South Park

- (car horn honks) - (indistinct chatter)

Citizens of Denver,

we are in the middle of an environmental crisis.

The winters are bringing less and less snow.

And now, we are facing a drought

due to the effects of Global ManBearPig.

- A drought? - (overlapping chatter)

- What? No. - ManBearPig? - What? ManBearPig?

ALL of Denver's water comes from streams up in the mountains,

but now, ManBearPig has decimated these areas

and wreaked havoc on the upper mountain streams.

And so, effective immediately,

we are declaring a drought

and cutting back on all the city's water.

- No! - You can't do that! - (overlapping shouting)

What about our homeowners' association rules?

Some of us are required to have nice, green lawns.

You expect us to have

- nice, brown lawns? - (overlapping shouting)

I own 12 golf courses in the Denver Metro area.

You're not cutting down on my damn water.

Have you all forgotten about the Pi Pi?

I have Denver's largest water park.

All water parks are 50% pee

and 50% water.

You-you can't forget about a Pi Pi.

Nobody wants to lose the water, but we're in a drought.

- (shouting stops) There simply isn't

enough water coming to Denver from up in the mountains.

And the water up there is being used

for farms and agriculture.

What kind of agriculture?

How's it looking?

They still look dry.

Okay, then I'm gonna open the reserves.

Yeah!

Yeah, and so, and so then, so then

Clyde said that if a chick uses hairspray,

you can actually light her head on fire.

Nuh-uh.

Yeah-huh, Tolkien. You guys want to see?

Kenny, do you have matches?

Yeah, of course I have matches.

Check this out, you guys.

Eric Cartman. - (bus brakes)

Eric Cartman.

What? You're ruining it.

This is your stop.

Oh. Right.

Scuse-scuse me.

Hey. Hey, guys.

You want to come hang out at my house for a bit?

Uh, no, that's cool.

It's not my fault that my mom lost her job

and we had to move, you guys. It's really not so bad.

Uh, yeah, maybe some other time.

My house is cool, you guys.

- Kenny, you want to come chill? - I'm cool, dude.

It's still way better than your house, Kenny!

'Cause your family's poor!

Your family's poor, Kenny.

Hi, honey. How was school?

Fuck you, Mom.

You doing anything, Tolkien?

You want to come over to my house, play a board game?

Oh, um, I should probably go home.

Well, okay, you want to play a game over at your house?

Yeah, uh, I-I don't know.

Sorry, I'm just... not in the best mood, I guess.

Hey, are you still worried about Karen?

Yeah.

Yeah, me, too.

But we all have to try to just be happy, you know?

No matter what happens with Karen.

You're right. Okay, come on.

Hey.

Stan, where do you think you're going?

I'm gonna go hang out at Tolkien's house

for a bit, Karen.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am, Karen.

You better knock that off.

I don't want you playing with Tolkien.

Karen, just come back inside.

I've told you I don't want our son

hanging out with those people.

And exactly what do you mean by "those people"?

I mean traitors

who I hired to give my weed more street cred,

and then go out and open their own weed business.

You're not the only weed grower in this valley.

But I was supposed to be the only Black one.

Excuse me.

You the owners of these farms?

I own Tegridy Weed,

the original marijuana farm on this street.

Okay, and your name is...

His name is Karen Marsh.

You better get that fucking name out your fucking mouth.

Well, gentlemen, I'm the Water Commissioner.

Colorado Division of Water Resources.

I'm here to find out exactly what's going on

with the city's water. Weed?

The city's water?

Well, you see, the water here is supposed to make its way

to all the thirsty people down in Denver.

And, uh...

Well, there's a lot of thirsty people down there.

I just want to see how much you farmers

are actually using.

Okay, well, we can show you...

Well, you should check out his fucking farm.

If you're, if you're gonna check out anyone's water,

it should be his.

All right, maybe I'll do that.

This is it, right here.

Okay, right this way, Mr. Cussler.

You are going to love this property.

It's over 30 acres, and it's in a real up-and-coming area.

I think you could build an amazing home here.

Yes. Yes, I believe I could.

Now, it's about an hour commute from where you are in Denver,

but I think the potential here is fabulous.

Oh, yes.

It looks absolutely ideal.

Do you like to entertain?

Because you could easily build a ten-bedroom house

on this property. You could have a dedicated gym,

even a full-size movie theater.

Full-size movie theater?

If you want, we can walk around the property.

- It's a bit muddy, but we can... - That won't be necessary.

I'll take it. Full asking price. Cash.

Oh-oh-oh.

Da Da.

- (knock on door) - Yes. Come in.

Mom said you wanted to see me.

Yes, Shelley, have a seat.

Close the door, please.

I've been, uh, wanting to talk to you, Shelley.

Um...

Can you tell me why everyone is calling me "Karen"?

Don't worry about it.

Well, everybody keeps calling me Karen,

and I don't get it.

Is it, is it, like, a joke or something?

"Karen" is a pejorative term for a white person

who acts overly entitled and demanding.

Okay, well, that's fucked up.

Don't you think that's a little, like, sexist?

I didn't start it.

Well, who did?

The Internet.

So-so now somebody is a Karen

just 'cause they want to be treated with some respect?

I deserve to not have people walk all over me, okay?

I have the right to call the cops when things happen.

That's fine, Karen.

Shelley, I deserve to not have--

What the fuck is he doing here?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Excuse me, this is my property.

Your soil seems very hydrated.

Must be getting lots of water.

What are you saying, that I use too much?

I use the water that my crops need and nothing more.

Is that a Slip 'N Slide over there?

That is an agricultural Slip 'N Slide, yes.

Apparently, you know nothing about farming.

Look, if you have any excess of water,

you might actually make some money, that's all I'm saying.

Make money? Wait, what?