Mistresses

You've been through a lot, Joss.

Have you considered talking to someone professionally?

- Previously, on "Mistresses"... - I'm not really looking for a partner.

Just imagine... You can do anything you want.

That's what I'm offering you.

I called off the wedding.

The good news is I'm going to stay here

and find the true love of my life.

Your work just isn't at the level required

to get into this program.

I was an artist once.

Just not who I am anymore.

- That's my nanny. - Nanny? Really?

Okay, Vivian is down.

- We have nothing to worry about. - You're such a good nanny.

We... we have to be really quiet.

Should we go in the bedroom?

No. Out here. Here is fine.

- I think this is great. - Okay.

Wait! Hold on!

Are we really gonna do this

and change our professional relationship?

I vote yes... um, unless you vote no.

But... but, uh... you vote yes, right?

Yes? Yes? Yes?

- Okay. - Mm. Okay.

That's a yes.

Well, we were never really all that professional, anyway.

So, look, I know you've been thinking about the whole

"What else could I maybe be doing with my life" thing.

I might have a solution.

What kind of solution?

Here.

"Soft Hat, Hard Hat: What's My Next Career"?

Yeah, I was talking to Jonah, and he said that he went

through the same thing once, and that this really helped.

Jonah, the used-car salesman who now plays bass in the band?

That's who I'm getting advice from?

Hey. I flipped through it, April.

It's actually really cool.

It helps people who are burnt out rethink their goals

and find their true mission in life.

There's something called the "Top Hat" exercise in here

where you draw a hat that looks like the career you want...

or careers.

You get it... wearing different hats?

That makes no sense whatsoever.

And I already know what I want and who I am.

I'm a mother, I own a store, and I'm not looking for a job.

Ah, that's... that's not what I...

The art thing didn't exactly pan out,

but I don't need to draw or wear any hats.

If you want to draw hats, go right ahead.

Just a suggestion.

And sweet of you, okay? But I really don't need it.

Well, I'll leave the book here just in case.

I got to go... Off to find a date.

- Pass. - No, no.

Kate, honey, stop being so picky.

We're just looking for some dates, not a man to spend the rest of you life with.

"I've kissed a lot of frogs," isn't that the expression?

Wait, am I seriously doing this?

I was engaged to Brian two weeks ago,

and now I've decided to move to Los Angles and start speed dating?

Is this such a good idea?

Yes, yes! It's a great idea.

Come on, no more moping around.

- You need dates. - What's with this guy's hair?

I kind of like his hair.

Swipe.

Oh, guys, thanks so much for coming over

and helping me with all this nonsense.

Are you kidding? Who doesn't love a good Saturday morning man-hunt?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay, so we've got, uh,

dates booked at 5:00 and 7:00. Do you want to pack in one more?

Is three too many?

What if I really like the first one?

Simple... you just blow the other ones off.

Here.

Oh, my God. That's my manny.

- What? - No.

Is that a problem? He's available, right?

Well, I don't know how available he is anymore.

We had sex last night.

- And this morning, too. - Okay.

I'm officially not giving you advice ever again.

You sleeping with your manny?

Is that such a good idea?

Yeah, what's the plan there, Karen?

Robert is amazing, but let's be realistic.

You know, it's not gonna go anywhere.

But for now, I guess I can have my manny,

and sleep with him, too.

- Ooh. Ooh. - Yeah, how was the sex?

No one warned me how uncomfortable

sex would be post-baby.

I'm gonna pretend I didn't' hear that last part.

- Hi. - Mm!

- What's the big occasion, ladies? - Oh, nothing.

I just wanted the girls to get to know

your sister a little better.

They come over to help me find dates.

- On Shaggr? - Harry, relax.

Everybody's doing it, okay?

It's like, you know, going to a bar without leaving your house.

She just... hey, you just broke up with Brian.

Yes, and if she's moving here she has to meet

some new people, make some friends.

It's better than her sitting in her room crying all day, okay?

- She's having fun. - Fine. I'm staying out of it.

- Hmm. - I'm out of here...

way too much estrogen for one man.

Oh, Joss, come see this one!

Is that an ascot he's wearing there?

- Mm-hmm! - Hmm.

Who the hell organized this place?

I can't find a damn thing on my list.

It was all available online.

Sir, we are very organized.

If you would just let me see the...

Why, so you can tell me that it's only available online?

Sir, is there a problem?

Yes, there's a problem.

Nothing on the website is in the store.

Well, some items, like the throw pillows,

are online exclusives from our warehouse,

meaning if you want them you can purchase them online.

I need everything at my house by tomorrow.

I can't move forward with the designer

with only half the list, and I have a big list.

Fine. Let me have it, and I'll get everything you need.

And deliver it to Malibu?

Normally we don't deliver, but since this is a large order

I'll make an exception and deliver it myself.

You'd do that?

I'd be delighted to drive all the way to Malibu.

After all, this is my store.

Great.

Now, please, get out of my store.

Okay.

I can be cranky. I'm the boss.

Yeah, it's weird, you know, 'cause it didn't really hurt

when it happened, but then the next day,

I had this... this gnarly bruise.

It was worse than usual. The pain was deeper.

Or I can't really explain it. It's just...

You have a stress fracture, which typically occurs

from abnormal force on a normal bone.

Oh, okay. Um, well, that makes sense.

You take another hit to this rib,

and you'll have a clean break.

Ooh. That does not sound good.

It's unbelievably painful, actually.

Okay.

Well, I was just, you know...

pain doesn't really scare me all that much, so...

It should. Pain is generally a deterrent for people.

Look... feeling strong is very important...

not only for your body, but for your mind.

Exactly, and it's not like this is some dumb exercise class.

I didn't say it was, but there is a fine line

between self-empowerment and self-destruction.

And based on what I'm seeing here,

I'd have to say that you're at a tipping point.

You need to take a break, Joss.

And what if I don't?

Well, then you'll find out the hard way.

Good luck.

Let me get that. You are so cute.

Suzie always gets foam on her mouth when she eats, too.

- Suzie? - My cat.

Well, one of my cats.

I have five.

You remind me of Sadie, too.

I thought you said you were an animal lover.

Wow, that's cool.

So, what do you model?

Well, mostly very tasteful, erotic graphic novels.

Mostly?

Till I found that the real money is in illustrated sex manuals.

I just got to say... I love your accent.

- You don't have to say that. - Oh, no, it's the truth.

You know, the best trip I ever took was to Australia.

I've been dying to go back.

And your accent is crazy cute.

Should we get some food?

Yes.

Hey, just so you know,

I am taking down my Shaggr profile,

so you don't have to worry about that.

I'm not worried.

A guy's got to do what a guy's got to do.

As does a woman.

Oh, man, Vivian was so adorable today when you were at work.

We had the most epic tummy time.

- Oh, did you now? - Oh, yeah.

She was giggling at my little jokes and all my little dances.

Your jokes?

Yeah, she, uh... she loves this... this little dance I do.

It's my... it's my Happy Meal commercial booty dance.