Happy Birthday

All characters, dialogues, events, the crazy and fun stuff,

and their consequences in this film are a work of faction...

Err... I mean, fiction.

This story takes place in the Sin city of Zelangana

which is located in a country named Zindia.

To all the viewers who have come to watch this movie

with utmost excitement and anticipation,

thank you.

The movie will start immediately after this disclaimer.

Hush. Silence!

-What is this! -This is ridiculous!

I think the minister has lost his mind!

Is this really the parliament?

This is idiocy in the name of democracy.

You're wasting people's precious time and money

by allocating time to such retards!

-Don't show off in English! -You're a moron!

What nonsense is this?

Okay! Okay! Unparliamentary words in the parliament.

I've taken note of all the expletives thrown against me.

Stop it.

But unlike them, I will uphold the dignity...

Wake up, Lola! Uphold the dignity of the house...

I just want to say one thing. Before the formation of any reformation...

I will kill you!

Before the evolution of any revolution, the person who proposed it

was always shunned by the people!

Be it Aristotle, Socrates, Galileo or me.

But let me announce something. Had you waited, they'd have passed the bill.

Sorry, sir.

Even though I didn't pass my Class 10 exams,

I will make sure I pass the Gun Bill today!

FACE TO FACE INTERVIEW WITH RITHWIK SODHI

"A pen to write with, a gun to defend with,"

is the slogan coined by Defense Minister Rithwik Sodhi.

In a country where not everyone has access to drinking water,

Gun Amendment Bill has been proposed to give guns to every family.

So, how did you even get this idea?

Instead of asking how I got this idea, be ashamed for never getting this idea.

Alright, I'm ashamed. Now answer me.

-Mr. Somaraj... -My name is Nagaraj.

Mr. Raj, what would you do if thieves broke into your house?

I'd panic.

Sad! Ideally, thieves should panic before breaking into your house,

-and I'll make sure they do. -And how is that?

-What would you do after panicking? -I'll call the cops.

-Will thieves wait until the cops arrive? -No. They'll flee by then.

-What do cops do when thieves flee? -They chase them or shoot them with a gun.

What if you had that gun all along?

-Do you get my drift? -No, I don't.

Exactly! Nobody seems smart enough to get my drifts and skids.

So, you encourage keeping deadly weapons in our homes?

Mr. Prakash Raj... How do you chop vegetables?

-I don't, my wife does. -Patriarchy.

I'm not asking who chops vegetables at your house.

-I'm asking how you chop vegetables. -With a knife.

Isn't knife a deadly weapon too? You can chop vegetables with a knife

and also kill people with a knife. Will you ask for a ban on knives too?

If knives are as deadly, why not use only knives? Why guns?

With a knife, we can only stab the people nearby.

We can't shoot down fleeing thieves.

But if we go on providing guns to everyone--

We aren't providing guns to everyone, Mr. Dhanraj!

There are many sets of rules and regulations,

offers and obligations, references and recommendations.

-Can you name a few? -You know, like Aadhar Card,

we have Aayudh Card. Then we have Gun Seva,

Gun Bheema Program, Graduate Gun Scheme.

Also, we will provide free guns to those who pay income taxes.

People will pay taxes on time at least to get a free gun.

It's a win-win situation!

Don't you think people will start taking the law in their hands after this?

Law is not a paper straw for people to take in their hands, Mr. Dil Raj.

But people will take guns in their hands and kill each other.

-No, they won't. -How can you be so sure?

I have a gun on me right now. No, I don't, but imagine I do.

I'd shoot you if you are unarmed. But if you have a gun, I won't risk it.

I'll be wary. I'll be cautious.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But a gun for a gun kills none.

Why? You don't consider nuns as people?

I meant N-O-N-E, none! Not N-U-N, nun.

-So, what are your final remarks? -Mr. Katraj...

All you need is one idea to write and rewrite history.

This idea of mine has stoked fire within our party.

All our excited party workers are like, "Sir, this fire is so hot!"

I want to give every citizen this hotness!

As if the summer heat isn't enough, the minister wants to give us extra heat.

Anyway! All the best, sir.

I pray your stupid ideas don't lead to stupid consequences.

Thank you for your time. Oh! And it is your birthday today!

Hap--

The Gun Amendment Bill being proposed by Minister Rithwik Sodhi...

Has been passed by the government amidst great uproar in the house.

-Can we call this idea idiotic? -Yes, of course!

You get out of my studio!

Celebrities across the nation have responded to the Gun Bill.

You are just immature or ignorant!

You can't be surprised by the controversy...

