Seinfeld

When are they gonna learn that any news about China

is an instant page-turner?

What's that?

It's a Wizard electronic organizer for my dad.

I'm goin' to Florida for his birthday.

How much was it?

Two hundred.

But I'll tell him it's 50.

He doesn't care about the gift,

he gets excited about the deal.

Where are you gettin' a Wizard for $50?

Ah, I'll tell him I got it on the street

and maybe it's hot.

That's his favorite.

I got a message from the Rosses at work today.

Susan's parents? When's the last time you talked?

At the funeral, give or take.

You know, deep down I always kinda felt

that they blamed me for Susan's death.

Why? Because you picked out the poisoned envelopes?

That's silly.

Oh. Um...

Darryl, these are...

people I know.

Jerry, George.

Nice meeting you.

I gotta run, Elaine. I'll see you later.

Okay.

Still no Puddy?

Ah, I think his answering machine's broken,

so I just gave up.

What do you think?

What, about you datin' a black guy?

What's the big deal?

What black guy?

Darryl.

He's black, isn't he?

He is?

No, he isn't.

Isn't he, Elaine?

You think?

I thought he looked Irish.

What's his last name?

Nelson.

That's not Irish.

I think he's black.

Should we be talkin' about this?

I think it's okay.

No, it isn't.

Why not?

Well, it would be okay if Darryl was here.

If he's black.

Is he black?

Does it matter?

No, of course not.

I mean, I'd just like to know.

So you need to know.

No, I don't need to know.

I just think it would be nice if I knew.

Shall I take that?

Uh, one second.

Oh, here.

Uh, yeah. Hang on.

Just...yeah.

Uh, Mrs. Ross, it's... It's George.

Who?

George Costanza,

Susan's, uh...friend?

Long time no speak.

We're all out of lime juice.

Told that woman to buy more.

George, the Susan Ross Foundation

is having an event this weekend.

Ohh, I just, uh, leased a house out in the Hamptons,

and I have got to get out there this weekend and sign the papers.

I'm goin' back to bed.

Thank you for calling George.

Oh, sure.

I mean, after all, you were almost my, uh...

Okay, I gotta go.

House in the Hamptons.

Well, I been lying about my income for a few years.

I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.

Well.

Hey.

Well, grab a cigar, boys.

Yeah. It's time to celebrate.

Oh, what are we celebrating?

Uh, you remember my coffee table book?

With the little legs?

That's the one.

A big Hollywood so-and-so optioned it

for a movie.

How are they gonna make that book into a movie?

Remember that photo book on toy ray guns?

Yeah?

Independence Day?

How much are they payin' you?

Let's just say that I don't have to worry about working

for a while, a long while.

That's funny because I haven't seen you working

for a while,

a long while.

And you're not going to. Because I'm hanging it up.

Boys, I'm retiring.

From what?

From the grind.

I mean, who needs it?

I've accomplished everything I've set out to do.

What's that?

Oh, I bought myself a little retirement gift.

Gold watch.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Well, it's not really gold.

Ohhh.

Ohhh.

Hey.

Hey.

Great music.

Oh, it's my neighbor.

They blast that stuff 24 hours a day. I hate it.

Yo, yo! Turn it down!

Oh, wow.

These are nice.

Do they have any cultural significance?

They're...African.

Right.

African.

Well, not "Africa." Actually, South Africa.

South Africa.

My family used to live there, but we got out years ago,

for obvious reasons.

You know how it is.

Maybe.

You must hate hot dogs, huh?

Or else you, uh...

You really like 'em and that's why you...

You do this.

I tell ya, if I had one of these things,

I'd be eatin' hot dogs all the time.

Are you gonna buy a hot dog or not?

No.

Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Ha, ha.

It's 5:30 in the morning.

We let you sleep in.

Well, as long as I'm up,

Dad, I got you a birthday present.

Here. Happy birthday.

Aw, Jerry.

I should be buying you presents.

What does that mean?

Leave your father alone. It's his birthday.

Ooh!

It's a radar detector!

Radar detector.

I've never seen you go over 20 miles an hour.

You're like the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl parade.

It's a Wizard organizer!

This looks like too much money.

Nah, I got it from a guy on the street.

It was like 50 bucks.

You think it's hot?

Could be.

Attaboy!

Helen! Jerry got me a hot Wizard computer!

I'm right here.

And you can do everything with it.

You can get e-mail, fax. There's a calculator.

So I can use it in a restaurant to figure out the tip?

Yeah, I guess.

But the really cool thing is the daily planner.

Helen, we can go into restaurants and figure out the tips!

Jerry, you're getting your father too excited.

Hey, buddy.

When did you get in?

Kramer, what are you doing here?

I told you I was retiring. I moved in next door.

Mr. Cornstein died, and it's a beautiful apartment.

Yeah, your folks said it was for rent,

so I jumped on it.

Kramer, you can't live down here,

this is where people come to die!

Not you.

Older people.

Don't eat cookies for breakfast!

I'll fix you something.

How about a feta cheese omelet?

Mmm. That sounds great, Mom.

If you feed him, he'll never leave.

I don't have any feta.

How about cottage cheese and Egg Beaters?

I guess.

I don't believe this.

I know. I know. Don't I look more relaxed?

Wow!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Whoo!

So, George, do you have any thoughts