The Other Me

CHECK OUT THE YO-YO.

WHAT A DORK.

THERE'S THE YO-YO KID.

OH, MY GOSH. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL.

WILL!

HOW'S IT GOIN'?

GREAT, CHUCKIE.

POSITIVELY GREAT.

REALLY? ISN'T TODAY REPORT CARD DAY?

YEP. AND ONCE AGAIN, I'LL SHOW YOU

THAT THE WILL BROWNING METHOD OF SLIDING BY

JUST CAN'T BE BEAT.

SUCH CONFIDENCE. I LOVE IT.

WATCH AND LEARN, CHUCKIE. WATCH AND LEARN.

OH, HI, WILL.

IS THIS YOUR LOCKER?

MAYBE. WHY?

WELL, I MOVED MY LOCKER HERE.

I WANTED TO CHANGE MY LOUSY SPOT.

SO, WILL, I WAS JUST WONDERING...

I MEAN, WITH THE JUNIOR SOCIAL JUST AROUND THE CORNER...

SORRY, HEATHER. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE.

I GOTTA GO. WE'LL TALK SOMETIME, THOUGH.

DO LUNCH.

REALLY? WHEN?

UH, SOMETIME.

DO LUNCH? WHO ARE YOU, TOM CRUISE?

IT'S AN EXPRESSION. IT MEANS, MAYBE NEXT MILLENNIUM.

AND AS I GIVE YOU YOUR REPORT CARDS,

I THINK THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO REMIND YOU

THAT YOUR SCIENCE PROJECTS ARE DUE IN THREE WEEKS.

I GOT IT COVERED.

FOR SOME OF YOU

THE PROJECT IS VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST A "B,"

I'LL BE SEEING YOU AGAIN IN THIS CLASS NEXT YEAR.

THAT BAD?

NAH. IT'S NO BIGGIE.

WATCH IT, BROWNING.

SCOTTIE DESOTA.

MAN, DOES HE HATE YOU!

I GET THE GUY IN TROUBLE ONCE

AND HE HOLDS A GRUDGE FOREVER.

TROUBLE? YOU GOT HIM SUSPENDED.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I BETTER GET HOME AND WORK ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT.

WHATEVER IT IS, THROW IT AWAY

AND DO A REAL ONE, WILL.

YOU GOTTA NAIL IT.

COME ON. WHO NEEDS AN "A," ANYWAY?

UH, YOU DO.

VOILA!

DOES IT HAVE A NAME?

OH, IT'S OAT BRAN WITH SOME VARIETAL TREE BARK.

IT PROMOTES HEALING, PEACE,

AND TOGETHERNESS.

HONEY, WE HAVE NO PLATES.

NO, NO. WE DON'T NEED PLATES.

THIS IS A COMMON POT.

WE ALL EAT FROM IT.

IT'S A FAMILY BONDING THING.

YEAH, RIGHT.

MAYBE WITH SOME GLUE,

YOU COULD BOND ME AND GOOFBALL.

ALLANA.

SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING ON OUR NEXT FAMILY VACATION?

I LOVE IT WHEN WE TRAVEL TOGETHER.

ANYONE WANT TO SEE MY REPORT CARD?

I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

UM, ALLANA, THIS IS TERRIFIC.

I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY.

RIGHT, WILL?

ALLANA.

THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

A "D" IS SCIENCE. AN "F" IN SOCIAL STUDIES?

SOCIAL STUDIES, WILL?

YOU CAN GET AT LEAST A "C" IN SOCIAL STUDIES

IF YOU ANSWER EVERY QUESTION "WASHINGTON."

AND THE SAME COMMENTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

"DOESN'T APPLY HIMSELF."

"NOT ENOUGH EFFORT." "NOT TRYING."

I TRY. YOU KNOW I TRY.

BUT, WILL, IF YOU'RE TRYING,

WHY DO ALL YOUR TEACHERS SAY YOU AREN'T?

YOU LEAVE US NO CHOICE...

WE HAVE TO GO TO PLAN "B."

PLAN "B"?

I'M NOT GONNA LIKE PLAN "B," AM I?

CAMP SPARTICUS.

YES!

NO! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

IT'S A PRISON CAMP!

IT'S A HIGHLY RESPECTED SUMMER BOOT CAMP FOR BOYS.

IT'S NOT A PUNISHMENT.

A SUMMER AT CAMP SPARTICUS WILL TEACH YOU DISCIPLINE AND RESPONSIBILITY.

IT'LL TEACH YOU TO PUSH YOURSELF.

IT'LL TURN ME INTO A MINDLESS, UNIFORM-WEARING MACHINE.

COOL.

NO MORE DISCUSSION, WILL.

