Beelzebub

Once upon a time, in a land far far away...

Or rather, in a place called "Ishiyama High School,"

there was a barbaric, ruthless, and defiant bastard who thought nothing of his fellow man.

So you're the first year, Oga?

I'm Abe, a second year!

Fight me!

Second year Abe and the first year punk Oga are gonna fight!

Shut up. You're gonna wake the baby, baldy.

Now he's said it!

Damn, does he know what this guy is called?

He's Abe the killing machine!

Killer?! Scary!

But Oga is the legendary Rampaging Demon Ogre of Kata Jr. High!

Demon? That's one seriously bad dude.

This guy rains blood!

Hey, look at Oga!

Oga's turning chicken?

He's on top... It's coming out... He's on top and lettin' it go...

Damn that's a lot of sweat.

I guess Oga isn't a match for Abe the killing machine.

Wait, that's not sweat!

On his head!

There's a baby pissing on his head!

Whatever!

Fight me!

Does my head look like a urinal to you, you brat?

This is a story of a high school juvenile delinquent who,

through some strange circumstances, is raising a baby.

But this baby is no ordinary baby.

What the hell is that look for?

Who's the damn kid?

I Picked up the Demon Lord

Once upon a time, in a land far away,

there was a handsome, cool, and popular young man whom everyone looked up to.

Screw you, Oga!

Die!

The kind hearted young man said this:

Everyone grovel before me!

Hold it, hold it...

Hmm?

Don't "hmm" me!

Who's kind hearted and popular again?

And what the hell is with the baby, huh?

Silly little Furuichi, that's what I was getting around to telling you.

Break my train of thought, and I break your back!

Now listen up!

We apologize for rising above our station just now.

You were just sleeping there so helplessly, Oga-kun, that we thought it was our chance...

It wasn't a chance.

You know, if I were anybody but me, I'd be dead.

Yeah, for real...

Sure wish you were dead...

The kind hearted young man...

...went to do some washing up in the river.

He's a demon!

Dang...

And then...

Floating, floating...

Floating, floating...

From upstream, a big guy came floating, floating down the river...

Okay, stop!

Where are you going with this story, and what the hell do you mean, a "big guy?"

He floated down the river! What can I say?

"Big guys" don't float down rivers, damn it!

Well, it was definitely quite shocking.

Actually, all the other dudes turned and ran the second they saw him.

Well, duh!

But the kind hearted young man was not taken aback in fear,

and all by himself, lifted the big guy out of the river!

Oh!

And then split him in half.

From inside, a spirited baby boy...

You split him?!

You split him?!

The young man said,

"Oh, what a cute baby!"

But, what the hell?

Crap, what am I supposed to do?

Precious...

Farewell!

Transfer!

The kind hearted young man stayed calm and responded to the situation like an adult.

So kid...

Are you lost?

Wait, I'm doing it wrong...

Maybe, more light hearted?

There-there-there-there!

No, that's not...

Hey brat! I'll steal your very soul!

After that, the baby...

...got totally attached to me.

Or so it seems.

Enough already! Who the hell would believe that story?

Take him back to wherever you got him from already!

You idiot!

Wait, kid!

Look at this!

See? It's a camel cricket!

What the hell are you doing?

This totally worked before, idiot!

Crap, he's bored with it.

I guess you rank lower than a camel cricket, Furuichi.

This is what happens when he cries.

That's why you can't just pull him away like that.

Yeah, don't you think there's something wrong with that?

Furuichi, you idiot!

Keep your voice down!

Let's take this out back, asshole!

Say what?

You're going to make him cry again!

Anyway, all we can do for now is keep him distracted.

"We" my ass!

Don't go mixing me up in this!

Whatever, just hurry up and search!

Find something that can grab this brat's heart!

As if!

This is Ishiyama High, the worst school in the entire country! We're 120% Grade A delinquents!

Ishiyama High! 120% JDs, the worst in the country!

What's wrong?

Oga brought a baby with 'im!

A baby?!

Idiot! Do something, Furuichi!

Think, me! Think!

Bingo!

It's Count Poo, who appears in the anime "Gohan-kun!"

Take a look!

Furuichi!

Then I've got no choice!

Nice, Furuichi!

And why do you have that with you?

I was thinking of giving it to the girl who works at the convenience store as a present.

Furuichi, you sicken me.

Screw you!

What the hell is that kid?

Oga's kid?

Wait, that's no human.

What the hell are you lookin' at?

My body can't take much more of this.

There's only one thing left to do.

Put him to sleep and stick him back inside the big guy before he wakes up!

The big guy's still split open?

I mean, I don't think we can just ditch 'im.

Furuichi, you idiot!

Do I look like such a cruel person?

School Store

All sold out!

Then an anpan?

Sold out!

Fruit milk?

Sold out.

Curry rice?

Yup, sold out.

Then whaddya got left, damn it?

Pardon me.

What are you planning on doing?

Furuichi, you're such an idiot.

It's only natural to get sleepy after you fill up your belly!

Just watch me! I'm gonna feed him plenty!

He's gone!

Over there!

The yakisoba bread is mine!

That bread is mine! I'll stake my life on it!

Yakisoba bread!

It's mine!

Wait for me!

Yakisoba bread, wait!

Hey, Oga...

Do you think the baby is... happy?

What the hell is this baby?

It is time.

He is near.

Leave no stone unturned.

Listen up, Furuichi...

This might be to our benefit.

Wait, why are we at my house?

Once upon a time, there was a fine young lumberjack.

Hold it!

That joke is old now!

The young man threw his ax into lake, and the spirit of the lake appeared and said,

"Was it this old ax you threw in the lake?

Or was it this golden baby?"

Yeah, I saw that one a mile away.

Here! Have a golden baby!

I ain't taking that thing!

Not some freaky baby!