fuck out of me.

Then there was Tariq.

He was my real estate investor from the Carolinas.

He wasn't anything like O.

He had all the book smarts in the world, but he lacked in street smarts,

so I was able to get into his pockets without him getting into my pants.

Now, James...

James was my baller from Georgia State,

except he didn't have any money, yet.

He was on his way to the NBA draft in a couple of months,

so that was gonna change.

And when that happened,

his brother Khalil was going to take his illegal funds

and turn them into a legitimate business.

So that way, when those basketball checks clear,

we could all be eating in peace.

It was a full time job juggling them all.

Like Tina would say, you don't work, you don't eat.

But he's all wrinkly and going bald.

-Okay? And so is Benjamin Franklin. You got mad love for his ass.

So be nice.

And we worked them all.

-You like? -I'll take all of them.

Thank you.

Damn, you're sexy.

-Excuse me? I'm a huge fan of your fights, champ. Can I get a picture?

All day.

Hey, baby. Handle that.

Let's get it.

Come, let me take it -Okay.

Here, baby. I'll take a better one for you. Let's see.

We were everything to everybody,

showing genuine interest in whatever it was that they did.

See, the key to it was to make everyone feel like

he was the only one.

That *** ain't get drafted to the NBA. That's bullshit.

-Bruce Jenner was drafted to the NBA, bro. I'm trying to tell you.

Look that shit up.

He didn't get drafted to the league,

but he did get drafted to the other team.

Hey, real talk?

I can't stand motherfuckers with all that pretending shit.

Be on the DL. Be straight ***, dressing like bitches.

That shit foul boy.

Yo, check this out. Back in Philly where I'm from,

there was these trannies that used to dress like bitches.

Skirts, dresses, makeup, nice ass, perky ass titties, all that.

And no homo, them bitches was bad as fuck.

But they was messing with straight dudes.

And you tellin' me the *** didn't know they was ***?

Fuck no, them bitches was bad, bro.

Fuck out of here, man.

Yo, listen, shit got crazy one time.

One of these *** found out, they was looking for one of these bitches,

trying to take their head off, trying to kill 'em.

Bitches got scared, they moved to the A.

Yeah?

See a *** like you, easy target.

First round draft pick, millions of dollars.

Man, you're a quick come up, my G.

Wow, that's crazy.

You know their names?

Think one of them bitches name was Tina and...

... Ce-- motherfucking --less.

Say it ain't so, Celess.

A man?

James, that's the most bogus shit I ever heard.

Matter of fact, where's the *** that said this shit,

so I can tell him to keep my name outta his fucking mouth,

because that shit's insane.

I thought the same thing at first.

Like, nah, couldn't be. -You damn right, it can't be.

A man, are you serious, James?

You know I ain't no fucking man. And you know this shit first hand.

Then I started thinking

You don't never want to fuck in the light.

You always make me hit it from the back.

What the fuck am I putting it in, Celess, your ass?

Seriously?

And you ain't never not once asked me to eat your pussy.

My pussy?

If I can remember correctly, it was you who said you don't eat pussy.

I tell every female that. Didn't stop them from askin' me to make an exception.

I'm not every female.

Are you even a fucking female?

Come here.

What do you have to hide? If you're not a man, prove it.

It's that fucking simple.

James, you know me.

Miss me with that, James, you know me, crap.

Open this motherfucking door.