Young Sheldon

Previously on Young Sheldon...

You must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife.

Yeah. Why?

I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.

I knew who you were the whole time.

That's why I came over here.

Nicely played.

We ought to go out for drinks one night.

Hell yeah!

Yee-haw!

College is a time for new experiences,

being exposed to exciting ways of thinking,

meeting people from different backgrounds,

and the unexpected visit from your dad in gym shorts.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I got a phone call.

Apparently, the head of the college wants to talk to us.

Good. You sure it's good?

Well, it's better than what I thought when I saw you,

which was, "-Meemaw died." Come on.

I was hoping in college you wouldn't

get called to the principal's office anymore.

She's not the principal. She's the president.

So if you're in trouble, you're in big trouble.

That's a fun way to look at it.

Gentlemen, please have a seat.

GEORGE SR. Sheldon's only been here a few weeks.

I hope he's not in trouble already.

What kind of trouble? Did something happen?

Ooh, maybe it's from when I decided...

All good.

You keep talking.

Well, I'll just get right to the point.

I would like you and your son

to meet with a very important benefactor of the college.

Why us?

Well, I mean, Sheldon is

is an impressive addition

to the physics program,

and-and we like our donors to feel really good

about where their money's going.

I get it. You want the star quarterback

to shake some hands with the boosters.

Exactly. I'm not doing that.

I didn't shake her hand, and she's the president.

No, you don't have to shake anybody's hand.

Then why did you say it?

I didn't say it. He said it.

But you agreed with it.

All I'm asking you to do is to go to dinner,

talk about science with a very nice and, more importantly,

a very rich person.

Understood.

No, thank you.Buddy...

All right, Sheldon, I was brought to this school

to help raise its profile, and one of the ways to do that

is through grants and donations.

You-you can understand that, right?

I understand that you would like to put the novelty of my age

and advanced intellect on display to raise some cash.

No. Sort of.

Can I speak to you alone? Will you give us a minute?

Very well. But if you're looking to see

if my father will be a potential donor,

you are barking up the wrong tree.

So.

How do we get your son to cooperate?

I've been asking myself that since day one.

Look, I don't mean to put pressure on you,

but there's a lot of pressure on me,

so I'm going to put it on you.

Look, I'm sorry, isn't there anyone else

who can go to dinner with this guy?

So I have a unicorn in my zoo,

but I should trot out a goat, is that what you're saying?

Would you donate a new library

to have dinner with a goat?

What restaurant?

Mr. Cooper, I need you to understand something.

This university relies on donations for everything.

For upkeep, for salaries,

for scholarships, like the one your son is currently on.

I'll talk to him.

Thank you.

And when you go to dinner, wear real pants.

So, there's this thing

at school I really want to go to,

and before you say no, I just want you to think about it.

What is it? Like a school function.

Why would I say no to a school function?

So I can go? You're the best.

Hold on.

What kind of function are we talking about?

You know, just the normal kind.

With some kids.

And some music.

You know you can't go to a dance.

Why not?

You know that, too.

Because we're Baptist.

But all my friends are going.

That doesn't change anything.

What if I promise not to dance?

So you expect me to believe

that you are going to go to a dance with your friends,

they'll all be dancing while you just stand there?

I go to church and don't pray.

How is this any different?

Where we eating tonight?

Well, that depends.

Why don't you look in the glove box

and check on the Tums situation.

There's five.

My, this is tricky.

Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.

We might get by with two each if it's Italian.

You get red wine and then tomato sauce.

Hey, if they put lemon in the water, we're dead.

That leaves barbecue.Sold.

Who gets Tum number three?

Me. They're my Tums.

Now, what do you think young people

talk about on their dates?

I don't know.

But my knee's telling me it's gonna rain this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, hey, my son needs a final head count.

It's a small wedding.

It'll be weird if I'm there.

Aw, come on, I'm gonna be wearing a suit.

I'm very sexy in a suit.

Come on, Sheldon,

think of it as a free dinner.

I'm a kid. All my dinners are free.

Is what they're asking really that bad?

Yes. I go to this university to study science,

not to help collect money like an organ grinder's monkey.

You see me go to the rallies and fundraisers at the high school.

I don't love it, but I do it.

And I hope they give you all the bananas you can eat.

Sheldon, donors like this are very helpful for the university.

They pay for all the science equipment and your scholarship.

I hadn't thought of it that way.

So I'll tell 'em we're on for Saturday?

I'll think about it.

What's to think about?

It's a night of you showing off how smart you are.

People do like that.

All right, I'm in.

Can I put on the game?

I don't care.

Sweet!

What's your problem?

Did you ever go to a school dance?

One or two.

How'd you get Mom to let you?

Easy. Didn't ask her.

By the way, that works for all kinds of stuff.

Well, it's too late. I already asked.

Rookie mistake.

Why can't we have a fun religion?

I don't think there is one.

Come with me.

Here.

What is it?

The answer to your problems.

Cool. What other tapes you got?

Nature films. Don't worry about it.

Hey. I just got off the phone with President Hagemeyer.

This guy we're gonna have dinner with sounds pretty interesting.

He made all of his money selling antistatic furniture

for laboratories.

He's not even a scientist?

He's just a furniture salesman?

Yeah.

What am I supposed to talk about?

Talk about whatever you want.

Just... don't be insulting.

What if he says something I think is ridiculous?

Keep it to yourself.

What if you just said something

I think is ridiculous? Because...

Okay, maybe we need to work a little

on your conversation skills,

like not calling people out for saying stupid things.

How am I supposed to practice that?

What's up?

Hello. Hey, June.

It's Connie Tucker.

Hey, Connie. How are you?

I'm good.

Am I seeing you Saturday night?

Well, that's what I've called about.

Are you sure you want me there?

I mean, it is your son's wedding.

It's his second wedding. Those barely count.

Besides, I'm bringing a date, too.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Okay. I'm in.

Fantastic!