Life After Life

Do you think you have been here before?

From a scientific point of view, perhaps the part of your brain

responsible for memory has a little flaw.

A neurological problem that leads you to think

you are repeating experiences.

Perhaps you HAVE been here before

and your dreams are memories and premonitions.

We may never know.

Most ancient religions adhered to an idea of circularity.

The snake with its tail in its mouth, and so on.

# MUSIC: Black Bottom Stomp by Jelly Roll Morton

Things had been going fairly disastrously for Ursula

until she met her knight in shining armour - Derek.

If the bride's parents could swap places.

Why is this wedding so small?

We wanted to do it right away.

And Derek didn't want any fuss.

Ursula didn't care about weddings.

She wanted to be married.

She wanted a partner with whom she could navigate life's obstacles.

Cheerio.

Honeymooners? Yes.

It's going to rain all week.

Doesn't matter. We'll stay in.

You can't stay in. You've paid for half board.

You've got to be outside between the hours of ten and four.

Doesn't matter. There's some wonderful local art galleries here.

I came here when I was a boy.

I nearly drowned in the sea in front of this hotel.

Trying to rescue my sister, as a matter of fact,

which, ultimately, I successfully did.

I nearly drowned too, when I was the same age.

It's something we've got in common.

Drowning?

Surviving.

I'll unpack.

Let's get comfortable.

URSULA LAUGHS

What's so funny?

Nothing.

Ursula was sure Derek's first-night nerves would soon pass.

It's just here. Thank you.

She also hoped the house would look more cheerful in sunlight.

I trust you consider it suitable? It's very nice.

THEY LAUGH

But as Derek carried her over the threshold,

she decided to stop caring that the house was drab.

All that mattered was that the inhabitants were happy.

Now, I know you're not used to cooking,

so I'm expecting a few bad dinners,

but I'm confident you'll improve with practice.

I really like stews.

Ursula hated stews.

I'll make some.

I know you had servants, growing up...

Well... Staff.

..but I'm just a humble schoolteacher.

To my mind, there's not much more important in the world

than a good schoolteacher.

Let me show you the rest of the house.

Mother picked out a lot of the decor.

I hope you like it.

Very much.

What a nice dining room.

Now, we'll be eating in the kitchen. This is my study.

No girls allowed.

I'm joking, of course.

You may dust the sideboards and sweep the floor

but I must beg you not to touch anything on the desk.

On that desk lay the keys to our future fortune.

My publishers believe the new textbook that I'm writing

will sell even better than the last one.

And the last one sold jolly well, so...

Perhaps I could help you with your book.

I can type up your notes for you,

and the manuscripts, when you're ready.

That's so sweet, but entirely unnecessary.

To write, a man needs the three Ps.

Do you know what they are?

Pencil, paper and peace.

Find yourself a flat surface.

Good. Make sure this bar hits here.

Would you like a go?

She said she's a bit of a slave to the kitchen but she's very happy.

Derek's working hard on his new textbook, which is exciting.

It's called From Plantagenets To Tudors.

Oh, God! What's it called?

She really did pick the most boring man alive to marry.

I think it's rather rum that she hasn't invited any of us over.

It's not rum, Teddy. They're newlyweds.

She's fine. Here, read her letter if you want.

DOOR CLOSES

SHE HUMS 'ST LOUIS BLUES'

SHE WHISTLES 'ST LOUIS BLUES'

# It makes me think I'm

# On my last go 'round... #

Oliphant?

Oliphant. Why do I know that name?

Perhaps you know my husband, Derek Oliphant.

Oh, yes, I knew his mother.

She worked here years ago.

Helped make the sandwiches for the teas.

So you're married to her son, then?

She used to bring him around sometimes.

He must have been about nine.

Now he's a teacher and a writer.

Oh.

What was he like as a little boy? Good?

Or always getting into trouble with his sister?

Sister? His sister.

There was no sister. Mrs Oliphant never mentioned another child.

She may not have mentioned another child, but Derek has a sister.

He's mentioned her several times.

How is it?

Too much salt? Too little salt?

Criticism will be gratefully received.

There's far too much salt.

I passed the tennis club today.

I filled out a membership form.

Didn't I tell you that I've already spent all of my money on you?

I've bought you an entire house.

URSULA GROANS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Are you sure you've got the right house?

If Mr Oliphant resides here, then we have the right house.

I'm afraid your husband is, as we say, in arrears.

Considerable arrears.

He owes us a great deal of money...

..and has ceased to respond to our communications.

And you're the bank? We're the bank's representatives.

We were garnering a proportion of his salary but, as you know,

he's now been released from his position at the school.

No.

That's not correct. That's where he is now.

I don't know where he is now, dear, but it isn't the school.

He was fired.

He was overzealous disciplining a student.

They threatened to go to the police.

Well...

..what do you want me to do?

Mrs Oliphant, we don't know where the money is to come from.

But unless it is found,

the bank will retake ownership over this here house.

Mr Oliphant is writing a book

and he expects that to bring in a certain amount.

His last one did very well.

I can talk to him about securing an advance of sales.

Yeah, Mr Oliphant has referenced the hoards of gold

he made from his last textbook.

Only trouble was, when we looked into it, it doesn't exist.

It was never published.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, you do not!

You're a liar! You've written no books!

You don't even own this house! We're up to our ears in debt!

URSULA GROANS

URSULA SCREAMS

THUD

SHE WHIMPERS

It was the longest walk of Ursula's life.

Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it might give out.

All the way, she expected to hear his footsteps

running up behind her.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, my God.

Her nose is definitely broken.

You'll need an X-ray to confirm it

but I think her cheek bone is cracked. That might require surgery.

All right.

Are you going to involve the police? No!

Apparently not.

Listen, when you called, I thought it was about having dinner again.

I very much enjoyed myself last time.

It was a hoot. Let's do it again.

SHE GIGGLES

John, you're half my age.

Another dinner would be madness and heartbreak.

What good could possibly come of it?

Ursula sent a message to Fox Corner saying she had gone away

for the summer.

A touring holiday of the Highlands, with Derek.

URSULA LAUGHS

Those teeth are even better than your first lot, don't you think?

Thank you.

Thank you for paying for them.

Happy to.

The Adventures Of Augustus is still wildly successful.

I'm still writing one every six months,

and they sell out constantly.

I've got fat little royalty cheques flying about all over the place.

One thing I do not have is anyone to share my good fortune with.

Well...

..thank you for sharing it with me.

Moten Swing by Count Basie

Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't know what's the matter with me.

I can't keep falling asleep everywhere.

Sleep is a great healer.

I'm off to what I expect will be a very dull soiree.

I can't find my keys, so let me in when I get back, will you?