The Bondsman

[ice cream truck playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Can, can you hold on one second?

Honey, Mommy's on a work call right now.

No more playing until you finish your veggies!

But I finished them, Mommy.

Okay, but just ten more minutes!

Sorry...

They should be back by now, right?

Yeah, I don't know.

Never sent my mom and my son to cremate a couple of demons before.

If the funeral home called the cops...

They won't.

- How can you be so sure? - Because they know

that we know about that other business

that they're running out of that funeral home. Don't ask.

Ah, goddamn.

Devil heals your neck but not your fingers, huh?

Yeah, I was hoping, but goes to figure, he's a sadist.

- -

That's Lucky's phone.

Uh, yeah, he must've dropped it when the demons came.

Well, bad news for him. I know his password.

What part of his life do you want to mess up first?

Hey, uh, you might want to brace yourself before looking at that.

Lucky was making a video for you of, uh--

- A video? - Yeah, me screaming in pain.

To show you how much he loved you.

Jesus.

- That's just sick. - Showed his true self.

At least now you see I was right about him.

And how long you're gonna milk that?

At least until my fingers heal.

Thank God.

I'll be right there.

How'd it go? Y'all okay?

Well, he wanted to stop off for Bojangles afterwards,

so I'd say he's handling it better than I am.

It's really good. I was starving.

Hey, do you want some?

- Dirty rice? - In the bag.

All good, then?

Yep. Had to remind the mortician

that looking the other way was a two-way street,

but we got her done.

Cade helped with the heavy lifting.

- Oh, hon, you're cut. - Yeah.

I scraped myself on the cremation chamber.

Oh, we are disinfecting that immediately.

- Well, I'm fine. - No, you're not. Now, mister.

I was half hoping he'd run away screaming.

You and me both.

Whole business made my blood run cold.

Cade didn't bat an eye.

- Handled it just like his daddy would? -

Tough kid.

You were trying to tell me something last night

about why you...

Oh, no, now ain't the time.

I don't want to know, Hub.

Not now, not ever.

Why?

We have our family back together.

Nothing is more important.

So whatever mistakes you made, I know they were just that.

Mistakes.

I'm trying to make up for 'em.

It might not seem like it, but I am, I swear.

I know you are.

I know your heart better than you know it yourself.

Up jumped the Devil.

"Pyralis demons are said to dwell

within blazing volcanoes and fiery abysses."

"Pyralis can summon and manipulate fire,

unleashing devastating torrents of flames to incinerate its enemies,

or engulf entire landscapes in searing conflagrations."

So we need to take it out before it completes its final sacrifice,

which should be right here.

That new development they built over the old Macon farm.

Then we should clear out every house before we take this demon on.

Whole place looks like a sad TV dinner.

Good riddance, I say.

Mom.

I'm not a monster.

Save the people, of course.

But if those houses go up, I ain't gonna cry.

She went on a date with the developer a couple years ago. Bert something?

Bert Eubanks?

And you didn't even tell me?

It was not a date.

- Mm-hmm. - So what?

All I'm saying is, this town used to have a little dignity.

So, if we do this, stop this Pyralis thing,

and you complete your assignment, what happens to you?

You go free, or...?

Or do you have to go back?

We should pray, y'all.

He sent my dad to Hell by mistake.

I got a beef with the Lord.

- Cade. - Pray with your grams.

Dear Lord, please bless us as we come to you today and ask for--

How are you gonna ask for my help, then blow off my calls?

Unexpectedly detained, but weren't you the one

who was baking cupcakes and sticking a gun in my face?

How about we both just let bygones be bygones, given what we're up against?

What is happening?

They're in on it. All of 'em.

- You roped your entire family into this? - I'm sorry, who are you?

She's his boss.

You have a demon-hunting boss?

She's not my boss.

I don't have a boss.

She's more like a... coordinator.

- Yeah, she's totally his boss. - Mm.

Look, we need to focus.

If the Pyralis demon completes the pentagram with a final human sacrifice...

It kind of sounds funny when I say it out loud, but...

it will unchain one of the Shackled Seven.

Well, do we want to find out who the Shackled Seven are?

'Cause I don't, I don't think that we do. I mean, I don't want to.

They were angels once until they joined Lucifer's rebellion against God and...

it didn't go so well.

So this whole deal is about some angel trying to bust out of Hell?

Former angel, who our boss is supposed to keep locked up

or face another war with Heaven.

With all of us trapped in the middle.

Oh, God.

You have a Hellboss, too, huh?

Nope. He's my coordinator.

But Corporate is pretty worried they may have sent the wrong guy.

So you're checking in with your Hellboss

in Corporate at the Devil's front company

'cause you're worried my ex-husband might not be

- the right guy to prevent Armageddon. - Which is why

I'm glad I got some help.

We're gonna follow your plan, clear those houses.

All right, well, the high school is an emergency shelter.

We could send everybody there.

- Mama, you still got that old gear? - Yeah, up in the attic.

If someone can help me with the boxes.

Yeah, I'll get it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're bringing them along? To fight a Pyralis?

If we fail, it's the end-times, right?

So, you gonna

join us and get your hands dirty, or are you just management?

I was trying to change.

Yeah, you saw me trying.

Probably laughing your ass off, seeing me stumble down

this screwy path you laid out.

Boston to Bumfuck to fall in love.

You had me going for a minute there.

You set me up perfect to rip the rug out,

making her ex a demon-summoning psycho from Hell.

That's a good one, Lord. Ha fucking ha.

You're a motherfucker for that part.

I told you they was witches.

Summoning demons is some classic witchy shit.

I'm mid-conversation here.

Just saying. Sorry.

I never believed that shit about you working in mysterious ways,

but I-I see it now.

Why y-you-you made me so quick to fly off the handle

or my dick get hard when I see a man die.

Or wishing I could feel bad about it when I know I can't.

It was all your design, you clever bastard.

You weren't cursing me. It was a gift.

You were preparing me to be here right now,

when you need a man like me.

The Devil's got his, and you need yours.

Well, all right, then.

Challenge accepted.

You need a holy warrior to fight the agents of Satan?

You got one, asshole.

- So give me a sign. -

Sorry.

Why are the cops calling you?

They keep leaving me messages about the Earles,

asking me if I was there on the day that they died.

But I haven't called them back, Lucky, I swear it.

I am not a rat.