Road to Rio

Where are we heading for?

Wide open spaces where men are men.

And the women? No women!

That's how we got into this thing.

Yike!

Head south, boy! It's gonna be a cold winter.

What do you say we book our act around here?

Good idea. No girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Oklahoma.

Pa! Pa!

But he sung so pretty.

I'll get him if it's the last thing I do.

What did he tell you his name was?

Frank Sinatra.

Hey, Scat? How about playing some dates in Texas?

Now you're talking. No girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Texas.

I reckon we lost them, Buck.

Yeah, but they're gonna be mighty easy to track down.

One of them told my little sister his name was Gene Autry.

Louisiana!

No girls anywhere pretty as the girls...

No, you don't! We're gonna stay right here and get ourselves a job.

Yoo-hoo!

I know: " Don't phone us, we'll phone you."

Don't race your motor, I booked a date for us. We're gonna be eating again.

Good news for the mice. No we can quit stealing their cheese.

I'm so hungry, my pucker won't puck.

My waistline was practically back to normal.

Which one? Where we playing?

Johnson's Mammoth Carnival. Oh, the seals couldn't make it, huh?

What a setup! We sing, we dance, we recite, and then you do your specialty.

Oh, I'll blow them out of the joint.

Well, this is a little different. This is a novelty act.

What kind of novelty?

All you have to do is ride a bicycle.

What kind of bicycle? Oh, a regulation bicycle.

Standard equipment. Oxyacetylene lamp, a new departure coaster breaker.

Do I ride it fast? The slower the better.

No hands, huh? That's entirely up to you.

Well, pack up your bugle. Let's fly from this fleabag.

Lucky our laundry came back.

This time I'll take the money so some gal won't tear it out of you with tears.

No more. Heart of stone, that's me! Come along!

What is this?

Don't want to wake up the desk clerk. Come along.

"We're full of glee My buddy and me We're happy all day through"

"You'll always see us Laughing ha! like little boys We're so full of joys"

"But that's why we say to you"

"We're on our way"

"To Apalachicola Bay"

Tell me, where's Apalachicola? Clever town, down south.

Down south? What are we wearing this long underwear for?

Because we're quite a target.

"Magnolia trees and possum And a pretty southern gal"

"It's better than the orange groves In Cucamonga, Cal"

"We're gonna stay Along the Apalachicola Bay"

"We may stop in Old Cliff Corner For some ham and grits"

"Or pass through Tallahassee If the weather permits"

"We're on our way"

"To Apalachicola, F-L-A"

"Way down upon the Swanee"

"The Swanee River"

Swanee! Oh, that old Swanee!

I can't wait to get down there.

See my little old mammy with that load of cotton coming up the road.

And there's my sweet old pappy.

He's always got a load.

Oh, and that Confederate moonlight

shines down and makes those stills look so swanky.

And that Thanksgiving dinner, hmph.

When they barbecue a Yankee.

Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak.

"Carry me back"

"To old Virginny"

Virginny. Ow!

The path to the schoolhouse down which I would wind

with my little bitty old ball weevil trudging behind.

Come along, Ball. Come on.

My pa bet on horses that always ran fourth,

so Ma rented cabins to the folks from up north.

Apalachicola, I hear you calling! Apalachicola!

"I'm on my way" "Well, let's go!"

"We're on our way to..."

"Apalachicola Apalachicola"

"Apalachicola Apalachicola"

"Apalachicola Apalachicola"

"Apalachicola Apalachicola"

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo!

More? We're killing them. Shall I tap them with an encore?

No. It's time now for the topper, your novelty act.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, you fools!

Hmm, thank you, you doll. Don't leave the grounds.

Here, here. Get dressed! Warm them up.

Oh, Mr. Johnson!

Our contractual obligation, hmm?

I hope your partner does better than the Great Sandar.

He'll be in the hospital for at least six months.

Yes, well, don't you worry about Barton the Magnificent.

He'll give you a good show if it kills him.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

You made a good deal, Mr. Johnson.

Psst!

Does Notre Dame know about this boy?

A little insurance. He'll see that your partner doesn't get cold feet.

Too late!

Shall we, then? What a build.

You think Superman will sue?

Just as I thought, falsies.

Falsies? You kidding? That's real flab.

What's this for?

I'm gonna play a fast chorus of "Dinah" while I'm riding the bike...

Oh, no. Just whistle it, kid.

My bread! lt'll be all right, don't worry.

Come along. Here we go! Hup!

Up here? Yes, sir! Hey!

Hey, wait a minute! Where am I going? Why am I climbing?

Your bicycle's up there. My...?

You want me to ride that thing?

Up there in the stratosphere? Who do you think I am? Mr. Jordan?

Up that ladder!

How did Mount Baldy get into this?

Up that ladder!

Get yourself an eagle, brother! Wait a minute!

What is this? What kind of...? Wait a minute, please!

I can't stand altitude. I get dizzy spells.

Wait a minute! Not too high, my nose will bleed!

Wait! I may hatch this, you know!

Take it easy. We're getting 200 bucks for this. See?

Well, let me hold it. If anything goes wrong, at least I won't die poor!

You can trust me, boy. I'll take care of your dough.

You'll take care of it, all right, until some dame comes along.

All they have to do is tell you the sad story of their life and you wanna give it a happy ending!

Steady now, I'm getting ice on my ears!

Don't push, we're here.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I have to go down, I forgot my rosin.

Your attention, please!

Barton the Magnificent will now perform a sensational...

- an aerial feat: The Ride Through Space!

What's your problem, honey?

I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

Oh, there, there.

Well, just tell old Scat all about it.

Please! I'd like to talk it over a second.

Just one second! Please!

nerves of steel!

Introducing Barton the Magnificent,

substituting for Sandar,

who, unfortunately broke his leg this afternoon.

Just a sec! I'm not getting enough money!

Whoa! Whoa! Please! Please!

Wait! Wait a minute! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

I did it! I did it! Oh, no, you don't!

Just one show! Oh, no!

Please, it's windy out there! Please! Don't!

Where'd you go?

Aaargh! Oh, please!

Help! Help!

Help!

Help! Help! Help!

You know, this picture could end right here.

Scat! Do something, you burglar! Lay your coat down! Help!

Hang on, pal. Old Scat will take care of you.

Tilt!

Hey! Don't let that wagon get away from you, now! Giddap!

Whoa! Attaboy!

See you at the Derby. You'll be glue if you talk to him.

"Queen of Brazil." Ha-ha!

No girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Brazil.

Oh!

Don't beat their heads in till I get my money back.

You can break his legs, but don't tear the tights, they belong to me.

Come on, let's find him.

Watch your step, folks.

Step carefully, please.

Watch your step!

Snap it up!

This is a Texas steer. He's still kicking a little.

Hey, where are you going? Put it on the block!

Any more? That's it, matey. Close her up!

Okay!

Don't go away. I'll be right back.

Hot Lips?

Psst!

Hot Lips?

Let me hear from you!

Hot Lips? Psst!

Well, I'm getting warm. That's ham.

Hot Lips!

Huh? Huh?

Quiet, quiet. You sound like a typewriter.

How do you feel? Huh?

Like a popsicle. Where are we?

I'll get you a spot of tea. Come on.

What I need is a blowtorch.

You look like an ad for Kool Cigarettes. Come on.

So long, fellas.

Where are we? What happened? Who was it?

Hurry. This is bad for my throat.