It's none of your damn business what I think about that.

Get up, stand up for your rights!

-Hash tag "Sodhi Is A Donkey" is trending. -No, no! Sodhi and I are good friends.

Whatever he does, he does it for the nation's good.

I'm sure this Gun Bill will make our nation a peaceful one.

Gun Supply Contract has been allotted to Russia's Boris Nikolai.

The minister calls this a friendly gesture between the two nations.

Celebrations are at an all-time high.

You can see people dancing on the streets!

I don't understand why some people even live!

These people don't even have basic sense.

The government has announced that guns will be on sale from tomorrow.

Wow! Really?

You can see people waiting in long queues to buy guns.

WEAPONS SALE

You can see that the gun markets set up in every corner have become a huge success.

LESS DURABILITY HIGH PRICE

I don't know if we should be happy or sad...

A GUN FOR EVERY HOUSE

...about the kind of acceptance and encouragement this is getting.

We need to accept that the country is advancing.

-Advancing in the reverse direction? -A regressive guy like you would say so.

People seem to be in love with this new amendment.

There are discounts, deals and offers everywhere!

Everyone has a gun! Man, this is so much fun!

We owe our children a life free from violence and fear.

I'm so excited!

I only used to fire toy guns on Diwali. But now, I'll fire real guns.

Gold bullets for old people! Silver bullets for sexy people!

No bullets for naughty people!

Put this in my tab.

-Machine Guns for henna! -Check out this gun, sir!

-Pistols for parties! -Try this gun, sir!

-Rifles for receptions! -Please, try this gun..

You heard this? Free guns to those who have Aayudh Card!

Free guns, my foot! They aren't even letting us in.

This is what we get for escaping from prison?

-Got you! -Wait! Return my mic!

Ruckus in the gun market! Customers break into a brawl over discounts! Many hurt.

Back in the day, it was sing and dance! Nowadays, it is fire in trance!

Visit the gun market, buy one for your pocket.

FIRST CHAPTER HAPPY

You look just like me, boss! Our hairstyles are different though.

I agree. This is so surprising. You are just like me.

I hope we aren't twins like in those Telugu movies.

Hey! Everything is in place for your birthday party.

All you have to do is arrive in style!

Oh, no! You are making me blush!

HAPPY AISHA

What? Say that again?

If I said it once, it is like I said it a thousand times.

Trying to be a smart-ass, are you not?

Do re mi fa... Come on!

I don't know, ma'am.

Also, wear a dress that'd stun everyone!

THAT'S ALL, YOU SAY?

There is no looking back anymore!

I hope no one is suspecting me.

Shit! I'm busted!

No! Please, don't shoot me! Don't shoot me! No...

-Guys, what's the matter? -Pink Tie, please tell them.

Sir, he is not carrying any weapons!

Sir, you have to leave. We can't let you in.

Why not?

-It is clearly written in bold letters. -Where? Oh, here!

No gun, no entry.

-I don't need a gun. Just let me in. -Gun is for your safety.

Isn't our safety your job?

Your safety must be in your hands, not ours.

Throw him out!

Pink Tie, I hope you die!

You son of a...

Damn! What is this glow?

What a glow!

-Not allowed. -You think I don't have a gun?

-Beretta 92! Nice to meet you! -Not allowed!

Oh! You think I'm stag entry? Come on, babe!

-We are a couple! -Not allowed!

Stop saying the same thing like a broken record! What is your name?

I'll handle this, Batista. Tell me, sir? What's the problem?

He no entering! Mine in the inside.

Very eloquently put, sir. I'll solve this. Please come this side.

-Where do you want to go, sir? -I want to go inside, bro!

-Bro? -I'll handle this, babe.

Sir, this hotel comes with a lot of built-in facilities and amenities.

So could you be more specific, please?

FIT 2 FAT GYM - BANK OF ROBBERS - LICK A CHICK - POSH PUB

Stop pretending like you can read.

-Posh Pub! -Wow! Excellent choice, sir.

I know.

But I'm extremely sorry, sir, you're not allowed.

Is it because you think I'm under-aged? No! I've turned 18 today.

-Today is my happy birthday! -Very relevant information, sir,

-but it's only for posh people, sir. -You think I'm cheap?

-Absolutely, sir. -Check out my rings!

Hi, ma'am. Welcome! You're looking absolutely gorgeous. Have a great night.

Hey! You grilled me with questions but let her pass just like that?

Sir, because she is appropriately dressed, but you're not.

So, you'll let me in if I change my attire?

Quite certainly, sir.

Wait, darling! It is time for shopping.