Doug

CAPTIONING SPONSORED BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

COOL! WHOA!

Doug: DEAR JOURNAL, IT'S ME, DOUG.

LAST WEEK MY LIFE WAS JUST ABOUT PERFECT

WHEN SUDDENLY MY DAD SAID THE TWO MOST FEARED WORDS

IN THE WORLD-- WE'RE MOVING.

DAD, CAN YOU DODGE THE BUMPS

I'M GETTING INK BLOBS ON MY JOURNAL.

THAT'S A BIG 10-4.

LOOK OUT BLUFFINGTON, THE FUNNIE FAMILY'S ARRIVED.

Doug: "POPULATION 20,001."

I GUESS THE ONE IS ME.

THAT'S ME.

HEY!

HERE WE ARE, HOME SWEET HOME.

I CLAIM THIS PLACE IN THE NAME OF THE FUNNIES.

TA-DA.

NEW TOWN, NEW SCHOOL, NEW FRIENDS.

WHAT IF I DON'T FIT IN?

MY SISTER JUDY DOESN'T SEEM TOO WORRIED.

TO HER, LIFE IS A MOVIE

AND SHE PLAYS ALL THE GOOD PARTS.

AH, THE AIR IS ELECTRIC WITH THE FRAGRANCE OF THIS NEW VENTURE.

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

OH... GIVE ME STRENGTH.

AS USUAL, MOM WAS TRYING TO TURN LEMONS INTO LEMONADE.

EXCUSE ME

BUT SHOULDN'T OUR FURNITURE BE INSIDE THE HOUSE?

PORKCHOP HAD HIS OWN MOVING TO DO.

PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE HOW MUCH STUFF A DOG CAN ACCUMULATE.

DAD WAS DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST, TAKING PICTURES.

THAT'S WHY WE MOVED HERE.

HE'S THE NEW PHOTOGRAPHER AT THE BUSY BEAVER DEPARTMENT STORE.

IT'S ALL PRETTY EXCITING

EVEN IF MY WHOLE LIFE'S JUST BEEN THROWN UP IN THE AIR.

WHOA!

THAT'S PERFECT.

PUT IT DOWN RIGHT OVER THERE.

OKAY, LET'S GET THE ENTIRE FAMILY UNIT ON THE COUCH

FOR A SHOT.

COME ON, PORKCHOP.

OKAY, FUNNIES, SAY, "CHEESE."

All: CHEESE.

SPEAKING OF CHEESE, I BET WE'RE ONE HUNGRY FUNNIE FAMILY.

YOU READ MY MIND, I'M STARVING.

SON.

YEAH, DAD?

WHY DON'T YOU HOP ON YOUR BIKE

AND GO FIND US SOME BURGERS.

MAYBE THAT COW CAN SHOW YOU TO THE NEAREST BALE OF HAY.

BONJOUR,WELCOME, NEWCOMER.

WELCOME TO JUMBO STREET.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

I'M DOUG.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

THAT'S PORKCHOP, THE DOG.

WHATEVER, I'M DINK, BUD DINK.

YOU CAN CALL ME MR. DINK.

AND THIS IS TIPPY.

PEOPLE CALL HER MRS. DINK.

I CALL HER BY TELEPHONE.

TELEPHONE, GET IT?

WHO WRITES YOUR MATERIAL, DEAR?

MOST OF IT I DO MYSELF.

I'M A WRITER, YOU KNOW.

THE MISSES AND I LIVE NEXT DOOR.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET A QUESTION BE YOUR UMBRELLA.

HUH?

CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET SOME FAST BURGERS?

MY FAMILY'S STARVING.

WHY SURE-- THERE ARE SEVERAL SUPERB CHOICES.

DO YOU HAVE TIME

TO WATCH THE OFFICIAL "WELCOME TO BLUFFINGTON" VIDEO?

IT'S SHORT AND INFORMATIVE.

MY FAMILY'S STARVING AND I REALLY...

WELL, OF COURSE YOU DO.

IT'S A LITTLE FILM

WE SHOW ALL OUR NEW RESIDENTS

CALLED "BLUFFINGTON PROUD"

STARRING MAYOR ROBERT "BOB" WHITE.

BUT MR. DINK, I HAVE TO GET SOME BURGERS FAST

AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO.

