2 Broke Girls

Miss, I'm done here.

Oh, I've been done here for years.

You don't see me getting a parade.

Oh, looks like we lost electricity.

Uh-oh, all the food in the refrigerator will go worse.

Is it a bad sign that

I can actually see everything better?

Well, we finally found lighting that made the food look edible.

Yeah, it's almost dark enough for Caroline

to agree to have sex in here.

Max, have you ever seen balls in light?

They're not pretty.

Nobody panic!

The power is out in the whole building.

We've got less energy than a Steely Dan concert.

Han, you look exactly like

a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock" right now.

All right, we've got to keep the diner safe

from hooligans and looters.

You're still on the clock!

And you're on my foot.

Sorry, Earl, I can't see you in the dark....

But not in a racist way.

And I can't see you in the light

in a short way.

Han, who would loot this diner?

Unless they're looters looking specifically for disappointment.

Max?

Just taking this vodka

and cash register to a safe place.

Our new dessert bar is under construction

and it's not quite there yet.

Kind of like the credit card bill

I lied about mailing,

but I've chosen you two to be the first to get a preview.

She invited other people. They said, "No."

She told me there would be some hard candy.

Better be some hard candy.

I have peppermints inside.

Then we're fine.

So it doesn't look like much now,

but with a little moxie and a lot of work,

it's gonna be gorgeous.

Like Khloé Kardashian.

Is that the one that's a dude now?

Okay, where's my treat?

Impressive,

and you've stolen almost nothing

from the diner to do this.

Oh, wait, I see my sport coat is being used as a paint rag.

That coat's yours?

I thought it belonged to a service Chihuahua.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, yeah.

Hubba, hubba, hot stuff.

You know, if I were still single,

I'd let you Spackle my hole.

You heard what she said, beefcake.

I'm not gay.

I'm just very pro-harassment.

I'm proud of you, girls.

You're making your dreams come true,

and my dreams, too, assuming you'll allow me

to start a tab here.

I'll never pay.

Does this mean you're not paying your tab at the diner?

Uh-huh.

Earl?

He walks fast when he wants to.

I gotta get going too.

You know, we just came from the baby doctor,

and he put me on bed rest.

At first I thought the doctor said, "Bed arrest, '

which is one of my favorite games.

Sophie, what's wrong? Are you okay?

Well, I'm five months along,

and the baby already weighs 15 pounds,

so the doctor's just a little worried.

He's afraid it'll fall out

like a watermelon through a plastic grocery bag.

Come on, baby, let's get you in bed

and get your legs up.

I can't believe none of this has to do with sex.

Yeah.

Knock, knock. It's Randy.

I got a six-pack...

And I brought some beers.

Who wants some warm, wet, deli beer?

This is why you're the best boyfriend ever.

Warm, wet deli beer is the official drink

of my personality.

So, Randy, look.

What do you think of the new bar space?

I've got a bar-related question.

How you gonna fit in the bar?

It's all right here on the blueprints, see?

The bar goes here, so that leaves ten feet

for the cafe tables and the front door entrance.

Uh, you see this number ten right here?

You see the two dashes after it? Those are inches, not feet.

You got 10 inches.

First time I've ever been disappointed with 10 inches.

Well, that's the last time I get an architect

from the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist.

Ugh.

The lady from the pizza place next door is banging back again.

Yeah, they should pay less attention to our business

and more attention to their own.

There's so much oil on their pizza,

the U.S. might invade it.

You know what?

I think we've just

blown past "warm beers."

I'm gonna go get us some whiskey.

10 inches always looks a whole lot bigger with bourbon.

Oh, my God, Max, we need more space.

I know; we spend way too much time together.

Hey!

Enough with the noise, cupcake bitches.

You gotta stop with this freakin' racket already.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, Gina.

What, 'cause I'm Italian,

my name's gotta be Gina?

It's Angie. Gina's my middle name.

Oh, I thought your middle name was "bangs a lot."

Angie, we're expanding our shop,

and we have a permit for the construction,

so it's above board.

Which, yes, even I'm surprised about.

You got a permit to destroy my business?

Nobody wants to eat pizza

next to this constant freaking racket.

What's your freaking point?

Max, I didn't know you spoke Italian.

Follow me.

I want yous to see the hell you're making.

Um, that's a firm pass.

- I'll throw in a free slice. - Okay.

See?

See what you're doing to our office

from all that banging next door?

You're destroying it.

Uh, look, you can't destroy a room

that has this strong of a "hostage basement" vibe.

You got cracks, and falling plaster,

and my brother and I are fed up.

Right, Angelo?

He says, "Right."

He's my twin.

We agree with our minds.

Um, Angie, when do we get that free slice?

Not to be pushy, but a deal is a deal,

and today's a carb day for me.

What the frig?

I just got my hair cut for our high school reunion.

Now it's ruined.

It's a frickin' war zone in here!

My father would be turning in his grave

if we'd been able to give him a proper burial.

How you gonna make this right?

Look, Angie and Angelo,

we're sorry about the inconvenience,

but it'll just be another week of construction.

We promise to keep the noise down to a minimum.

Right, Max?

She's agreeing with her mind.

Hey, just came by to see if everything's okay,

and to say I've never seen the statue of David

with a slice of pizza over his junk.

Who's this hunk of gabbagoul?

This hunk is Randy, and he's my...

Lawyer, and I'm sure he's here to make sure there's no problem.

There's not problem, right, Angie?

The only problem I see now is that shirt on him.

Hi, I'm Angie,

but I'm thinking about changing my name to yours.

Props, that's a good line.

So, Angie, what do you think?

Can you stand another week of the construction?

All right.

I'll give yous two another week,

'cause of Randy here,

but that's the last thing I ever do for you two.

You, I'd do whatever you want..

Tonight and in perpetuity.

"Perpetuity"?

Better not be Italian for "the butt."

Guys,

I have a genius idea to fix the dessert bar problem.

What if somehow we could convince Angie

to let us break through the wall and rent out their back office?

Come on!

This is a genius idea.

Their business is struggling,

and we could pay them rent.

It's either that or we have to use

dollhouse furniture for the dessert bar.

You know what? She's right.

It is a good idea.

You just gotta figure out a way to get on Angie's good side.