Futurama

.:: 604 ::. Proposition Infinity

=:= Bite My Shiny Metal Ass Team =:=

We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter

on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash.

The news is not good.

I've just learned that my final words were "Back to you, Linda".

One for the blooper reel.

The news is so violent.

Let's watch Rachael Ray instead.

No, wait, there might be chopping.

God, what a wuss.

Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.

You know full well I am more related to the sea cucumber.

Not where it counts.

I hated Jim!

In other news,

our city's filthy, urine-soaked walls have been desecrated

by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.

Police have no leads

as to who's behind this innovative scourge of public art.

That is one sexy bridge abutment.

Free corn?

Well, that'll suit me just fine.

The key is knowing precisely where to strike.

Time to beat him his rights.

You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.

It does sort of class up the place.

The time is 4:00 a.m.!

We've been arguing all night, Kif.

Can't we go to bed?

Is that all you ever think about?

I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy.

I need to know where we stand in our relationship.

We're just going through a rough patch.

It is not a patch. It's been ages,

according to your wildly inappropriate hunk-of-the-month calendar.

Leave Todd out of this.

Thanks, babe.

Also, today is Canadian Independence Day.

That's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell.

Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.

That's enough lip out of you, moneybags.

Just get five grand and bail me out.

I don't have that kind of money.

Yeah, you do.

You know that floor safe where you keep ten grand?

There's five grand in there.

Don't make me wait.

You ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard.

I'd better carve a shiv for protection.

Rodriguez.

These two brothers bailed your ass out.

Oh, thank God.

Tell me, have things changed on the outside?

Is food finally in pill form?

What about pills? Are they in food form?

Hot stuff, I'm Larry, the murder burglar.

Hi, Larry, I like your tattoos.

Amy, that man is a criminal.

I'm just checking out his tats.

Sneato.

I have one of my mom.

- Want to see? - Sure.

I just don't get why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.

Quit exaggerating.

Nobody move or sweet cheeks here gets it.

You're bad.

Mama said Spock you out.

That's it, Amy.

Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats.

You and I are through.

Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up.

It's called "Let's Go Already."

Here's to Amy,

single, lonely, and fabulous.

Thanks, everybody.

Looks like I'm back in the game.

Yeah, the game of old maid.

- Excuse me, sir, are those yours? - You're damn right,

and before you ask, this is mine, too.

Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?

No, technically we were Fon-Fon-Rus, so we weren't really married.

The interesting thing about that is...

So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately?

Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?

He says I have a thing for bad boys.

It's so stupid.

The truth is often stupid.

Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?

Shut up, baby, you love it.

Don't tell me to shut up.

You know what happened to the last guy who told me to shut up?

What?

That was great.

Shut up.

Yeah, come over here.

Remember, love between a human and a robot is taboo.

We can't tell anyone, not even our coworkers.

Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion

as we get nasty in this glass tube.

I think I'm coming down with circus-itis.

I thought circus-itis only affected children.

Children of all ages.

Bender, old friend, what's on your face?

Blood.

You know... shaving of the face beard.

Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?

Maybe. So what?

I only brought it up 'cause Bender's wearing them.

I stole 'em from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.

My swollen feet.

I'd better take my pills.

Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me,

but of everyone I've ever dated,

you are probably in the top ten.

You always say just the wrong thing in just the right way.

Sinners!

Robosexuality is an abomination!

- This guy. - The good book say

a robot shall not lie down with a human,

nor do it standing up,

nor at any angle in between.

Look, a single mother! Let's get her!

Quickly, into the ship's basement!

Now then, as you all know,

the county fair is approaching once again,

so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers.

I've got sunny, snow flurries,

hail with onions,

even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon,

but no tornado.

I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again.

That's why I need you

to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one.

This cattle prod should help.

- How will that...? - Get out there!

Is everybody in position?!

What?!

Is someone talking?!

Okay, good! On three!

One!

What did she say?!

- Two! - Wait, I'm not in position!

- Three! - I'm ready for the countdown!

I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!

She said go!

Good work, everyone.

Honestly, that went better than I expected.

I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar,

toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges...

Where's Amy and Bender?

They're missing out on some hot pickle action.

Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.

That's Amy's sweatshirt.

And that's Bender's hat from the Playah's Ball!

Sweet tornado of Barbado.

Amy and Bender have been torn to shreds.

The humanity.

Also Bender.

What's going on here?!

Nothing.

A pair of deviant robosexuals?!

Not under my roof.

What about on the roof?

- Get your mind out of the gutter. - What about in the gutter?

Professor, there's nothing wrong with robosexuality.

Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business

what goes on between two consenting adults.

Or one.

Thanks, guys.

Everything will be okay as long as my parents don't find out.

Zai jian.

Mom? Dad?

Come home, Amy. It your decision.

We can't make you.

Attagirl.

Not the innocent whistling.

Repent!

Oh, this guy.

Look, we're your family,

and if you can't talk about your problem with us, that would be great.