THIS TAPE WILL SHOW YOU.

I'LL JUST FAST FORWARD TO THE GOOD PARTS.

ISN'T THIS A SNAPPY LITTLE DEVICE?

VERY EXPENSIVE.

CAREFUL, DEAR, YOU MIGHT IMPRESS SOMEBODY.

SHH, IT'S COMING ON.

HELLO, I'M ROBERT "BOB" WHITE, MAYOR OF BLUFFINGTON.

I WANT TO GIVE A HEARTY WELCOME TO YOU.

IT'S NOT EASY BEING NEW TO A CITY LIKE BLUFFINGTON.

SO TO HELP, LET ME TAKE YOU ON A VIDEO ADVENTURE.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

HERE'S BLUFFCO INDUSTRIES, FOUNDED BY THE BLUFF FAMILY

WHO MADE THIS CITY WHAT IT IS TODAY.

PROUD? YOU BET WE ARE.

Dink: LET ME JUST FAST FORWARD HERE.

DID YOU SEE THAT NEEMATOAD?

I DIDN'T EITHER, BUT IF YOU ENJOY FOLKLORE

OUR FAIR TOWN IS FULL OF IT.

STUPID? YOU BET IT IS.

Dink: VERY SCARY-- THIS IS THE GOOD PART.

White: WE'RE STOPPING AT THE HONKER BURGER.

BEING THIS PROUD CAN WORK UP AN APPETITE.

HUNGRY? YOU BET I AM.

THERE IT IS, THE HONKER BURGER.

GO THAT WAY ON VINE AND TURN RIGHT ON LUCKY DUCK LANE.

YOU CAN'T MISS IT.

THANKS A LOT, MR. DINK.

SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT PLACE.

SO LONG, DOUGLAS.

THERE NOW, THAT DIDN'T TAKE SO LONG, DID IT?

NO, DEAR, IT ONLY FELT LIKE A LIFETIME.

ALL THE KIDS GO THERE.

GREAT, THINK OF ALL THE NEW FRIENDS I'M ABOUT TO MEET.

BUT WHAT IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME?

WHAT IF I DON'T FIT IN?

WHAT IF THEY THINK I'M A DUFUS?

THIS IS DOUG FUNNIE.

HE COULD HAVE BEEN A FINE CITIZEN

BUT NO, HE CHOSE

THE PATH OF THE LOSER.

LET'S HONK THIS LOSER OUT OF TOWN.

HELP!

[ car horns honking impatiently]

COME ON, PORKCHOP, LET'S GO FOR IT.

HI, I'D LIKE THREE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS, ONE ALL THE WAY

ONE, NO PICKLES; ONE, NO ONIONS

FOUR LARGE FRIES

AND FOUR GRAPE SODAS.

WHAT ON EARTH

ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

MY FAMILY IS STARVING AND I...

YO, MAN, LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS.

THE NEW KID WANTS THREE MOO-COWS

ONE NO CUKES, ONE NO SNEAKERS

FOUR TUBERS AND FOUR FOR THE VINE.

ANYTHING ELSE?

WELL, HOW DO YOU ORDER A SALAD?

ONE SALAD FROM THE SALAD BAR!

YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE, AREN'T YOU?

MM-HMM.

I'M SKEETER.

IT'S SHORT FOR "MOSQUITO."

IT'S A FAMILY NAME.

WELL, I'M FUNNIE.

UH, I MEAN DOUG FUNNIE

AND THIS IS PORKCHOP.

WOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN

A VEGETARIAN DOG BEFORE.

WELL, IT'S JUST A PHASE.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU AROUND.

HEY, EVERYBODY!

THIS IS DOUG, THE NEW KID.

HI.

Boy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?

WE NEVER HAVE BEETS AT HOME.

BEETS? WHY, THEY'RE NATURE'S CANDY

DON'T YOU KNOW?

Waitress: HEY, NEW KID

YOUR ORDER'S READY.

I'LL GET IT.

NO, I'LL GET IT.

NO, ALLOW ME.

WOW.

SHE'S WONDER...

WELL, WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

YOU MUST BE THE NEW KID.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

WELL, I'M DOUG, FUNNIE.

I GUESS I DIDN'T CATCH YOURS.

BECAUSE I DIDN'T THROW IT.