The Little Shop of Horrors

My name is Sergeant Joe Fink...

working a 24 hour shift on a homicide.

And this is my workshop.

The part of town that everybody knows about but that nobody wants to see.

Where the tragedies is a deeper, the ecstasies wilder...

and the crime rate consistently higher than anywhere else

Skid Row

My beat.

The most terrifying period in the history of my beat...

began in a little rundown floral shop called Mushnick's.

Ah, good morning Mrs. Shiva, how's things today?

The same as usual, Mr. Mushnick.

My sister's nephew Stanley died.

In Little Rock, Arkansas.

Aww. What happened?

He got blown up who knows how.

That's nice.

Well, you would like, maybe, as usual some flowers for the funural?

I thought, possibly,...

because I always give you all my funeral business...

and maybe you should possibly give to me, eh...

a little cut today.

Look on me, Mrs. Shiva.

What am I? A philatelist?

I sell on Skid Row nothing but cheap carnations.

And I should give you a cut rate.

I can't even afford water for the flowers!

To my throat I would be giving a cut.

Excuse me, Mrs. Shiva.

- That Seymour... - He's a nice boy.

- Why don't you let him sing? - What sing?!

Look: Here I got a new customer.

Brand new in the yellow vest.

I should let the clean up boy...

but I can't even afford chase them out right away.

Flowers fresh as the spring time. Mushnick. Hello?

Oh, hello Dr. Farb.

What can I do for you today?

Listen, Mushink, I haven't got much time.

Send me over two gladiolas and a fern.

Excellent, that's two dozen glads, one pottet fern.

No, no, no, Mushnick!

Two gladiolas and one fern.

You want I should put two gladiolas in the pot with the fern.

No, one fern, one piece.

Altogether three pieces.

I need it for my waiting room.

- A filling fell out. - What?

- A filling fell out. - Good, I'll drill a bigger hole.

You mean you want two crummy gladiolas and one crummy fern?

What kind of a decoration is that?

This is my flower budget for the week.

Mushnick.

Who can be a dentist on Skid Row?

Fine, excellent. I'll send Seymour right away.

Who am I to argue with science?

Make it snappy.

Now you are going to get...

oh, you are going to get it.

Look.

Seymour Krelborn!

Now, Mrs. Shiva. We were talking from the funeral flowers.

But the little...

Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?

No. I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce.

Sorry I said it.

Now look Seymour.

You take two gladiolas.

You'll cut them nice and even.

You'll take one fern. You'll wrap them in a package...

and you'll take them to Dr. Farb.

Right?

Now go already!

Now what can I do for you, sir?

Uh, my name is Burson Fouch.

Excellent! I am Gravis Mushnick.

Oh, that's a good one.

Who is gonna get my roses?

I'll take care of you, Mrs. Shiva.

Come right over here.

You would like, maybe, some orchids for a nice girl?

No, I think I'd like a couple of dozen carnations.

Carnations.

A person find a lot of these these that somebody shouldn't drop dead!

You had more than your share of bad luck, Mrs. Shiva.

Bad luck, she calls it.

You should have so many people kicked off.

About the carnations...

You said you wanted some roses.

Yeah. For Stanley.

My carnations.

You should see wha... See, Morris.

Oh, here are your carnations.

- Wait, I'll wrap them for you. - No, it's all right. I'll eat them here.

Why not?

Of course. What else?

They are alright?

Well, I've had better.

Well, this is a small shop.

That's ok.

You know: These big places...

they are full of pretty flowers, expensive flowers.

When you raise them for looks and smell you're bound to lose some food value.

I like these little out-of-the-way places.

Such a thing - eating flowers.

Look: Don't knock it until you try it, huh?

Look what happened.

This is what I was trying to tell you before

Look on him, everybody!

Look at the quality of his work!

I ask you: When I fire him...

where is he gonna get such another good job?

You mean I'm fired?

No, I'm electing you president from the United States.

Yes, you are fired!

- Gravis, you can't do that. - Who? Who can't?

- I didn't mean it. - You didn't mean it.

You never mean it.

You didn't mean it the time you put up the bouquet with the get well card...

in the funeral parlour.

And send the black lilies...

to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it.

But this time...

I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!

He means it.

But see, Mr. Mushnick, don't I always try to do what's right?

And i'm crazy about flowers.

I like flowers almost as much as Audrey does.

Excellent. You're fired.

Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?

I give him a chance to quit.

- I ain't gonna quit. - You're a brave boy. You're fired!

But that ain't fair, Mr. Mushnick.

You know what I'm doin'?

I'm working on a special surprise plant just for you.

I'm growing a plant like you ain't never seen before.

Excellent! I can't even sell the plants I got in my shop.

- Out, you! - Now, wait a minute.

If he's got a new kind of plant you'll look at it.

I don't look on flowers, Mr. Yellowvest.

I got ancestors in the flower business for 200 years.

But I got one shop on Skid Row, one stinking shop.

- I don't even like flowers! - Now, you don't understand what I mean.

Look: I've been eating in flower shops all over the world.

And I have noticed that the places that have the mosts weird and unusal plants were the best business.

See?

- See? - See?

What is this? A tango?

Alright.

Explain me more.

Well...

I remember one place that had a whole wall covered with poison ivy.

And people came from miles around to look at the wall.

And they stayed to buy.

The owner got rich?

No. He scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.

Oh!

That was my cousin Harry.

Alright.

Alright.

You go home and you get this fancy schmancy plant and you bring it back here.

And if Mr. Yellowvest Fouch says it's a draw, you still got a job.

If he don't - out you go to Bodeo, right?

Dont' worry. You'll like it - you'll see.

This is Radio KSIK

You've been listening to "Music for Old Invalids".

Our next selection is entitled...

"Sickroom Serenade"

Seymour, is that you?

Yeah, ma.

Get in here. Look at my tongue

But ma, I've already seen your tongue.

There be no sympathy for your poor mother?

Laughing at her and mocking her illness...

and she's got one foot in the grave.

- I didn't mean it. - Oh, you never mean it.

Oh, come on. Look at my tongue.

That tongue is a tongue, ma. They all look the same to me.

Did you stop at Dr. Mallard and get the results of my tests?

Yeah,he said there's nothing wrong with you.

Oh, not Dr. Mallard.

He-He is one doctor I thought would tell the truth.

He said you sould be playing fullback for the Rams.

He wants me dead.

I'll bet he is assistant coroner.

Well, I gotta... - A-A-And I know I got...

My goiter's coming back. I can feel it every morning after breakfast.

Yeah, that's when you take those great...

What you got? A little surprise for me?

- Open it up and see. - Alright.

Dr. Slurpsaddle's famous tonic.

Wait here.

To be taken internally or externally for pain and neuritis...

neuralgia, headaches,...

i-if hit by a truck, call your physician.

Alcoholic content: 98 percent!

Oh, Seymour.

You'll never know what it is gonna do for me.

Oh, I can feel that surge of warm health going through me already.

Look, ma. I gotta get my plant and hurry back to the shop.