You're Cordially Invited

Welcome home, cuddle bug.

Snug like a bug in a rug.

Hi, Daddy, Daddy, fo-faddy, banana-bana, fo-faddy.

Who's in the house?

Uh, Daddy's in the house.

Big Papa's in the house.

Big Papa, Big Papa, Big Papa, Big-- whoo!

Break it down.

Yeah. Keep it going. Don't stop.

- Hey, Dad. - Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

-How's everything? You good? -Yeah. Yeah, good.

Yeah?

Hey.

- Hey. - Oh.

I didn't know Oliver would be joining us.

Yeah.

Wait, what...?

We're getting married.

Are you okay?

- That's a lot of blood. - That's a lot of blood at once.

I'm fine. I put a towel on it.

It's all wrapped up.

So, are you guys sure about this?

-What do you mean? -You two are pretty young.

Yeah, but you and Mom got married right after college.

Also, isn't it a little weird that you didn't ask my permission?

What, Dad?

I'm just saying, don't you think it's a little odd

that he didn't, like, go for the permish?

-The permish? -Yeah.

It's just the polite thing to do to just go for the permish.

Simple heads-up. "Hey, man. Hey, Jim.

I'm marrying your daughter, who you spent your whole life raising alone."

Dad, why are you doing this?!

Why are you picking a fight on literally the best day of my life?!

Who the fuck is this motherfucker?!

-What? -I don't fucking know that guy.

Yes, you do. You've known him for fucking years.

Yes, technically, I know him,

but I don't really know him, like husband know him.

Well, now you do.

-Where are you gonna live? -Oh, you want to know where we're gonna live?

-I would love to know 'cause I thought you were moving back in here with me! -Oh.

Well, we-we're gonna live here in Atlanta.

- You are? - -Yeah, we could end up living down the street,

but instead you make it all about you,

-like always. -No, no.

Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not about me.

It isn't.

I just want everything for you, that's all.

- I know you do, Daddy. - Oh.

I'm so sorry. I should've told Oliver to call you.

No, this is your decision, okay?

Congratulations. Welcome to the family.

Are you sure your hand's okay?

-There's, like, blood everywhere. -Yeah, look, it's totally fine.

-Yeah. -Come, b-bring it in.

Oliver.

All right, well...

Let's dive right in. I can't wait to plan this.

No need. I'm gonna ask Heather to plan it.

Heather? She... Isn't she the one who parties all the time?

Yeah, which is why she's perfect.

She planned Crunk Fest for our sorority.

Yeah, Crunk Fest was lit.

Yes, that's right. You did say Crunk Fest was lit.

Oh, yeah.

Any-any thoughts of where you might want to get married?

I thought we'd get married where you and Mom got married.

Palmetto House. Scarlett speaking.

Hi, Scarlett.

My name is Jim Caldwell. I don't know if you remember me.

I got married at your inn many years ago.

Oh, yes, Jim, I remember your wedding.

Oh, great.

Well, now my daughter Jenni would love to get married

at the Palmetto as well, uh, next summer.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Now, May is fully booked,

and as you know, given the size

of the island, we can only book one wedding per weekend.

Okay, uh, how about June 1st?

June 1st? June 1st it is.

Yes. Uh, we'll book the entire place.

Let me get you a credit card.

I'll take care of that later, Jim.

You're a friend of the family.

-Oh. -See you June 1st.

That sounds great.

Just need to find a pen that works.

I'm sorry?

Wha... Hello?

Jenni Caldwell, June 1st.

Mercy.

Your wedding has been booked.

Who's in the house?

Big Daddy's in the house.

-Who's in the house? -Big Daddy's in the house.

And Oliver's in the house.

Yes, Oliver is. Oliver's in the house, too.

Yeah, we're all in the house.

- Palmetto House, my gosh. - And now that you've done your research,

it's time to answer the question we've all been waiting to ask:

Is it dead?

From afar,

- the raccoon is indeed dead. - Dead.

I would like to use one of my approach points.

I'm sorry, the raccoon was in fact not dead.

Up next, from Black Sheep Productions.

Yeah, tell them I'll be there in three minutes. Okay.

-Margot. Margot. -Yeah.

Sandra from the network called.

-In an upcoming episode of Dirty Thirties... -Mm-hmm.

...they're feeling like Melody is a bit of a... bit of a-a "B."

-A what? -Like a b-- uh, uh...

B-B, uh...

-Are you trying to say the word "bitch"? -Oh, my gosh.

I would never, I support women, but yes.

Of course she's a bitch.

Reality television was built as a platform for bitchy women.

These network executives are starting to sound like my mother.

-Just tell them to fuck off. -Okay.

-But in a nice way. -Yeah.

Like how I would say it.

"Fuck off, y'all."

-Not the same words. -Uh, "We're-we're not seeing eye to eye."

-Better. Mm. -"Respectfully."

-Uh, remember, Peyton's gonna be here for his pitch any minute now. -Got it.

Neve? Dixon?

Hi!

Wait, I didn't realize you were coming so soon.

-We made super good time. -Oh, I'm so excited to see you.

-Hello. -Welcome to L.A.

Oh, my God, it's Peyton Manning.

- Hey. - Oh, hi.

-Margot Buckley. -Hey. Peyton.

I've been so excited to pitch you this.

You know, um...

Are you engaged?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God, you're engaged!

My baby sister's engaged.

-I'm engaged. -Oh, my God. Okay.

Let me see, let me see.

You did so good.

You're gonna be my brother-in-law.

Oh, my God. Oh.

Okay, how did you do it? What did you say? Did you get down on one knee?

Uh, Peyton Manning's just kind of waiting right there.

Oh, yeah, but Peyton Manning can wait.

Oh, yeah, you know, took her to Ruth's Chris

and just kind of said, "Do you want to get married?"

And then I was like, "Yes!"

Okay, this is Neve and I at Palmetto Island.

-The most beautiful place on Earth. -Which our mama hates.

Oh, she hates it.

And this is us in our Esprit T-shirts. We were obsessed.

-We never took them off. -Never.

Why are all these photos just you and Neve?

Don't y'all have like two other siblings and also, you know, parents?

Oh, yeah, I don't like them, and they don't like me.

Oh, I thought that was just like a, like a cute thing you said.

-No, it's not. -No.

That's too bad. All right.

If I may, where's the commode?

Oh, it's at the end of the hall, on the left.

Cool.

Let me tell you something.

If you get married and abandon me, I'm gonna...

Babe, what's wrong?

Mom's just made this whole thing such a nightmare.

Dixon's the sweetest man on planet Earth, but Mom doesn't approve.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe that woman.

That makes my blood boil.

He is a fantastic guy.

I don't know, I think it's his occupation.

Well...

Exotic dancing is a very solid job.

It's not just that. She's just like... You know how she is, Margot.

She's obsessed with me doing it at the club like Gwynny and Colton.

And, "Neve, do it exactly how Gwynny did."

Why don't you just tell her to back the "F" off?

Margot, I can't. I'm not like you, okay?

I'm the family peacemaker.

Okay.

Look...

I'm gonna plan your wedding.

I can't ask you to do that.

You're not asking me. I'm telling you.

You're my baby sister.

What did we say at Nana's?

Always in your corner forever.

Do you even know how to plan a wedding?