UNLESS WE SEE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT IN YOUR GRADES,

YOU'LL BE SPENDING THE SUMMER AT CAMP SPARTICUS.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

SPARTICUS, THE CAMP OF MISERY AND DESPAIR?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

HOW 'BOUT SCHOOL WORK?

MAYBE START WITH YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT.

I MEAN, APPLY YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE.

WHO ARE YOU, MY ANNOYING THIRD PARENT?

NO, JUST A GUY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SPEND HIS SUMMER

WITHOUT HIS BEST FRIEND.

I GOTTA GO. BYE.

MOM, DO YOU THINK CAMP SPARTICUS WILL STILL LET ME IN

IF I CAN SOMEHOW MAKE ONE LEG SHORTER THAN THE OTHER?

IT'S A PRETTY CLEVER IDEA.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD USE SOME OF THAT BRAIN POWER

ON YOUR SCHOOL WORK, HUH?

WHATTA YA THINK?

SORRY, MOM. ALLANA GETS "A"s, NOT ME.

SWEETHEART, I DON'T CARE ABOUT "A"s.

I CARE ABOUT EFFORT.

AND SO DOES YOUR DAD.

HE CARES VERY MUCH.

JUST TRY, WILL. THAT'S ALL WE ASK.

DON'T HOLD BACK SO MUCH.

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL, SMART, TALENTED GUY.

LET PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.

THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY.

GOODNIGHT, SWEETHEART.

"GROW YOUR OWN FUN!"

HELLO, SCIENCE PROJECT.

"OCEAN PUPS"

ONE BECOMES TWO, VICTOR.

HYPERCLONING.

THE GREATEST ADVANCE IN SCIENCE IN 100 YEARS.

WE'RE GONNA BE FILTHY RICH.

CONRAD, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.

IT'S ABOUT EVERYTHING WE CAN BUY WITH IT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

SOON WE'LL BE OUT OF THIS MISERABLE PLACE.

WE WON'T HAVE TO USE THIS COMPANY AS A FRONT

TO HIDE OUR RESEARCH ANYMORE.

WE'RE GONNA WORK IN A HI-TECH LABORATORY.

WITH REAL WHITE LAB COATS.

AND LAB ASSISTANTS.

WITH NAME TAGS.

GRAPE JUICE?

HMMM.

YES!

"SCIENCE HAS NEVER BEEN THIS MUCH FUN."

"THESE PETS ARE SURE TO AMAZE."

I'M READY TO BE AMAZED.

"THE WATER TEMPERATURE MUST BE MORE THAN 68

BUT LESS THAN 75 DEGREES."

PERFECT. 72 DEGREES.

NEXT, THE EGGS...

DON'T LET ME DOWN, BOYS.

MY SUMMER RESTS ON YOUR LITTLE LEGS.

OR WHATEVER YOU GOT.

WEIRD-LOOKING THINGS.

WHERE'S THE STIRRER?

GUESS A LITTLE OF MY HAIR WON'T HURT.

NOW WHAT?

"YOU SHOULD SEE SOME RESULTS

WITHIN THE NEXT 48-72 HOURS"?

TWO DAYS?

OR LESS.

CUSTOMER SERVICE. I NEED CUSTOMER SERVICE.

OCEAN PUP. "YOU PROVIDE THE WATER, WE PROVIDE THE FUN."

YEAH, HI. MY NAME'S WILLIAM BROWNING

AND I JUST USED A KIT I ORDERED...

WAS IT SATISFACTORY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN I GOT FLASHING LIGHTS AND WATER SPOUTS...

LIGHTS AND SPOUTS?

OK, MR. BROWNING, LET ME GET MY HANDBOOK.

AAAH!

MR. BROWNING, THERE'S NOTHING IN THE HANDBOOK

RELATING TO YOUR PARTICULAR PROBLEM.

WHAT?!

WELL, I'VE DONE AN EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH

THROUGH ALL OF OUR DATABASES.

I ALSO CHECKED THE INDEXES OF EARLIER MANUALS FOR OUR KIT...

WHAT?!

I EVEN CONSULTED OUR RESEARCH DEPARTMENT

AND THEY CONFIRMED THAT THE HANDBOOK

DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT LIGHTS AND SPOUTS.

DON'T!

NO, IT DON'T.

MAYBE YOU COULD DESCRIBE YOUR PROBLEM AGAIN.

NO. PUT IT DOWN.

NO? NO!

SIR, ARE YOU THERE?

YEP. I'M HERE.

SIR, HELLO?

GOTTA GO. LOVE YOUR KIT. BYE.

WE GOTTA TALK.

FOR STARTERS...

PUT THAT ON.