Detectorists

Enjoy!

.. solar panels that we pop over the farm, switch on...

Figures for next year's forecast, sir.

You did not bring biscuits.

There weren't any, sir.

.. acquire up to 600 acres across East Anglia...

No biscuits?

.. starting with a site in north Essex,

which we received planning permission for on the 4th of May.

51-acre site, 30 megawatts of power per annum and a saving

of 180,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide over the course of a 30-year lease.

For centuries, man has looked for the earth's bounty

below the ground, but now we are on the brink of a new age of clean,

carbon neutral energy production from the sun -- and the treasure,

ladies and gentlemen, is very much above our heads.

Now, Church Farm, once these solar panels

start being erected in six weeks' time,

will be the third-largest solar farm in England

and will supply low-cost electricity

to the local town of Danebury.

Look at that. Not a cloud in the sky.

Shall we?

Let's.

What do you think that is?

Oh, yeah.

That's a retaining plate

from the back of a mid-20th century socket mount.

Would have had a rod coming off here,

with a loop to attach it to the spring housing.

Brilliant. I can cross that off my wish list.

Don't knock it, mate. That's a piece of history right there.

Small scrap of a life long forgotten.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say,

you've got a piece in the British Museum.

Have I told you about that?

Where do you go from there? What do you aspire to?

Is there a Nobel prize for metal detecting?

There should be.

We're so lucky to have been here.

When you think about how small this island is.

We're walking on archaeology.

There's nowhere we could tread that hasn't been trodden on

a thousand times before by Celts,

the Druids, the Romans...

What have you got?

Scaffold clamp.

.. Saxons, the Vikings.

You know, when I look at this landscape, I can read it.

That's the likely site of a settlement.

That's where the workers gathered for their lunch.

That's where someone left some scaffolding.

If you could invite any six people to a dinner party, who would it be?

Anyone from history. Alive or dead.

- Alive, probably. - You know what I mean.

- I know who I wouldn't invite. - Who?

Stephen Fry or Jesus.

- Yeah? - Yeah. They get invited to these

imaginary dinner parties all the time.

Doubt they'd be very good company.

Probably a bit bored and bolshy.

And the Dalai Lama. Bit moody.

I don't know, maybe Kurt Cobain?

Oh, yeah, he'd be a good laugh.

He was known for his sparkling dinner party conversation.

Will there be heroin at this dinner party?

Oh, speaking of which,

I reckon one of Kate's friends is smoking in my flat.

You know, bit of the old, uh...

Go on, say it.

- What? - Wacky baccy.

I wasn't going to say "wacky baccy".

What were you gonna say?

Spliff.

Cool.

Is Kate still in the spare room?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't mind?

No, no. it's great, you know.

Brings a bit of life to the place.

It's no longer Lance's sad bachelor pad.

All spick and span and tidy.

Now there's people about.

Young people.

Stuff all over the floor.

No, it's great.

I don't even mind the, uh...

- Wacky baccy. - .. spliff.

Oh, that's good, that's great.

You ever stay at Toni's?

No, I can't, I get seasick.

Mate, she lives on a barge, a narrow boat.

It's not being tossed upon the open seas.

Well, it makes no difference.

I can feel movement, even when it's imperceptible to others.

I last about ten minutes,

then I start to sweat and heave.

Oh, that's not a good look.

How's it going at the mother-in-law's?

Ah, it's great, it's great.

It's all good.

She's a bit, sometimes,

but she likes me better now that I've got a job.

She adores Stanley, babysits, so, no, it's all good.

You don't miss not having your own space?

I've, uh, I've taking up vaping of an evening.

Just so that I can go stand alone in the garden for ten minutes.

Oh, well, there you go. Ideal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hello.

In here.

Make sure you put your things back in the cupboard,

so I don't fall over them again.

Yeah. Doing that now.

Put your boots on the paper.

I just done it, just now.

Don't get snippy with me, I heard that.

I hate being told to do stuff that I've already done,

or I'm actually in the process of doing.

I bet you don't speak to Rebecca like that.

I wouldn't dare.

- Is she here? - Giving Stanley a bath.

Don't go in the lounge, it's all set up for my ladies.

OK.

Where have you been today?

- Metal detecting? - Yep.

Find anything?

Nah.

Look who's clean and ready for bed.

Hello, sunshine. Who's reading you a story?

- You. - Yeah?

Oh, before you put Stanley to bed,

can you check on that bathroom mirror?

It's loose, I'm afraid it's going to fall off the wall.

OK. Better go and find my drill.

I might be some time.

- Do you want a glass of wine? - Oh, yes, please.

I'll bring one out.

What story shall we read? Hm?

Are you missing your shed?

Who was it who said any man who, past the age of 30, finds himself

without a shed can consider himself a failure?

Titchmarsh?

Might have been Titchmarsh, yeah.

We're not gonna be here forever.

Just until we get a deposit together and now that you're working,

that's gonna happen all the sooner.

Hey, don't you start a new dig at work tomorrow?

Yeah. New site near Colchester.

They're putting up an office block and we've got to go

and check out what could be some roman walls.

- That could be exciting. - Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah.

- Yeah? - Oh, absolutely.

A lot of archaeologists think there's a lost Roman settlement

outside Colchester.

There you go, then. Here's to you finding the Essex Herculaneum.

Terry's got two sheds.

You can have one shed.

Morning.

Well, almost.

- What time is it? - 12:45.

Oh, shit.

You have a good night?

Yeah, it was all right.

Where'd you go?

Oh, we had a lock-in, just stayed in the bar once they'd closed up.

You working tonight?

Oh, I've got the night off.

I've invited people round here, actually.

- That's all right, isn't it? - Yep.

- You want some cheese on toast? - Oh, yes, please.

Actually, uh, love, um...

.. Mrs Morris was asking whether you could keep the noise down

when you ask friends back here late at night, cos, uh...

Honestly, Dad, I couldn't make any less noise if I tried.

This place is so deathly quiet at night, the tiniest noise,

like, echoes around the town.

- I know, but she's old. - I dropped my keys.

That's what it was, I dropped my keys and I swear to God,

I saw five lights come on up up the road.

People coming to their windows.

Well, that...

That's Danebury for you.

Oh, and, um, Kate,

you-you know the cheese?

- The what? - You know the cheese,

if you cut a corner off it, it makes it harder to sli...

It doesn't matter.

- Sorry, what? - Doesn't matter, it's just... the cheese.

Stick your hat on, mate, you'll get me fined.

No, I know. But rules are rules.

You find anything, no?

I don't know, mate, this is promising stuff.

I mean, this definitely looks like a Roman building,

there's bits of of this around.

This is obviously the exterior of the wall,

so the rest of the building would have been in this area.

I was going to suggest a trench parallel with the wall

and then maybe one in this direction.