An American in Texas

Subtitles by explosiveskull

In the early morning hours of August 2nd,

following negotiations and promises

by Iraq's dictator, Saddam Hussein,

not to use force,

a powerful Iraqi Army invaded its trusting

and much-weaker neighbor, Kuwait.

Within three days, 120,000 Iraqi troops

with 850 tanks, had poured into Kuwait

and moved south to threaten Saudi Arabia.

It was then that I decided to act to check that aggression.

At this moment, our brave service men and women

stand watch in that distant desert and on distant seas.

Side-by-side with the forces of more than 20 other nations.

They are some of the finest men and women

of the United States of America,

and they're doing one terrific job.

["Devil's in the Details" by Walker Sickert]

A new world order.

A nation of thieves.

Freer from the threat of terror.

Stronger in the pursuit of justice.

Jesus, who writes this stuff?

New world order?

What the fuck does that even mean?

Holy shit, look at all that red, white and blue.

Drinks to the last and greatest betrayal

of the last and greatest of human frailty.

Dude, two of those will seriously fuck you up,

so, you should probably take five.

Fuck you.

I gotta be at the hospital at 6:30.

Hey, who cares?

After the demo's done,

you won't even need your fuckin' scholarship.

- Okay, guys. - We outta here.

Catch ya later.

You guys sold the last one?

All right, so we got...

- $3,500 here. - Who's getting paid?

We'll need 1,500 to afford an apartment

and we still need a van.

All right, let's do this.

Gentlemen, lease be mindful of your shoes on the floor.

Are there boxes in the closets?

Yes, thank you.

They're mostly wardrobe boxes, but we are still working at it.

- Gotcha. - 'Scuse me, ma'am.

- Do you need this? - No.

All right, cool, we're gonna use it

to get the rest of the big animals out the way.

- Mom? - I'm in here, Kara.

Are there any boxes in here?

Yeah. Honey, yes, there's one right over here but, um...

- Chad. - Chad will take your things down for you, sweetheart.

It's a lovely beast, isn't it?

Shot it from 200 yards on a safari in Zimbabwe.

Not so beautiful with its head sawed off.

I didn't realize giraffes were dangerous, sir.

Dangerous?

That's a great album.

- Yeah, I love it. - What else do you listen to?

Ever heard of Surgeon General's Warning? SGW?

I think I've heard the name before.

No, you haven't, but you will.

Isn't that a band?

So you get to go to Victoria High?

Yeah, I'm a senior.

Must be kinda rough moving your senior year, huh?

Doesn't matter.

My stepdad works at the plant.

Right.

Is that where your bed always sits?

Yeah.

Well, how do you get in your closet?

I don't.

We move a lot, so,

I always try to arrange my room in the exact same way.

Doesn't always work out perfect

because of the doors and windows but...

Well, maybe I should just come back when you get all this boxed up.

Wait.

I'll make you a deal.

If I can guess which card you pick,

you have to pack up all my stuff.

No.

Pick one.

Nine of hearts.

Yeah, how'd you do that?

Get to packin' up my room.

- That's not magic. - Sure it is.

I made you believe in something that wasn't real.

It's an illusion, Chad.

Do you know what that is?

Hey, so, maybe I'll see you around, Victoria.

Yeah, sure.

Here's that tape that I was tellin' you about.

Some of our older stuff,

but we're recordin' an album soon.

- Oh, cool. - Check it out.

I'll see ya.

- Why is this $2.99? - Well, you see...

- But isn't this a dollar store? - Yes, ma'am.

Most of the things in the store are $1.00, but that...

It is misleading to call this a dollar store

when clearly there are things here that cost more than $1.00!

Zac, not today, please.

Ah!

Alfie, old boy.

Fancy seeing you here.

That's adorable, I'll take it!

Just don't do anything.

A true sign of the times.

A camera you use until you throw it away.

Now, let's find out which is the freshest.

- - Dammit man, please?

This one certainly smells the freshest.

No.

Look here now, you ring me up,

I'll let you keep the change.

Toodles!

These valiant Americans

were ready at a moment's notice

to leave their spouses and their children.

To serve on the frontline halfway around the world.

And they remind us, "Who keeps America strong?"

They do.

Oh, man, it's in Country Club Village.

Do they know we're coming? Have we been invited?

Oh, yeah, sure, Heather and I go way back.

We were best friends in kindergarten.

I used to give her my crayons. Come on.

- What's up? - What's up, man?

Can I help you with anything?

Yeah, we're here for the party.

Oh, dude, dude...

Party's over now.

Uh...

- Okay, yeah. - Yeah, sorry about that.

Dude, d'you know what'd be really rad though,

is if you could close the gate on your way out?

- Yeah, yeah, for sure, man. - Yeah?

- Yeah. Great shirt. - Dude, thanks.

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

Fuck it, my uncle's...

Cousins, two cousins...

My father, my grand-fuckin'-father

and all against their will.

Oh, these guys fuckin' now, man. You guys know.

If they bring back the draft, man, we got a fuckin' van, man.

Ready to go, man. We're ready for it, man.

We're not going to a fuckin' war, man.

- It's the next Vietnam. - Yeah.

Wasn't that guy gonna be a big football star at SMU?

Yeah, but they got the death penalty for cheatin' so that ain't happenin'.

Yeah, man, but he's makin' the smart move, man.

He joined the Air Force. Fuck being drafted.

- Huh? - Cool.

So, he joined the Air Force instead of bein' drafted?

What's the difference?

That's some fuckin' profound shit you just said, man.

You're right, man.

There's no room in the van, bro.

Too bad the party's over.

Yeah, or the fuckin' dick up front

forgot to tell these guys to leave.

It's pretty swell.

These girls are kinda weird but they're hot.

Oh, oh, oh...

Fuck.