Bears: The Hunt

The moment they arrive, the world tilts,

and suddenly nothing is about you anymore.

Every breath, every heartbeat, it all becomes theirs.

We grow faster than we ever thought we could.

Not just in strength, but in softness

and instinct, in love.

We love them, we teach them.

We worry, we roar.

We roar, we play, we cry.

We hold on, and we let go.

And through it all we try.

Always, always we try.

Looking for a fresh start, a clean forest breeze,

friendly neighbors with strong claws

and even stronger values.

Welcome to Beartopia, where community, safety

and progress are more than words.

There are claws to success.

Here in Beartopia your cubs can thrive in inclusive schools,

eco-friendly dens and fully furnished homes

designed with sustainability in mind.

We believe in giving back.

Our wildlife management initiatives

ensures peaceful coexistence by managing threats

before they manage us.

This is what love is.

We built our homes, we raised our young,

we planted the seeds in our gardens as we watched them grow.

We sang lullabies to our babies.

Scout over.

As we watch them grow.

And we always trusted in tomorrow.

You are my everything.

I love you high and low.

I love you more than the flowers

love to blossom, bloom and grow.

I love you more than the trees

love to change with every season.

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

What is that? It's a weird sound.

Go pack your bag, go.

Get Mr. Bear, come on.

Come on.

Get the things.

Get some clothes.

Aris, come here.

Baby, we gotta get our shoes.

Woo-hoo, Janet.

Oh, third morning this week, huh?

Fourth. I can't believe it.

Those, they're like raccoons with opposable thumbs.

They were actually nesting in my prized plumerias.

Oh no, not your prized plumeria.

The purple ones or the rainbow ones?

And look, I think they're multiplying.

I heard there's a nest of them behind the Wilson Shed.

It's the smell of the compost.

It drives them wild.

Or maybe it's the school zone.

They're attracted to children.

I read that somewhere.

Oh, but don't worry, Cindy,

the mayor's gonna make his announcement today.

Oh really? He's making an announcement.

I think it's gonna make a difference.

I hear that they've given the green light

for population control.

Humane relocation of course.

Human relocation.

Yeah. That'll be great.

But if anybody can fix it, it's Mayor Bearington.

He really cares for Beartopia.

Yeah. I'll let him govern me anytime.

Oh.

And you know what else?

I hear they're gonna clear out all the nasty human homes

down at the end of the block.

This is from my home town.

Oh, they're like,

they bring them like they're having a picnic.

What mother does that?

A disrespectful kind or a dangerous kind.

We don't have to worry about that until.

You know if it gets any worse,

I'm gonna send my kids to forest school.

I hear the squirrels run a solid program.

At least the squirrels are an old, dirty and smelly.

True.

Oh, here he comes.

Oh.

Good morning, ladies.

Looking feral and ferocious as always.

Hey, Drew, watch your emissions.

You're ruining my hydrangeas.

Someone's compensating for his tiny tail.

Not what your daughter was saying

when we were dating.

The only thing he hunts is attention.

That's so true.

You think he takes humans for rides on that thing?

I'll take your daughter out for a ride.

- Oh my goodness. - Oh boy.

Bring back old times.

We don't need your type around here.

Have fun with them andraead.

Whatever.

My fellow bears, we must remember

that safety is not a privilege.

It is a right.

And that right begins with responsibility.

It begins with action.

This year, Beartopia turns a page.

Together we will reclaim our space,

protect our young and restore balance

to our beautiful wild land suburbs.

Citizens of Beartopia.

Today we stand on the edge of progress,

of safety, of peace, of purpose.

We have all watched this threat grow together.

We have seen our neighborhoods disrupted,

our trash pilfered, our cubs frightened, but no more.

Today I am proud to announce the official launch

of the first phase

of our wildlife management initiative.

A plan built on data, on unity,

and above all, love for our home.

Thank you.

Nanook bless you.

And Nanook bless Beartopia.

Beartopia, Beartopia, Beartopia.

You tell 'em.

We all voted for you Mayor B.

I would've, but I was at the honey pack

getting it on with Ms. Honey.

Ew, gross, Femur.

You should have been here.

We're in the presence of greatness.

Stop flexing.

You are dumb.

Your dumb is showing.

Zippers down, boy.

Put that gummy bear away.

Proceed, Mr. B.

So that concludes the bulk

of our press conference for today.

But we do have a few minutes to take a few questions

from our esteemed members of the press.

I have two questions.

Ah, we have time for three.

Lunch doesn't start for an out.

Three questions. Not a problem.

It's an election year.

Three questions.

Yes, Bear.

Mr. Mayor, how do you feel about all these protestors?

Oh yes, of course.

These, these are very passionate individuals

and they do have the right to protest

as we recognize everyone's right here in Beartopia.

But they need to understand a great deal of energy

and thought went into this plan.

This is not random.

It's not just something we cobbled together.

The one thing that I can promise you and your viewers

is that these hunts will be conducted

in the most ethical way possible.

Alright. I don't know what ethical means, but I like him.

Yes, Bear Bryant from BNN.

Oh.

Yeah.

Yes.

Are they in your pocket?

The developers?

No, not at all.

Again, this was a very comprehensive study

and we took all aspects of it into consideration.

We understand it's not the human's fault.

They have nowhere else to go.

But at the end of the day, we have to consider the safety

and well being, not just of our fellow bears,

but of our community.

Did you get all that?

Yeah.

Mr. Mayor, these brazen,

cocky humans need containment.

What's the plan?

There will unfortunately have to be enforcement.

However, those who conducted the survey,

along with our staff, I've instructed them all,

there is to be no cruelty.

This will be conducted, this hunt, ethically

by the book and under strict regulation.

No human that is killed during these hunts.

And there are specific upper limits.

It will be under strict supervision

and we will make sure that there is no cruelty,

no excesses carried out by anyone

who has a license issued by the wild land government.

And right now, that's all we can talk about,